I didn’t know how long I sat by the door, but from the moment the doorbell rang, I didn’t hesitate in jumping up and opening it. “Chanel!”She smiled as she hugged me. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have left you like that at the Prom. I never knew. Why didn’t you tell me?”“Because I didn’t want to ruin Prom for you.”She pulled back and said, “You kidding me? You didn’t want to ruin Prom for me.”I nodded as I ushered her into the house and then closed the door behind her. “You’ve been sitting here in the dark. Adele, why are you doing this alone?”I couldn’t tell her that I did part of it with a complete stranger. She wouldn’t understand, part of me wondered if I knew what was going on right then. Everything seemed to be out of my hands, and the craziness seemed to be taking it over because I felt as if I was someone different. A person that I’d never been faced with was coming out of me, and I didn’t like it. Not one bit. “And your mom, does she know?”I shook my head and then laughed nerv
Mom could have taken around twenty minutes to come home. It could have been longer. The moment she came through the door and she saw Chanel and I on the sofa, she ran to me. “Adele, what’s wrong? You sounded weird on the phone and then Liam’s acting strange too.”I didn't want to tell her or dramatize the situation, but I’d been repeating how this whole thing was going to go. The moment she walked through the door and into my arms, I lost courage to do it. Literally. I’d been visualizing how the talk was going to go and every single time that I replayed it in my head, it ended up badly. That was when I noticed it, as she cupped my face with her hand. A ring. An engagement ring.I took her fingers from my face, as the rough edges stroked it. “Mom is this what I think it is?”She nodded, but then hesitated as she said, “Yes, Henry proposed last night. He cooked dinner and I had no idea.”“But you haven’t even been going out that long. How could you?”She shook her head. “I thought
I couldn’t fucking believe my life right now. Everything seemed to go from bad to worse in a flash and I knew that it was my fault. I couldn’t fucking deny it. I should have banged down the door and told Adele to let me in, instead of running away like a chicken. The thing that I was good at doing all the fucking time. I took a deep breath thinking about the fact that I let Chanel do my dirty work. A ride on the bike. A sip of Dad’s beer in the fridge didn’t get rid of the nerves. And the last thing I wanted to do was talk to Dwayne. I knew what he would say about it. That I was an idiot and had a way of taking everything for fucking granted. I knew that, I just didn’t feel like being told the obvious. Not today. Not the way that I was feeling. “What the fuck?” Dwayne spat out as I was just about to hop on my bike. I gathered that Dad was with Laurie, which was the best thing, because then I would stand up like a man and tell them all the truth at the same time.I wasn’t really in
I made up my mind, which didn’t mean that things were going to be easy.I rode my bike over to Adele’s place. I thought about what to tell her the whole ride. If the way hadn't been so well lit by street lights, with few cars on the road, I might have crashed because I was so fucking distracted. A small corner of my mind even thought it would be a relief, because it would be some escape out of the situation.But I’m not escaping anymore. I can't keep being a fucking coward. I’m going to face this head on, and I need to get Adele to listen to me.I knew it wouldn’t be easy. She’d been really mad at me, and I couldn’t even blame her.Not too long later, I stood at Adele’s door. I didn’t knock, or ring the bell right away, because I was frozen on her doorstep. I’d arrived, but fuck it, I still didn’t know what I was going to say to her! I turned away from her door and paced down the short driveway, looking up and down the street. I wasn’t leaving, just…taking deep breaths to calm myself
After standing in front of her door for too long, I went back home, and went to my room, leaving the lights off. I just lay on my side on the bed, staring off into space. I wasn’t sure when I fell asleep, but the next thing I knew, I was opening my eyes and my room was brightly lit. The first thing I thought of, was what happened when I went to see Adele.I haven’t resolved anything.Why did I even bother going to her place if I was going to give up that easily? I should have been more insistent. I’d made up my mind, damn it! So why did I suddenly shut down when she said she could do it on her own without me? It was the fate I’d left her to, but it wasn’t something I could allow, was it?Get off your ass and go over there, then!But, my body wouldn’t move. I felt exhausted myself. I’d fallen asleep in my jeans, t-shirt and jacket. I’d at least taken off my shoes, but I didn’t have the comforter on me. I shifted around the bed, just enough to get the covers over me, then I closed my ey
I didn’t want to go back to my room. I was still wearing yesterday’s clothes, I hadn’t taken a shower or brushed my teeth. But I went outside, got on my bike, and just rode. I stopped by a store to buy something to eat, not sure how long I’d be staying out before I headed home. I just knew I didn’t want to see my dad.The spot was usually empty, almost no one ever went there. I was at this empty lot that gave way into a grassy field and some trees off in the distance. I parked my bike on the gravel, then walked all the way to the tree cover. There weren’t that many anyway, but I stopped by the closest one and plopped down at its base, the bag with my snacks beside me.For a moment, I just sat there, staring off into space and actually trying to think. I gave up eventually, sighing and leaning my head back against the tree.Fuck. How many days has it been since everything went to shit? I thought.I reached for the bag beside me and demolish the few snacks I’d bought, just some cookies
I don’t know how long we sat there, but it was done in companionable silence. I didn’t know what else to say, and Adele was nice enough to just sit there with me after what I’d done to her.I don’t deserve someone this wonderful, I thought to myself.“Liam?”I looked up, a little startled when Adele called my name out of nowhere. She was staring straight ahead with her lips pursed and this distracted expression on her face. She didn’t say anything for a long moment, but then she turned to me.“Are you serious about looking for the surrogate?” she asked.Her expression was completely serious, and I decided I wouldn’t take the question lightly. I thought about it, seriously.What good could come of knowing who it was? Probably nothing. They’d obviously moved on, if they hadn't tried to at least get to meet me. For all I knew, it could have happened at some point and Dad just hadn't mentioned that part, but that was probably just wishful thinking. I shouldn’t be raising my own hopes so c
We checked into the hotel. I picked up the keys to our room, and Adele and I went over to the elevator. I pressed on one of the buttons to bring the elevator down, then looked down at Adele.“Are you still with me?” I asked, tentative.She looked up at me with a smile, though it looked a little strained around the edges.“I’m not changing my mind,” she said, and it almost sounded like a Promise.We both looked up as one of the elevator doors opened. A few people got out, and Adele and I got inside, alone. Adele and I had space separating us, but as soon as the doors closed, I was hyperaware that I wasn’t alone in the elevator. My heart was beating so fast and hard, I could swear I heard it in my ears, and she probably did, too. I peeked at her out the corner of my eye, and she was standing there with her arms wrapped tight around herself. I would have thought she was uncomfortable, but I noticed how she kept throwing looks at my body that would have had me smirking any other time, bu