⊰ 3 ⊱ Heartbeats in a Glass Office

It’s as if the world has stood still and time’s been frozen. 

With my breath caught in my lungs and my heart thumping loudly in my ears, my eyes gloss as a 6-foot-tall, lean, muscular Cade approaches Krina and I. The familiar scent of his favorite cologne—Creed’s Royal Oud—a scent I once found comfort in, now making my stomach churn.

“Good morning,” he says softly, his voice as deep as I remember, as he brings his black thermo cup up to his lips. In his navy blue suit, white button-up shirt and navy blue tie, he stands before us, looking at Krina. He nods at her as he takes a sip of what I assume is coffee before he shifts his gaze to meet my own.

“Oh! She’s the new junior engineer that Jeremy hired months ago. She just moved here from Florida,” she tells him, pausing momentarily with a thoughtful look on her face. 

“Hey…aren’t you from Florida? Ha! Small world, I guess…” her voice trails off.

Cade arches a brow at her, chuckling softly. “Well, welcome to the team, Miss…?”

He doesn’t even remember me…

I swallow hard, forcing a smile on my face as I take his hand, shaking it gently. “Elys is fine,” my voice is just above a whisper. 

He nods with affirmation, reiterating, “Welcome to the team, Elise. I’ll introduce you to the rest of the team at our 9 o’clock meeting.”

With this, he offers Krina a small smile and excuses himself, continuing his steady strides to his office.

My eyes follow him instinctively, holding him through the window-wall as he settles himself in the office positioned directly across from my desk. Memories flood back, unbidden. Late night car rides, stolen kisses between red lights, promises and sweet nothings he’d whisper in my ear.

Then, the letter.

I’m gonna be sick…

“Krina, where’s the restroom?” My voice hardly sounds like my own, quavering ever-so-slightly.

She nods down the hall while gazing at the computer monitors in front of her, muttering, “Down the way Cade came from. First door on your left.”

Balling the front of my shirt in my fist, I bite my lip in my desperate attempt to not embarrass myself on my first day here. 

Just as Krina said, I quickly approach the light gray door with the ‘Ladies’ sign on it. I hardly have time to process it, but by the time I realize it, I’m hacking into the toilet with teary eyes.

This cannot be happening. This cannot be happening.

Of all the scenarios I had imagined for my first day, this wasn’t one of them. The cold porcelain of the toilet seat bites into my skin as I try to catch my breath, my mind reeling.

There really isn’t much to part ways with, and I’m suddenly grateful that all that I had for breakfast was a protein shake and a few sips of water. 

What am I gonna do..?

My mind keeps racing as I kick-flush the toilet, and for the next round of minutes, I stand utterly still, hidden between the stalls.

I don’t know what’s worse: he doesn’t remember me or he’s put me so far at the back of his mind that he couldn’t recognize me even though he was looking me dead in the eye. 

I have changed a lot since…maybe…

I sigh in irritation, shaking my head as I let myself out of the bathroom stall and walk over to the counter to rinse my mouth. My hand reaches to the paper towel dispenser, taking a sheet and drying the tears from my eyes.

I need to talk to someone…tell somebody.

Tossing the paper towel in the trash can, I reach for my phone from my pocket with my unoccupied hand and navigate to the texting app. 

Ava.

“Can I call you during my lunch break?”

She doesn’t take longer than a couple of seconds, texting me back, “Ofc. Ttyl!”

A soft sigh parts my lips as I shake my head and slide my phone back into my pocket. 

It’s gonna be fine. Everything is going to be fine.

But I don’t actually feel like it’s going to be fine. When I return to my seat, I can’t help but look up every couple of minutes, wondering if maybe he’ll eventually remember and he’ll double-take.

He never does. From the moment I sit back down to the last 5 minutes of the 4th hour, all he does is take calls and click through his computer. When he does breakaway, it’s only to walk to the conference room to prepare for the team meeting he mentioned earlier.

“Come on,” Krina says as she disconnects her laptop from the docking station, taking it in her hand as the other reaches for her thermo cup. “You can follow me to the conference room,” she adds as she straightens on her feet.

Following her lead, I take my laptop with me and walk beside her as she guides us around the corner, to the end of the hall and into the large room with the long table and multiple chairs. Cade is already standing at the front of the room with his laptop connected to the projector of the presenting screen.

