⊰ 2 ⊱ Ocean Eyes

I groan at the soft instrumental music blasting from my phone, my restless eyes fluttering open. 

I spent the better part of the night tossing and turning, wondering if the man that I saw last night actually was who I think he was.

I’m probably trippin’.

…

I am exhausted…

It’s as though I can feel the bags under my eyes as I pull the teal colored bed sheets from over my body, my unoccupied hand silencing my phone. The heavy sighs that erupt from a sleepy Bubbles laying on his beige orthopedic dog bed makes me side-eye him, wondering what could possibly ale my favorite unemployed freeloader. 

Per usual, I go about my daily routine: feed Bubbles, make the bed, brush my teeth, shower, throw on a pair of boot-cut jeans with a nice long-sleeve blouse, and I put on my eyebrows.

Okay, that’s a little bit of an exaggeration. I’m actually just filling them in.

I lengthen my eyelashes with mascara, brush and blow-dry my shiny, waist-length, black, straight hair while I pray for a frizz-less day. The rose nude crayon lipstick comes on after I slide my glasses back on my face, and finally, I slip into a pair of ankle socks and my favorite classic white Nike Airforce sneakers. 

Just your typical junior Network Security Engineer. 

I smile softly as I look at my reflection in the mirror, pleased with the light pink rims of the glasses that I ordered a couple of weeks ago, complimenting my big, light brown eyes under my wispy bangs. 

Today will be a good day.

“Let’s go, Bubbles!” I call eagerly as I emerge into the light and open living room illuminated by the sunrise shining through the large pair of windows from the balcony’s set of double doors. The sight of the neat and perfect layout of my little apartment fills me with ridiculous contentment as I walk through the living room, the tips of my fingers brushing against the soft, dark gray couch that compliments the carpet and coffee table.

Swiftly, I secure the royal blue collar already attached to the matching leash around Bubbles’ neck, and out the door we go. 5 minutes is all it takes before I’m jogging him back up the flights of stairs. 

One day…one day, I will get up those stairs without running out of breath.

“Alright, bud,” I call between breaths as I grab a protein shake out of the fridge. “I’ll see you later!” I blow Bubbles a kiss as I grab my baby blue backpack and head for the door again.

Sometimes I wish I cared more about taking my sweet time to doll myself up daily than to sleep in, but I save that for special occasions. 

My eyes hover over the lockscreen of my phone, reading ‘6:45AM’. 

Yeah…I’m that person that likes to be on the road before 7AM to beat the traffic. There is nothing more irritating in the world than incompetent drivers, especially when it’s a 30 minute drive to the office.

With excitement, I hop into my 2021 black and white Toyota Camry, start the GPS, and blast my Eminem playlist like a real G driving to her white collar job. 

Driving on an empty highway at the crack of dawn is never as appreciated as it should be. I can’t think of a better way to spend time with your own thoughts. Well, that’s if you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts–which I do, typically.

Today, in particular, unfortunately, all I can think about is last night.

What is the probability of running into your long lost love from college after you move four states over, three years after the break-up?

While the odds are slim, I can’t help but wonder if I’m not wrong in assuming that I actually did run into Cade. 

I’m certain it was written somewhere that I’d meet him in my Vector Calculus class in the first semester of my third year in college, and he would propose to me eight months later. 

The crazy part is that meeting him in class was pure coincidence. He wasn’t a student. I just happened to be in the right room at the right time.

There I stood, in a white v-neck t-shirt tucked into my black high-waisted pleated skirt, fishnet stocking, and black leather dynasty lace-up boots. With my exam in my hand, I walked over to my professor’s—Dr. Olivia Sinclair’s—immediately after she dismissed class.

“What is it now, Elysian?” She arched a brow as she turned to face me, her vibrant ocean blue eyes finding my light brown ones. 

I snickered softly as I laid my exam down on her desk, pointing at the only question she deducted points on—half a point, to be exact—and I made my case, “The work is right here.”

She shot me a long, irritable look, shaking her head at me the next moment. Her eyes glossed over the paper, flashing at the perfectly worked out mathematical problem. “You know, every time you correct me, I’m docking you a letter grade on your final,” she joked softly as she took the exam from the table, flipping it back to the front page. With her red ink pen, she scribbled the ‘99.5’, correcting it to ‘100’. 

“Remind me if I forget to change it on the system,” she tells me as though I wouldn’t remind her if she did.

I was her favorite student, despite how much she liked to tell me I’d be the reason she’d retire early. She was one of the few people I’d met that I could debate with and wouldn’t get angry when I’d win.

“Whatcha got goin’ on today, Dr. O?” I nudged at her as I took my exam from her hand, slipping my backpack from my shoulder to slide the small packet in before zipping it shut.

She smiled softly, the small wrinkles at the corner of her eyes folding slightly. “I’m actually about to head out. Having lunch with my…” Her voice trailed off as the corner of her eye caught movement near the door, her head snapping to the side. My gaze tracked hers, flickering to the doorway. In that moment, my heart stopped.

There he was, a 6-foot-tall, blond man with ocean blue eyes and plumb lips. His sharp jaw was coated with a perfectly trimmed beard that complimented his neatly combed hair and face structure. In blue jeans, classic black converse, a white t-shirt, and black leather jacket, he stood with one hand tucked into his pocket, and his car keys dangling from the other.

As he approached us, it was as though the world around me had disappeared, and for the life of mine, I could tear my eyes away from him. I was mesmerized by him—utterly captivated.

