Dark clouds were laying heavy on her heart. There had been no sunshine since they had been apart. The sun still rose and shone every morning just the same as it did yesterday, but she couldn't feel the light nor the warmth. She was empty inside, on her own.
She didn't know which hurt her more. That they couldn't see each other anymore or that he couldn't make her more than his mistress.
She was such a fool. What made her think he would ever plan to marry her? Moreover, what made her think he would be willing to run away with her, leaving his privileged life behind and never looked back? She wasn't worth it. He was right, what he offered was the best any man could offer her. She was nothing but a pariah, she wasn't fit for any decent man, let alone the nobility. In her naivety she thought she could climb higher than any of the women of her family, but the truth was she could never escape the filth that ran in her blood, imprinted in her genes. She had no right to convince him to marry her. There was no one to blame but her, she had known it from the first time she found he was a nobleman. Still, the realization that he wanted nothing but an illicit affair with her broke her heart to pieces.
Part of her understood Magnus couldn't make a choice that would change his life drastically. But still, it disappointed her very badly. She told herself over and over again that it wasn't his fault. That she was the one who had fallen to a blind expectation. A delusive idea that he would give anything to be with her, that he would fight the world for her. She was such a pathetic halfwit.
At this time, she remembered what her mother once told her.
"There are circumstances I cannot change, I wish things could be different, but life doesn't work that way. I'm thankful that I knew what I wanted the most, and I took the chance. It had taken me all my life to discover this. Be content with what you have, and what you can have. Don't ask for too much, otherwise you'll lose your only chance."
Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months. With the passing time, she found that everyday things got easier to accept. Her tears had ran dry and her despair gradually faded. Still, she didn't find a reason to be happy like before. She didn't find a reason to wake up every morning and meet the new day with joyful heart. She lived everyday the same way she did before, eating, sleeping, doing her chores. She was simply a breathing shell, alive yet dead inside. She did everything without any interest or intention, just keeping up with her life because it was the only way she knew. She never saw Magnus again ever since, nor received a message from him. Sometimes she imagined he would come unexpectedly, by her bedroom window, in front of her house, in the street, and many more. She had fantasized many different versions of his comeback, but none of them happened. People said time would heal everything. Perhaps one day she would. For now, all that she knew was just to survive another day.
*****
"Coming!" Polly wiped her dirty hands to her apron as she raced to the door. From the brutal knocking out there, seemed like there was some serious matter. The door swayed open and Lady Byrne and three local women appeared in the doorway. "Who is that?" Ava came out from her bedroom. Lady Byrne hurried toward her and took her hand, dragging her out of the house. Meanwhile, the other women had driven Polly out in front of her.
"Hurry up dear!! We don't want to miss the parade! It will begin in less than half an hour!"
"What parade?"
"Today is the duke's engagement day! It has been a tradition in this land, every engagement and wedding of the duke or his firstborn will be celebrated with a parade across the main road, passing the townsquare and back to the manor. I bet it will be a great spectacle!"
The other women babbled on behind her.
"Oh, I cannot wait to see the lady. I wonder if she is as beautiful as what people say?"
"All their family member will join the parade. I really want to see Princess Charlotte, mother of the bride. Can you imagine, a princess!!!"
After everything that happened in the past, the duke was the last thing she wanted to think of. He was the bane of her life, and now she was expected to join the celebration of his happy moment. She was thinking of a good reason to escape when a thought crossed her mind. If the couple's family member would be there, perhaps she could see Magnus. She missed him very much. If she could have a sight of him only for a split second... She followed the lady into the street and tried to show a proper interest in the topic.
So, the duke was going to get married. She could hardly believe it. She couldn't imagine him being someone's husband. Somehow, it didn't suit him. He was like... a lone wolf, a solitary man. He was on his own even when he was surrounded by his people. He was never part of any crowd. It was hard to imagine him together with someone.
The lady kept talking relentlessly, like she never ran out of excitement.
"Do you know His Grace's betrothed is the king's niece?! What a great match! The Hydes was one of the oldest royal family in England. They have the bluest of blood. Their men are said to be fit for a queen!"
No wonder he was so conceited about it. Now he was going to marry a princess.
"I can't wait to see the next duchess, lady Selene Wyndham. People said her beauty has no equal. People called her Venus from Wales!"
The babbling continued for about ten minutes later. Finally they reached a public garden located uphill, on the opposite side of the townsquare, a strategic place to have a great view of the street below. Lady Byrne lead them to the place that she claimed as "has the best view of the whole spectacle". The crowd had flooded the area, clearly the parade was one of the most highly anticipated event in this quiet town. The old lady seemed to be very well-known among the villagers, since they moved in respectful manner to give the lady and her companions way upfront. Soon they made their way to the front line.
"Ah, Nora! How delightful to see you here!"
Lady Byrne greeted a woman standing there in the front line.
"Let me introduce my friends, Miss Ava and Miss Polly Banks. This is Madam Nora."
Ava nodded politely to the older woman while another villager greeted Lady Byrne, distracting her away. Madam Nora was a middle-aged Romani woman. She let her long, dark hair tumbling free, with ropes of beads entwined through the locks. She dressed in a black Romani clothing, wearing necklaces, bracelets and rings all over her. The woman glanced at Polly shortly before shifted her gaze to her. She looked at her intensely with a pair of night black eyes. They held a mystical aura that somehow got her pulse quickening. Ava thought the woman was going to turn away after a moment, but she remained still, staring at her longer than proper.
"You're no ordinary woman, Miss." The woman's eyes glinting with interest. "You were born and raised in silver and gold. You were clothed in silk and satin. God knows the reason you are here now, dressed as a peasant, make your hands dirty with some farmer's job. But it won't last long. Your situation now is only for a short period of time, for you are destined for nobility. You will live a long and prosperous life in grace and honor."