As Krina takes the seat next to the foot of the table, she motions for me to take the seat beside her. “That way, you’re hard to miss,” she jests as she lowers herself onto her seat.

Yeah… I feel pretty small right now.

I fixate my gaze on my screen, afraid that if I look up, I’ll make eye contact with Cade. 

As more and more of the members of our team trickle in, I feel myself growing smaller. The senior engineers sit beside Krina, down the row as the two mid-level engineers sit across from them. Beside me, the other junior engineer that I’ve had the pleasure of speaking to on the online chat: Mateo.

“Hey, I’m Mateo,” he whispers with a smile on his face as he lowers himself to the empty seat next to me.

“It’s nice to meet you,” I offer him a small smile as I nod, offering him my hand.

He takes it, shaking it firmly as he says, “Welcome to the team.”

“Thanks…” my voice trails off, and in the next moment, Cade suddenly clears his throat, calling for the attention of the room.

“Good morning, Team,” he begins. “I want to kick off the meeting by introducing the newest member of our team: Elise.”

He gestures to me, heads turning to look at me with smiles on their faces and light, scattered claps. 

“Please, introduce yourself,” he urges me with a hand gesture.

Oh, no…

I’m reluctant, my gaze shifting between each of the engineers as I say, “Hi, I’m Elysian Reign, junior engineer. You can call me Elys. I’m excited to be part of the team.”

Short and sweet. Good.

A shaky breath passes my lips as I avert my sight to Cade. 

The subtle stunned look in his eyes goes unnoticed by the rest of them, his falter only obvious to me as he clears his throat once more and hesitantly taps on the projector’s screen in his attempt to mask his surprise. 

Now, he remembers me.

“Alright, so there’s been a new federal mandate. As contractors for the NSA, we’re starting a new project for the migration of IPv6…”

Every word coming out of his mouth becomes obsolete at the ringing in my ears. I wish I could say that the reason I’m sitting here, absent-minded, is because I have a lot on my mind. But truth be told, I don’t have a lot on my mind. In fact, there’s nothing on my mind. It’s utterly blank, and no matter how hard I try to pay attention, I can’t. 

I feel overwhelmed, the technical jargon washing over me. I try to focus on the presentation, but my eyes keep drifting to him, searching, waiting for something—anything.

I’m as happy as I possibly can be in this state when Cade finally concludes his meeting, saying, “Alright team, let’s get to work.” 

He pauses for a moment, my eyes flickering to him briefly as he looks over at Krina, asking her, “Krina, can you stay behind for a few minutes?”

“Of course!” Krina responds eagerly as I take my laptop and make my way out of the conference room.

I don’t realize that I’m holding my breath until Mateo catches up beside me, asking, “Hey Elys, got any plans for lunch? It’s tradition to take the newest member of the team out for a team lunch on their first day.”

I stammer, turning my head to look at his soft features. “O-Oh, I…I actually do, sorry.”

“No worries!” He’s genuine, patting me on the shoulder. “Maybe tomorrow!” He turns down the first row of cubicles, finding his seat as I continue my way down the walk-way to my seat, across from Cade’s office.

Just my fucking luck…

It’s just like me to end up with the worst hand in the history of hands, and I have no one to blame but myself. I accepted this job. I signed that 3-year contract. I moved to this city. I picked this seat for the remainder of the quarter. 

I am an idiot.

I inwardly slap myself, angry at myself for not doing what I was told to at every single career fair I’ve ever been to: research the company before you take the job.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Regardless of whether or not I could’ve known that Cade would be replacing the manager that hired me, had I known that this is one of his wretched father’s companies, I would’ve never accepted. In fact, I would’ve declined a million times. 

I’m just gonna jump off the building, tbh.

“Great news!”

The sound of Krina’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts, my gaze shifting to meet her as she lowers herself on her chair. “I’m going to be your mentor. How exciting is that?!” She cheers.

So exciting…

I smile, pretending that I’m not only a fraction of the excited that I would be otherwise, under different circumstances.

“Yay!” I cheer half-heartedly.

She giggles as she sets her laptop down. “Let me know when you’re done with your HR stuff so that we can get you started,” she tells me kindly before returning to whatever it was that she was doing before the meeting.

It’s only a couple of seconds before Cade is back at his desk, only this time, he shoots me a long look, and after what feels like the longest 5 seconds of my life, he averts his gaze to his phone, tapping the screen before bringing it up to his ear.

This is gonna be a very long day…