CHAPTER 98

"Shit, what time is it?" Beth reached for her cellphone. When she turned it on, it revealed that she had thirty-eight hours remaining until the angel came back with the other horsemen. "I didn't mean to sleep so long."

"You didn't mean to pass out is far more accurate." Lily leaned back and looked over her shoulder. "But I don't blame you, being a new mom and all."

"New mom?" Beth closed her eyes, the events of the previous night rushing through her head. Lily was obviously referring to the living ooze in Mike's bathtub. Shortly after greeting her clone, she had gotten light-headed and asked for some water. The details were fuzzy after that. "Did you carry me to bed?"

"I did. That thing out there sealed your wound, but you had already lost way too much blood to be considered healthy."

"I see." She tried to sit up, the effort making her head pound. "What did I miss?"

"Death and your demon semen had a little chat. Very adorable, by the way. She speaks using ooze noises, bubbles, and snot sounds. Apparently, Death understands her." Lily sat forward, her eyes still on the bathroom. "As far as answers, we don't have many. Your spawn--"

"Can we please call her something else?" She didn't like the constant reminder of her ordeal with Oliver. "Something nicer, maybe?"

"Princess Jellyfish in there doesn't know a whole lot about herself. She has some of your memories, but they're fragmented. Told Death all about her best friend in middle school and a bunch of stuff from your parents' house. Her first real memories seem to be waking up in the tub and seeing you leaning over her."

Beth felt her breath hitch in her throat. "So she's a copy of me?"

"No. Even she admits that much. Apparently, the logical part of you she inherited is smart enough to realize she isn't you. That, and being made out of primordial ooze."

"So nobody knows what she is?"

"Gee, if only I could go to the Library and look it up." Lily rolled her eyes dramatically. "But no. She's an anomaly, which is saying something coming from me. I've seen a bunch of weird shit in my time with Amir and the Society. The stuff in that vial was essentially pure, concentrated essence of demon."

"Demon?" Beth's mouth was suddenly dry.

"Sort of. That windmill motherfucker who showed up and I are both made of the same material. Hard to believe, right?" Lily put her hands under her breasts and jiggled them. "Not only are these tits perfect, but they're nigh indestructible."

Beth pointed at Lily's wounded arm. "I beg to differ."

"Ah. Let's clarify." Lily held up her damaged arm, still sealed beneath Eulalie's webs. "That magic goop of yours is kind of like human stem cells. It can be made into pretty much anything that can potentially exist. I'm a succubus, a lesser demon. I have to follow certain rules. Despite the fact that I am made of the same substance as the Annoyer of Worlds, I have a certain vulnerability to divinity. He outranks me in the hierarchy, ergo he can hurt me."

"So you're only injured...because your cells are programmed that way?"

"Bingo. So when I say he can vaporize my ass into nothingness, I mean it." She shook her head. "Now if I was Oliver, it would be a different story. He was a high-ranking angel back before the Fall. If not for being weakened and trapped inside of mirror land, I suspect he could have bitch-slapped Mecha-Hymen out there all the way back to Daddy's love hut in the sky. Would be quite the spectacle."

Beth giggled. "You're better at nicknames than Tink is."

"Oh, please, that girl is a fucking artist." Lily tapped her horns. "We only get to hear the scrambled shit that comes out of her mouth. After things go back to normal, I might hang around in her head and see if she can teach me a thing or two."

"You can't be serious."

Lily shrugged. "I've discovered that I'm more open to improvement these days. Anyway, back to Oliver. Your loogie love child--"

"No."

"Booger-skinned baby?"

"No."

"Goo-girl?"

Beth sighed and waved her hand. She had a feeling Lily could do this all day if she chose. "Whatever. Please continue."

"Even though she's made of raw material, Oliver was the origin. I worry that somehow this is one of his tricks, and I have no way to tell." Lily crossed her arms. "Death seems to think she's great, but I can't exactly throw in with someone who tried to talk us out of the Apocalypse by discussing his tactics for finding Waldo. We also clearly have an internal affairs issue, and it's so convenient that she appeared when she did."

"Internal affairs?"

"Damn, apparently, some of your brain cells died off, too." Lily moved toward Beth, her eyes still on the bathroom. "Remember that whole 'Tink is under a magic spell and something broke out of the Vault' thing we just went through? Something is loose in the house and I have no idea what."

Beth had actually forgotten about that part. Nearly dying had that effect on her, apparently. "Where are the others?"

"Kisa is watching Tink. Tick Tock is hiding under the bed as a backpack. Cecilia is watching the front yard with Death, apparently they're becoming quite chummy. As for His Highness, I haven't seen him. Or Jenny for that matter." She paused for a second, as if lost in thought. "Or any of the fairies."

"Shit." She moved to get out of bed and groaned, barely managing to sit upright. Her joints hurt, but her head was a mess. It was as though a massive hangover had activated once she moved. "Aspirin first, Reggie and Jenny next."

"I'll get it." Lily walked into the bathroom and Beth heard some cabinets bang. When Lily returned, she was holding pills in one hand and a cup of water in the other. "Your new friend would like to speak to you."