chapter 4

As she came onto the plush carpet, circling her arm around her father's, the heels echoed against the polished marble floor. A chandelier of a thousand glittering diamonds seemed to hang above the crowded guests of this ornate hall in a warm, golden glow. Delicate white roses and ivy adorned the aisle as every step brought her closer to the altar. Shawn was standing there, with his well styled short black hair, poised in his white suit, fitting his athletic build perfectly. She couldn't look at Shawn; who was throwing a bright smile in her direction, she couldn't bear all the love and trust in his eyes, knowing what she had done.

"Dad… I'm scared," Eva whispered, shaking from the heaviness of her thoughts.

He smiled proudly and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "You look perfect, my darling. You'll do great. Shawn's waiting for you, he's a good guy. You have no reason to be scared, dear."

She forced a smile, the words like an emptiness in her mouth. They reached the front, and then, his piercing green eyes met hers blue ones, and for one brief second, the gnawing in her stomach dissipated. His eyes shone as if he had waited for this moment all his life-the soft smile playing on his lips seemed to say, ‘Finally.’

Shawn moved closer, his hands reaching out to take hers, warm, firm in their touch. "You look… amazing," he hushed with his mouth full of wonder.

"Thank you," Eva whispered in reply as she tried to steady her breath. “So do you.”

The priest beamed at either of them and went on with the ceremony, while Eva's mind was several miles away, snug inside a whirlwind of emotions. Shawn continued staring at her as they exchanged vows, each word tied with a knot in their stomachs.

"I, Shawn Darlington," he began in that poetic intonation, "take you Ava Wadsley to be my lawfully wedded wife, for better or worse, in sickness and health, I vow to stand by thy side, to love you, cherish, honor, and protect you for now and forever."

The words hit Eva like a ton of bricks, making her heart flip in her chest. ‘He loves me, but I am not even the woman he thinks I am.’

“I…” she swallowed before she continued. “Ava Wadsley,” her voice cracked in the words. "I take you, Shawn Darlington, to be my lawfully wedded husband. I promise to stand by your side, share your joys, and ride out life's storms with you. I give you all of me, now and forever."

The priest smiled. "By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

Shawn pulled her into his arms, and the world was still as their lips connected. She kissed him back, but in her mind she screamed to pull away, to stop faking, but her heart betrayed her. This wasn't some act anymore. The way he held her spoke volumes for itself, his hands so tender, cupping her face. And the kiss went deeper until they finally pulled away and the room erupted in applause.

Next door, the reception in the ballroom was in full blast, packed with people. A sight for sore eyes: the cascading crystal chandelier, the white and gold drapes, the long tables complemented by the very elegantly set centerpieces of white roses, peonies, and soft greens. Softly serenading, a string quartet played as the guests swirled around the room, their glasses of champagne in their hands.

Screaming their way into applause down the aisle, into the reception, were the bride and groom. Eva smiled, her tummy turning inside with guilt as she sat next to Shawn at the head table. With every step taken, her mind volleyed, thinking the people surrounding her could see right through her, that they could feel the lie in the air.

Shawn leaned into her, his voice a whisper against her ear. "You don't know how much I anticipated this day. I feel so lucky to have you"

Eva's smile faltered. She only nodded and gave a short reply. “Me too.”

Food came and speeches were made. Shawn and Eva both gave sweet toasts; though Eva's voice quivered as she raised her glass. She had to get through this. She could not crack now-not when everything was falling into place.

"To new beginnings," Shawn said, his eyes never leaving hers. "To love, to joy, and to the future together.”

"To love," Eva whispered, clinking her glass against his.”

The reception spilled in every direction-the laughter, the dancing guests-one merry sight. Eva held it together as Shawn continuously stole kisses whenever he could and pulled her into his arms every chance he got. And with every press of his lips, the heavier her secret weighed inside her heart.

The smile that came upon Eva as her first dance finally began seemed stuck, although at almost every moment it felt like it was going to break. Soft music enveloped them; Shawn held her close and swayed their bodies to perfect rhythm. He had not noticed the stiffness in her or how far away her thoughts were, for he was blind to everything else but this moment they shared-the promises they had both given.

“Mmm, this is like a dream," Shawn whispered while his face was close enough to hers. "I never knew this day could turn out so perfect. I look forward to the rest of our lives together."

It wrung painfully at Eva's heart, and she was fighting the oncoming tears that threatened to spill. ‘I'm lying to him. I'm lying to everyone. What if he finds out the truth?’

Music swirled around them, a blur of movement and laughter and rejoicing. Shawn pulled her close, stealing another kiss, and she kissed him back, her chest tight. He seemed so confident, so certain this was the way things were supposed to be."

The next thing Shawn knew he was whirled from the staff by a circle of his acquaintances and coworkers congratulating him with handshakes and hoots. All she really needed was an excuse to retreat backward; her feet were killing her in the frail heels the job demanded. She slipped into a quiet corner beside the bar, hoping at least for a moment all to herself, just to breathe and figure out a way to make it through this night intact.

She was in deep thought, she would have to continue the masquerade, acting Ava, keeping on pretending that somehow, someway it would all fall into place. Perhaps if she could only just make it long enough, Shawn would never find out the truth.

She let out a heavy sigh and hoped the storm brewing inside of her would somehow subside. She could do this. She had to.

The moment she had begun to breathe, telling herself she was strong enough for this, suddenly, she heard a familiar voice behind her

"Eva?"

“Yes.” She turned around and stiffened, looking directly into her mother's eyes, whose face was etched with confusion and concern.

“Shit! What did I just do?”