4

AVA

I stare at the closed door, wrapping my arms around myself. I can hear the echo of his footsteps fading down the stairs.

It hurts. It really hurts to see him leave like that. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t have sex with him, not now. I don’t think I’m ready to lose my virginity, the timing just doesn’t feel right.

I want my first time to be special like in those romance novels I've always read and obsessed over, where the male lead is perfect and gentle and the moment is just magical. I want my first time to be something I choose, something I actually want not just because someone else does. Is that too much to ask?

I hear the sound of the engine and rush to the window, his car is already pulling out of the compound. I wish he'd change his mind and come back to me and listen to my side of things.

Luke and I… we’ve been dating for six months. Yes, my parents introduced us. And sure, our families are tied up in some business deal, and my mom kind of nudged me to give him a chance. Maybe at first, I said yes more for them than for me. But it’s not just that. I like Luke. I really do. He is put together, respected, from a good family and he is not reckless like my brother.

He’s my first real boyfriend too. I care about him and I want this to work.

If I stay in this room any longer, I’ll keep thinking about Luke and wonder if I was right or wrong for saying ‘no’ even though deep down, I know I’m not wrong. The more I sit here, the more I spiral. I swear, I might actually lose my mind.

Being around Zade doesn’t sound so bad right now. Messing with him, arguing like we always do, maybe that is exactly the kind of distraction I need right now. With that, I get up and head downstairs.

As I make my way downstairs, getting closer to the living room, I hear voices. One of them is my brother's but the other one? It's too familiar, it comes out calm and smooth.

My palms start to sweat. I pray it's not who I think it is. Wait, what am I even thinking? Why would he be here? What the hell would Zade be doing with him, in our living room? I think I've heard that voice too many times today, that's why I'm imagining crap.

I hit the last step and freeze. The voice wasn’t just in my head. It’s him, standing in my living room, talking to my brother like he belongs here. The universe seriously has it out for me because how the hell have I crossed paths with Kai Cooper twice today and now he’s in my house.

Both of them turn when they notice me standing there. I don’t even glance at the one who let him into our house, my eyes are locked on him. His ocean-like eyes pierce right through me and all of a sudden, I feel weak in my knees. The way he looks at me…I can’t even hold his gaze.

I tear my eyes away and turn to my brother. “I want to talk to you,” I blurt out. “Now, Zade.”

I rush into the study, tucked just to the right of the living room, and Zade follows close behind.

“What the hell is Kai Cooper doing here?” I ask, trying to keep my cool.

“He’s here to pick me up. We’re going somewhere tonight,” Zade replies, a line forming between his brows.

“Since when are you two friends? And what do you think Mom and Dad are going to say about your new little friendship with the boy next house?” I ramble, the words tumbling out fast.

“Mummy, chill,” He pauses, his voice laced with that familiar sarcasm. “I don’t care what Mom and Dad are going to say. I’m not like you who is so obsessed with their opinions.”

That last part stings but I won’t let it show. That is the card he always pulls out when I try to call him out.

“Zade, you know about Kai Cooper and his reputation. You shouldn’t be hanging out with him, let alone building any kind of relationship. He’s bad news.”

“If he’s bad news, then what does that make me?” He shoots back.

I give a half shrug. “ I don’t know. You’re just in your rebellious phase or whatever and that’s exactly why you shouldn’t be around someone like Kai. You -”

Zade cuts in. “ You should stop being so damn judgey. I know you try to be perfect all the time to impress Mom and Dad, but don’t bring that shit to me.”

“I’m gonna go to my room, change, and head out with Kai. If you feel like snitching, go ahead. I don’t care,” He walks away.

I follow him but he is already halfway to his room. I'm now alone in the living room with Kai. Great.

When did this so-called friendship even start? I can’t remember Zade ever being in the same friend group as him, not even close. So how did this happen? And when? God, if my parents find out Zade is hanging around with Kai Cooper, he is going to be in serious trouble.

Without thinking, I walk toward Kai, stopping a few inches from him. I don’t know if it’s his eyes or just him, but I don’t like the way he looks at me or maybe the way it makes me feel. His gaze moves over me slowly and it makes me too aware of what I am wearing - my nightgown.

I swallow hard. “Where are you taking Zade?” I question.

Kai raises an eyebrow. “Why are you saying it like I’m dragging your brother away against his will?”

“You know exactly what I mean.”

“Say it again.”

I obey. “Where are you going with Zade?”

“Good,” He mutters. “As for your question, that’s between Zade and me.”

“You have to tell me. I have a right to know where my brother is going with you.”

Kai shrugs. “I am pretty sure Zade wouldn’t want me telling you that. Perhaps you should’ve asked him you know, before yelling at him for wanting to go out with ‘bad news.’”

Damn, he heard everything I said in the study. Well I don’t care. I wasn’t exactly wrong about him being bad news.

“I think you should work on lowering your hearing range or something,” I say. “Might help you avoid things you’re not supposed to hear, especially the things that might hurt.”

“You think I'm hurt?”

“Are you not hurt that I think of you as bad news, or are you just pretending not to be?”

Kai steps in closer and his scent hits me - fresh, rich and forbidden. I hate how good he smells. It is the one nice thing about him.

“Ava,” He pauses, waiting for me to meet his eyes. “I don’t care what you think about me.”

I part my lips to say something but before any word escapes, the sound of footsteps behind us cuts in.

I step back and turn toward Zade who's already dressed and ready to leave.

“I’m going with you,” I blurt out.

His eyes widen. “Hell no. You’re not.”

I fold my arms. “Zade, I’m not asking.”

When I am actually being headstrong, my brother knows better than to argue.

“Fine. Whatever.” Zade rolls his eyes, throwing his hands up. “Fuck, just go change.”

“ Trust me, where we are headed is too messy for someone like you, little miss perfect,” I hear Kai say behind me.

“ Don't call me that,” I snap not turning to face him.