A fortune teller! What a perfect timing. When her life seemed to lose its path. All she needed now was a clue. Her heartbeat racing faster to hear the truth in the prophecy about her past. It was impossible this woman had known her before.
Ava looked around quickly. Fortunately Lady Byrne and Polly were distracted by the village women. They were busy chatting and peering at the direction of the royal parade. Nobody heard what Nora said before.
If her prophecy was true, could it be...? Magnus' face flashed in her mind. Perhaps they would be together at last, after overcoming the obstacles. She turned back to Nora.
"Will I ever get married?"
"Certainly" Nora answered without a shadow of doubt. "Soon..."
Before she could ask another question, the crowd cheered loudly in high excitement. In an instant, all eyes centered to the march in the distance.
First came a rigid formation of guards, all looked mighty and gallant in their complete uniform, riding their horses, opening the way for the noble family's parade. The guards were passing by, row upon row and the village maidens watching in the front line screamed and giggled in girlish excitement.
What coming next was even more breathtaking. Inside the sophisticated barouche, the duke looked exceedingly handsome in his formal attire. For the first time, Ava saw him wearing a formal hat. It was impossible but he looked more beautiful than ever. The hat kept his eyes in shades, but it just made the blue orbs looked even more striking.
"My God! I can't believe my eyes! The lady is insanely beautiful!" Somebody exclaimed from behind her.
Carrying the old, unsent letter in his hand, Ashton took a determined step to Lord Carlton's bedchamber. The door was left slightly opened, as to make it easier for the servants to hear if the lord rang the bell. He stopped in front of the doorway and peered inside. Through the narrow opening, he could see his uncle across the room, sitting on the wheelchair by the window, gazing out into the wintry garden outside."Do come in."The lord called without glancing his way. Despite the head injury, his uncle hadn't lost his usual alertness, and the wheelchair didn't make him look less forbidding. He was very fortunate the injury didn't cause him any permanent damage, and though he hadn't quite regained his normal strength until this day, the doctor said that he would no longer need the device in a couple of weeks.Lord Carlton turned in his wheelchair to face him as he entered the room."What is it?"His uncle
Present DayWhen Ava peered into his chamber this morning, she found that he'd been able to get out of bed without any help. He stood in front of the mirror with a brush covered with lather in hand, meeting her gaze within the reflection. He paused, watching her breeze into the room and walk toward him."Oh, you're up already. Do you feel any better today?"She asked casually."Very much so. I think I'm going to have some fresh air. I'm tired of being confined in this room."Stopping within a foot from him, she glanced at the shaving equipment on the dresser."Let me help you.""There's no need-""Sit over there."She ignored him, motioning him to sit on the sidetable. Obediently, he did her bidding, half-sitting on the edge of the sidetable. With a brush, she smoothed the lather evenly ove
For a moment, she was quite bewildered by his request, but then she realized, by asking her to do so, he was trying to be completely truthful to her, to share his darkest secrets with her, no matter how sordid and shameful they were, to let her see the ugly side of him and to trust her without reserve.She settled back into the chair and took the letter from his hand. She opened the envelope and unfolded the letter, clearing her throat before she started reading,"Dear Carlton,I hope you will understand why I choose this way. I can no longer carry on in this fashion. It's not that I don't love you enough to go on. No words can express how much I love you. I die a little inside each time I see you. You can't imagine how difficult it is for me, but we both know that this is the best for us. I know you can't desert your family, and I don't blame you, for I can never do that to my son eith
Several hours later..."This is unspeakable. I can't believe it."Magnus' voice carried clearly across the hall. He turned around abruptly, wild sparks shooting from his eyes as he gazed furiously at the woman sitting in an armchair on the other side of the room."For Christsakes, why would you do this, Mother. How could you?"Lady Cecily stared into the void without so much as a word. Her eyes devoid of emotions, her refined feature as hard as granite.Sitting in a wheelchair pushed by a servant, Lord Carlton entered the parlor. Behind him are two of the guardsmen. Shooting a bitter look at his wife, he uttered with a composed voice."You'll be up before the magistrate to face the legal consequences of your crime. I've sent words to the authorities. The Constable will pick you up at first light."The lady took the notice with a pr
With soundless steps, Ava sneaked her way to Lord Carlton's bedchamber. The door was slightly opened, allowing a shaft of light from inside the room to spill out into the dark corridor. Stopping by the doorstep, she peeked into the room through the small opening. In the middle of the large bed, the lord lay as white and still as death. A candle burned in the nightstand, casting a dim glow in the gloom of the chamber.Drawing a long, fortifying breath, Ava slipped into the chamber. Crossing the room, she moved around the bed and sat in the chair nearby, gazing regretfully upon the lifeless face.To have a death on her conscience was too great a burden to bear. Perhaps she was a fool to think that to confess her sin and beg forgiveness from the insensible victim would give her a little comfort, but she just couldn't help it."I'm so sorry, My Lord." She began."I thou
There hadn't been much progress on Lord Carlton's condition the following day. He remained unconscious, only a faint pulse indicated there was life in there, yet it hung by a tenuous thread. In the morning, Doctor Haynes returned to check on him. Ashton asked him if there was any hope, and the doctor shook his head slightly in answer.In contrast to her dramatic reaction over Lord Carlton's condition the day before, Lady Cecily showed little interest in taking care of her husband. Instead, it was a loyal servant that had worked for the family for nearly fourty years who seemed to care deeply about him, feeding him with broth and water every hour, and applying soothing balm to his chapped lips. When she had finished her gentle ministrations, the old maid would kneel beside his bed and folded her wrinkled hands, praying for the master's recovery.Inside one of the sitting room in the secluded West Wing, Ashton stood gazing into the fire where