I watched as he walked up to Olivia and hugged her tightly, planting a loving kiss on her cheek that, for a split second, made me envy her. When his arms loosened from around her, she took a step back, her hand touching his back as she motioned to me, saying, “Oh! You showed up right on time to meet the Grade A pain in my ass: Elysian.” My face flushed, a nervous giggle parking my lips as she introduced him, her eyes meeting mine, “Elysian, this is my son, Cade.”

He extended his arm to me, offering me his hand as he smiled softly, greeting me, “Hello, Elysian. It’s nice to finally put a face to the name.”

Sometimes, I still wish I could forget the day I met him. In fact, I wish I could forget him altogether.

A shaky breath parts my lips as I’m forced out of my thoughts, driving into the company’s private garage. Slowly, I creep up to the door, the high-tech scanner catching the toll tag under my rearview mirror. It opens, and just as I drive it, it closes behind me, scanning the next car.

Totally not nervous.

I exhale a deeply as I find the nearest available spot and park. With my heart beating faster by the minute, I turn my car off and reach for my backpack from the passenger seat as I take the protein shake from the cupholder. Sliding it into the side of my backpack, I take my ID badge from the front pocket and hop out of the car.

Here we go…

As I come to a stop before the glass doors of the 12-floor building, my hand reaches for the monitor to scan myself in. It beeps, the doors automatically swinging inward. The cool air that penetrates the thin material of my long-sleeve shirt makes my skin breakout in goosebumps. I walk past the middle-aged, female receptionist on the main floor, down the hall to the silver elevators at the center as I watch people begin to trickle in. 

Chatters linger behind me as I wait for the elevator, my gaze fixated on the marble floor beneath me in my attempt to avoid making any awkward eye-contact.

Why’s the elevator taking so damn long?

The familiar ding brings me more relief than I wish, and I’m quick to step into the condiments of my next ride, pushing the number ‘8’ button, just as the email I received last Friday instructed me to.

As anxious as I am, this feels like the longest elevator ride in the history of elevator rides, so when it finally does ding on the floor that I’m designated to get off at, my heart skips a beat. I try to mask my eagerness by getting off like a normal person and walking to the next set of glass doors to beep myself in again.

As much as I want to, I refrain from pulling up the map of the office on my phone, not wanting anyone to know that I actually have no idea where the hell I’m going. 

I try to seem as nonchalant as possible, eyeing the signs of each of the cubicles until I meet the one I reserved for myself online.

Hope I like it, ‘cause this is where I’ll be until the end of the quarter.

“Well, hello there.”

I’m almost startled by the black haired woman sitting in the chair at the cubicle next to mine. She smiles welcomingly, springing up from her chair in excitement as she introduces herself, “I’m Krina. It’s so nice to finally meet you, Elysian!”

Eww. Why is she here early?

I take her hand as she offers, shaking it as I smile back at her warmly, “Hi! You’re here early.”

I was really hoping I’d be the first one here…

“Oh! Yeah, I like to get here early so I can settle in before the rest of the team gets here,” she tells me as she lowers herself back onto her seat.

I have too much in common with her already.

“How was the move?” She suddenly asks as I set my backpack down on my chair.

“Not too bad,” I respond softly as I unpack my laptop, keyboard, mouse, and mousepad. I’m genuinely glad that it’s not as awkward as I imagined it would be, knowing that I’m terrible at initiating conversation.

It’s the small talk, really. I’m not a fan, so I don’t practice it…thus making me a terrible conversation starter to strangers.

Well, that and my tendency to not give a shit for making friends.

Still, it is nice to meet her. We spoke a handful of times through an online employee-only chat, and for the most part, she seems nice. She’s also not afraid of talking about herself, openly telling me that she moved from India after having studied abroad throughout college about two decades ago. She’s one of the three senior engineers on my team, and also the only woman on the team, apart from myself.

Needless to say…she’s chatty.

After setting my laptop up on the docking station connected to a pair of large monitors, I sit and sip on my protein shake while I wait for my computer to start-up. It was nice to have gotten my equipment shipped to my apartment a week ago. It gave me the opportunity to browse through it after spending the better part of an hour trying to figure out how to login only to call the IT help desk and be told that the computer won’t work without my ID badge.

Yeah, as in, stick it into the slot on the side of the computer.

I also took the opportunity to try to finish all of the HR training crap. A whole week I spent on it and I’m just barely halfway through the incessant, mind-numbing, exasperating videos. 

“Have you met the new manager yet?” Krina suddenly asks in her thick Indian accent.

I hum, shaking my head, “Mm-mm.”

She tsks as she leans back in her seat, telling me, “He is very smart. He just got promoted to lead and manager after transferring from the Cloud Security unit to the Security Networking side.”

Well, that’s a hell of a lot of self-studying, but good for him.

She pauses momentarily, nodding at the private office across from where I sit. “That’s his office right there. His name is Cade Sinclair.”

…

That’s not funny.

My heart drops to my stomach, my mouth going dry as she adds, “He’s very young for where he is too. 31, I think? Not that I think that it has anything to do with his dad owning the parent company, who also owns this company. He’s actually very good.”

It’s a coincidence. That’s all. I’m being paranoid.

And as much as I wish that I were right and not just in denial, I also wish that I had braced myself for the next moment.

“Oh pst,” she nods at the hall, whispering, “Here he comes.”

My eyes snap up and nothing could’ve prepared me for the nauseousness that swallows me the instant that I lay eyes on him. It’s the same beautiful ocean eyes that captivated me, the same perfectly shaped full-lips and neatly trimmed beard that I remember.

My blood runs cold, my eyes widening as Krina exclaims, “Good morning, Cade!”

It’s him…