5. Don't forgive him

It's not going to be easy. But rarely the best things in life are. ~ A. Gupta

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COLE

“Well, I think I shouldn't have been worried. She held herself pretty well on her own.”

I turned around to face Maddox as he stood there on the porch, looking at me with his judgemental, cold blue eyes. I’d already had one Carter brother torment my mind with his fûcking insinuation about what he was going to do with her when they reached her studio and I sure as hell didn't need another one. It was a shock to come to know that my princess was now so grown out of her cocoon that she’s got her own place where she spends nights too whenever she wanted or felt like it. A part of me hated myself that I missed such a big development in her life, the metamorphosis of my broken princess into something stronger and independent. But despite how glad I was for her, I selfishly wanted her to depend on me.

“Like Alex suggested and I totally agree, you should go back, Cole. No one needs you or wants you here any longer.”

“Will you just stop being a fucking arsehole just for one second?” I bit out, my fingers clenching at the back of my nape as I fought the desire to go after them, stalk her and force her to accept my apology.

Mad descended the three steps and came to stand in front of me. His icy blue eyes glared at me as he said, “No. I will not stop. I won’t stop until you fuck off to wherever you came from.”

I rubbed a hand down on my face and said, “I am not going anywhere, not until she forgives me.” I met his eyes as I added, “Until you and everyone forgive me.” He narrowed his eyes, his arms folded tight around his chest. “I mean it, Maddox. I know I made a mistake but I thought it’d be easier this way.”

“Obviously, it wasn’t. It wasn’t just her you betrayed.”

I nodded. “If you will listen, I’m ready to tell you everything.”

He scoffed. “What tells you I don’t know it already?” I met his blue eyes, like hers, cold and unemotional. “Alex knows it all, do you know that?”

I guessed that much after all the texts he started to sent me. I said, “Even if you know I want you to hear it again from me.”

“We will see. I’m not ready to forgive you, yet.” With that he turned around. He was on the door when he paused and looked at me as he said, “Mom wanted me to ask you if you wanna stay here,” He didn’t let me say anything as he continued, “But I told her that she shouldn’t worry, I am sure you’ll be able to sleep a night or two in your car, for however long you’re here.”

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VIOLET

I Woke up to my phone ringing beside me and with a throbbing head. Sitting up, I looked around myself and realised that I had fallen asleep on the small futon in my painting room. I sat up and looked down at my hands, they were covered in dry paints and my fingers ached terribly. I had painted until the early hours of the morning and now my fingers would pay the prize, I could already feel the strain.

But then I forgot about my pain as I looked at the uncovered painting I had finished. Unlike the portraits I had made before, now there were new lines in his face. The changes of two years were visible and also the emotions that weren’t there before. Mine and his. Both had changed.

I looked around the small room, there were so many covered portraits that were of only one man who was the reason for my aching heart but besides him there were others, my family and friends. And then there were my dreams, the one I wanted to fulfil and others that were memories that had haunted me while I had slept but in them I hadn’t painted our faces. And the only person who’d recognise the people in those paintings without seeing their faces was him, and I wasn’t ever going to let him see these. Never. He doesn’t deserve it. They were my emotions, the only thing that had kept me sane when he was gone.

My phone rang again, startling me and I picked it up from where it was on the small table beside the color palette. As I saw the name flashing on the screen, my lips automatically pulled up in a smile and I answered it. “Hey, Good morning.”

“Good morning, Bree.” I answered.

“Are you still asleep? It’s almost noon.”

“Yeah, I went to sleep late. What’s up?”

“I was wondering if you’ll like to come with me for shopping. I need to buy groceries and also wanted to just go out as Mad is going to be at Mom and Dad’s with the boys.”

“Sure. I’ll be there at your house. Give me an hour.”

“Okay, bye.”

I looked down at my phone, wondering why she didn’t say anything about Cole. I’d have thought she’d say something, probably tell me to forgive him as Bree was too forgiving and soft, unlike anyone in the family. And the way I had left Cole, standing there outside Carter house, I don't know.... I just thought he’d have asked for someone’s help and part of me had expected that it’d be Bree who was the only one that could melt at his apologies. But maybe, she wasn’t as soft as she used to be, maybe Maddox had finally toughened her up.

Or... Maybe he realised I wasn’t going to forgive him and he.... Left? Suddenly, my chest tightened to the point that I couldn't breathe at that thought but I dug my nails into my thigh to centre myself and reminded myself that it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t matter. I wasn’t the same girl who had spent days and nights crying, and begging god to bring him back to me. No. I was stronger now, hardened and much better for it.

I looked back down at my phone and saw there were a few text messages waiting for me too. I opened the first one which was from Alex. “I’m coming over, beautiful. Do you want coffee?”

Although there was an espresso in the small kitchenette here, but I still replied back with a yes. Last night, Alex had dropped me and expressed his disappointment at the fact that Cole didn’t follow us. And, I won’t admit that I might've shared that disappointment a little bit. Nope.

I stood up and made my way out of the room, I closed the door behind me and turned the key to lock it. It was a habit now to lock it, I used to do that in the early days when Dad had just rented it for me and back then everyone used to drop by unannounced to make sure I was okay. But now it wasn’t necessary but yet that room had everything my heart feels so I keep it locked.

I scrolled through the next texts, they were from Mad and Daisy and one from Kevin. Daisy has sent me three pics of her new dresses to select from, I tapped one and sent it back. Kevin was asking me if I’ll join him and Hayley for family dinner. I felt rude to deny him, but after what he said to me yesterday I wanted to keep a little distance between us even though that too didn’t feel right where he was concerned.

I opened Mad’s text and couldn’t help but scowl as I read his message. “Don’t forgive him.”

My fingers stabbed the screen as I replied, “I wasn’t going to.”

“Good.” His reply was instant. And then, he sent me a pic, that made me question his sanity. It was a picture of Cole sleeping in his car, outside the Carter mansion.

The fûcking arsehole. First, he told me to not forgive him and now he was sending me a pitiful image of Cole, sleeping in his car. My phone pinged with another text and this one was also from Mad. “His back might be hurting and neck must be strained, but don’t forgive.”

I let out a growl as I typed back. “I will block you.”

And then I controlled the urge to throw my phone across the room and managed to put it down on the low coffee table in the small living room that was also a kitchen space and went to the bedroom at the back of the studio to take a shower and get ready. My clothes were all back at the Carter house but there were a few I kept here in case I spent the night.

So after taking a quick shower, I wore a baggy pair pants in tan color and black top to go with it. When I looked in the mirror, my eyes were little red from my headache and there were dark circles under them. Instead of going out with them, I applied the concealer like Daisy had taught me to hide those dark circles and dabbed a little lip gloss to look better.

I was tying my shoe laces when there was a knock on the door, thinking that it must be Alex with promised coffee, I pulled open the door and froze as I found Cole standing there in front of me.

A. Gupta