CHAPTER 8 

On his way downstairs, James found Angelina and Meg, who were sitting on the living room couch, embroidering new sheets. His wife was keeping her haughty posture, hair pinned up and a well-made dress, Meg was still wearing black clothes because of her grief over Martha's death. 

He contemplated the two women with sadness, James knew that they were both part of his life, but held the wrong positions in his heart. Angelina, his childhood friend, had become his wife, while Meg, his true love, seemed a stranger. 

He married Angelina for fear of facing his feelings for Meg, he believed that this youthful passion would fade with time. He was wrong. If he had been brave enough to declare his feelings and face his mother's surprise, perhaps today he would be happy at Meg's side. However, his cowardice had doomed him and the two women to a lonely life.  

 "How are you two?" he asked looking directly at Meg, who looked away quickly.  

"We're great," Angelina replied. 

There was a tension in the air, the kind that no one talks about, but everyone could feel. 

"Meg and I are getting along super well. We're even looking like sisters," Angelina continued, trying to dispel the tense atmosphere.  

"That's great," he replied, still looking a little uncomfortable.  

Angelina took the opportunity to add: "Meg, it's been thirty days, your mourning period is over, since you weren't the legitimate daughter of Miss Martha," Angelina said. 

A sepulchral silence settled over the room. Some truths should never be spoken aloud, this was one of them.  

Meg smiled embarrassed and stood up. Excuse me. I'll see if I'm needed in the kitchen.

James followed her with his gaze until she disappeared down the hall. 

"James, my dear, I've been thinking, perhaps we shouldn't pressure Meg to marry William," Angelina said, putting her embroidery aside and looking worried. "It should be her decision." 

"What made you change your mind?" asked James, looking confused.  

"I wanted her to have the same luck I had, in marrying a wonderful husband.  

"I wish for her happiness too, but I promised Mom I would marry her to William."  

 James felt the weight of her words. 

"Honey, your mother wanted her happiness too, but I don't know if she will be happy in an arranged, loveless marriage," Angelina said, feigning compassion for Meg's predicament. 

"This subject has been keeping me up at night." 

Angelina smiled and went back to embroidering. 

                                                                  // 

Meg helped the maids with some household chores and felt uneasy about the future. She wondered if she could also get a job and have her own money. 

"Louise, why do you work here?" asked Meg curiously. 

"What kind of question is that? I work because I need money," Louise replied. 

"But do you enjoy it?" insisted Meg. 

"Mrs. Campbell, she's always been a very generous employer, I have nothing to complain about." 

"I wanted to work too. I know a lot of women are working in factories now." 

That statement drew laughter from Louise.

James came into the kitchen interrupting the conversation, he looked like he was carrying a burden on his shoulders. He asked Meg to serve him some tea in the study. Meg felt her heart race in his presence, but tried to cover it up. 

 As she poured the hot drink into her cup, she felt his eyes on her, as if he could read her innermost thoughts, as if he could see into her heart.  

"Were you hurt?", James asked, breaking the tense silence that hung in the air. 

"With what?" replied Meg, trying to disguise the emotion she felt. 

"With what Angelina said," he replied. 

She looked him in the eye.  

"I can't be hurt by the truth. Lady Martha is not my blood mother. So, it's okay." She sighed. "There was a time when I wished with all my heart that we were brother and sister, but today.... 

 Meg restrained herself as she realized she was about to declare herself. 

"But today? "he insisted.  

She moved her mouth several times, without making a sound, the words just wouldn't come out. He held her by the arms bringing her close to him, their bodies glued together. Meg felt James's warm breath and lost herself in his brown eyes. Her heart was beating so hard and fast it felt like it would explode at any moment. 

"James," she whispered, not knowing what to say.  

He looked into Meg's eyes and saw a strange spark glow. 

"Meg, I don't want you to marry William," he confessed. 

"James, I..." 

Meg was speechless, her feelings were confused and contradictory, she wished she could run out and get away from him as fast as possible, but she wished she could stay there forever too. 

There was a knock at the door. One of the maids interrupted the magical moment to announce that William Barton was in the room. With a slight sigh, James left his office, leaving her alone with her thoughts.

"I wasn't expecting you so soon. I heard you were in the country," murmured James, as he approached. 

"My dear friend, how nice to see you," William replied. 

Noticing the uneasiness that hung in the air, James tried to dissipate the tension: 

"William, I bought some new cigars. They are in the office, wouldn't you like to try them?"  

"Of course, my dear friend, later." 

James then sat down and invited his friend to do the same. 

"Won't you join me in managing your father's business?"  

"Not while I can help it, but he has you, doesn't he? Sometimes I think you are more his son than I am," William replied with a wistful tone. 

"I lost my father early, he felt responsible to be a male figure present in my life." 

Meg watched the interaction between James and William as she hid in the doorway of the room.  

"Miss Margaret, you look lovely as always. Join us," William smiled seductively at her, like a good lie.   

"Your kindness," she replied cheerlessly.   

But Angelina entered the room at that moment, very astute, she realized that a break was needed in that tense atmosphere, she suggested: 

"The day is very nice. Why don't we take the opportunity to take a walk in the garden?" 

James hesitated, but Angelina whispered in his ear: 

"They need to talk," she said, pulling her husband by the hand. 

The four friends walked through the gardens, Meg and William in the front, Angelina and James a little behind, but Meg was annoyed. She didn't want to talk about her marriage to William or about the future. Her thoughts and feelings were in conflict, and she couldn't stop thinking about James.

Moreover, she felt suspicious about William's true intentions. She suspected that there was something more behind his proposals. There were too many girls of the same social class as his for him to marry. 

"Meg, I'd like to apologize to you, I was very insensitive. You have just lost your mother and I wanted to ask you to marry me. Please forgive me." 

Meg was not as naive as everyone believed. She sensed that there was something wrong in the whole story.  

"You are forgiven," she smiled uneasily. "William, I never understood why you want to marry me? And please don't tell me that was Lady Martha's wish." 

He picked a flower from the garden and handed it to her who accepted the flower awkwardly.  

And why wouldn't I want to marry you?   

"I am an orphan, alone in the world, with no money and no family. 

William let out a deep sigh. "It's true. My father is no longer giving me money and I need resources to maintain my lifestyle. But I admit that I have been selfish and insensitive. It would be a marriage of convenience, a mutually beneficial arrangement." 

Meg felt a tightening in her chest upon hearing his words. While it was true that her situation was not ideal, she refused to be used as a business transaction. She longed to marry for love, not just for independence.  

"I'm sure many women would eagerly accept your proposal, but I refuse to marry for convenience. I want to marry for love," Meg replied, finally feeling a sense of relief.