Chapter 5- Second betrayal

“I need time,”

I said, before he could say anything else. “I’ve had six hours of information I didn’t ask for, and I can’t take in one more thing tonight. I need to just breathe. Think. Alone.”

He nods “that’s fair”

I reached for the door handle again, and this time nothing stopped me, until his voice caught me halfway through it.

“Ms. Noelle.”

I turned, bracing for whatever this was. He pulled out a card walking towards me, I watched him as he placed a card into my hand . His scent flooded my senses, it was then when I looked up to him I realized how tall he was.

“That’s my personal card. I have a guest wing at my house, private, its own entrance if you want it. You wouldn’t have to see me if you didn’t want to. I’m rarely even home before midnight most days. I just thought it would be more comfortable than a hotel, or going back somewhere that doesn’t feel safe anymore.”

For a second, the offer almost sounded reasonable enough to consider. Then I remembered who was offering it, and why.

“I didn’t know you could make such an offer to a stranger” I said “but I’m not something you can manage. I’ll take care of myself”

“I know that.” His voice stayed even. “It wasn’t meant to fix anything. “I just didn’t want you going back to a house you don’t feel safe in anymore.”

I smiled sadly realizing it. I must have told him I was divorced for him to make a statement like that “I have somewhere to go,” I said, even though I wasn’t sure that was true anymore. “Thank you, but no.”

He didn’t argue. He just nodded once, like he’d expected the answer and respected it anyway and let me leave.

Immediately I did, it was like I could finally breathe, I quickly made my way to the car to regroup myself, my hand found its way to my belly again “I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you’re okay” I promised my growing baby.

Everything may be a mess now, but hopefully it will work out. But for now I need to focus on my health, regardless of everything I will make sure my baby is okay.

The drive home blurred past in a way I couldn’t remember afterwards, the streetlights, a red light I might have run, the ache behind my eyes from crying too much and an overload of information in too short a span of hours. The porch light was on when I pulled into the driveway. So was the living room lamp.

I sat in the car for a second, staring at it. I hadn’t left any lights on. I was sure of that, but then again probably Trent was back

I let myself in quietly, half-expecting an intruder or Trent probably busy in the kitchen but instead I found his jacket thrown over the back of the couch. His shoes by the door. And laughter, but it wasn’t just his, but a soft familiar laughter as well coming from the kitchen.

I don’t know what made me keep walking instead of turning around. Maybe the same stubborn thing that had made me chase Ines down a hallway that morning or the faith I had in Trent that he was just having a guest over.

Trent was leaning against the counter, a glass of wine in his hand, mid-laugh at something the woman across from him had said, then my stomach sank when I saw them kissing.

Josie.

My best friend since college. The one who’d sat with me when I told her about my failed round of IVF, who’d held my hand in waiting rooms, who’d told me a few weeks ago that Trent didn’t deserve me and I should leave him before he broke my heart worse than he already had.

She saw me first. Her face went white.

“Noelle—”

Trent turned, and for a moment none of us moved, like we were waiting for someone else to admit what this was so we wouldn’t have to say it out loud.

“You told me she left already” Josie whispered angrily and I couldn’t believe my ears

“I–“

“Is that why you were eager to be divorced because you had her?” The question left my mouth before I could process it. I looked at Josie, waiting for her to deny it, to have some explanation that made this survivable. She didn’t. She just stood there, arms wrapped around herself, looking anywhere but at me.

“How long,” I said.

Neither of them answered.

“How long, Josie.” I was about to snap “Noelle, let me expl—”

“How. Long.”

“Four months,” she said, so quietly I almost didn’t catch it.

Four months. Longer than I’d been pregnant. Longer than the last two failed IVF rounds she’d cried with me over, like she hadn’t already known exactly why my marriage was falling apart before I did.

I didn’t cry. I didn’t yell. Something in me had simply run out of the capacity for either.

“Get out of my house,” I said. “Both of you.”

Trent opened his mouth like he might argue, took one look at my face, and thought better of it.

“Let’s go, I can’t deal with this”

I stood in my kitchen alone for a long time after the door closed behind them, staring at an abandoned glass of wine on my counter, and thought about a private guest wing in a house that wasn’t mine either but at least it was secluded and no one had lied to me, and I get to be away from this and away from Trent.

If he could be selfish, why can’t I? I picked up my phone and the card Dorian gave me not caring if I looked desperate or not.

“I’ve changed my mind”, I typed. “If the offer still stands”

The reply came faster than I expected.

“It does. I’ll send a car.”