Chapter 4

JOANNA.

words got stuck up in my throat and I stood frozen, my body too numb to move. I desperately wanted to believe I was seeing things. An imagination, illusion, anything to explain the unthinkable scene unfolding before..

A slight hiccup crossed my throat as my chest tightened, I felt suffocated like I couldn't breathe. Tears were forming in my eyes as I pinched myself slightly, I still wanted to be in doubt because they were siblings right ? I gave myself a light slap to wake up! It seems my insecurity has gotten the best of me because what the heck was I imagining!

That moment Asher gently turned to me, his expression neutral, further confusing me as he stood erect. He quietly stepped away from her like nothing was going on.

“Joanna, why are you standing there?” He asked,his voice calm..

I swallowed the huge lump down my throat, what the heck was going on? Shouldn't he have some explanations if something went on? I should be asking him what he was doing! Or am I really seeing things on this note?

It just felt like I was in a daze for a moment as I stood still like a log of wood..

“Joanna….” Asher called out again, snapping me back to reality...

“I …I …” I stuttered. “I was looking for you” I finally blurted.

Asher stared at me with an unreadable expression. He looked at Cassandra for some time and then turned to me..

"Cassandra had something in her eyes, I had to help her get it out," he said, his tone flat and even. "You should have stayed inside and waited. I wasn't running away, if that's what you're thinking." His expression remained neutral, his voice devoid of emotion..

A deep sigh of relief escaped my lips as my heart finally unknotted. I felt a wave of embarrassment wash over me as I realized I let my insecurity run wild. What's wrong with me? I berated myself, shaking my head. The idea that they would be romantically involved was absurd. I knew better than to think this low of Asher.

I gave myself a slight knock on the head.

Geez, Joanna, get a grip, I thought to myself, mentally cautioning myself for the stupid thoughts I let in.

“Are you okay, Joanna?” Cassandra’s soft voice tumbled out for the first time since I stepped outside and I nodded slightly.

“Okay. Let's head back inside…” Asher demanded and began moving.

We got back inside and sat on the table and finally the waitress had placed our orders so we just picked our cutleries and dived into the food. I really wanted to get my mind off things and just enjoy the food but I was clearly forcing myself because I wasn't exactly happy this day..

Asher took some of the veggies and passed it to Cassandra’s plate..

“You should take a lot of veggies. The baby has to be strong. And you as well…” He muttered, his voice filled with care and concern for her. He used to be this concerned about me but not anymore..

“Thank you Asher…” She giggled and passed some of the proteins in her plates to Asher's.

“And you too. You should have a lot of proteins….” She said in return to his gesture.

Asher smiled and I swallowed hard, heaving a deep sigh within me. No one seemed to notice my presence. Just felt as if I was accompanying them..

“You know you didn't have to…” he responded..

Asher and Cassandra chatted away while I just sat there like an outcast, forcing food down my throat and none of them cared if i was eating or not.

The whole anniversary wasn't just what I expected. It used to be better at least until Cassandra joined.

After the dinner, Asher and Cassandra walked out holding hands while I walked behind.

Cassandra was quick to hop in the front seat while I went to the back. When we returned home, I had to go upstairs because deep down I felt very sad.

Asher spent time downstairs with Cassandra..they kept giggling and laughing. I couldn't hear their conversations but I could hear the sound of their laughter each time it covered the space. Asher must so happy around his sister.

A wave of sadness hit me again and again. Nothing made sense anymore and I couldn't tell why I deserved it.

I went into the shower and took off my clothes, letting the water from the shower cascade down my skin. After spending some time in the shower, I stepped out and saw Asher sitting on the bed. He looked up to me for a second and turned away, keeping all his focus on his cellphone.

I sighed and walked over to the wardrobe to pick a night dress. Asher didn't say anything to me, his demeanor cold and distant as always..

He gently walked into the bathroom and showered as well.

Usually, Asher do get intimate with me whenever he felt horny, there was no sort of love making.. literally him just trying to get a release and most anniversaries we have spent together, Asher would always get intimate with me so I was anticipating it. That lifted my mood a bit as I put the sexiest lingerie I ever had and laid on the bed.

Asher stepped out of the bathroom, his eyes fierce as he glanced at me for a while, not uttering a word. I wondered if he were mad or admiring me..

Asher quickly put on his pyjamas and laid on the bed. I let out a slow hiccup.. I have been sex starved for so long and I was hoping to get a little bit of his affection this day..

I was also happy he would stay the night and not stay with Cassandra because of her insomnia..

Well, it is not always the husband's duty to initiate the intimacy.. I drew closer to Asher, his cologne crowding my nostrils as my heart skipped..

My heart kept pounding so fast as I reached out my hands to touch him..

“Don't touch me, Joanna” He cut me off instantly as if he noticed my movements and moods.. I paused quickly, shutting my eyes in slight embarrassment..

“I know we do this things on our anniversary but it's useless trying since you can't even conceive? Don't you think?” He said in a cold tone and my heart dropped.