เข้าสู่ระบบแชร์
| 62 | On Bended Knee
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2026-06-17 03:15:32
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I Am Mustafin | 62 | On Bended Knee
My steps echo through empty corridors as I make my way to his office. The time for hiding is over. Between Ciana's son’s fate and the secret growing beneath my heart, I’m running out of options.This is my last chance to make it right before I have to tell him. His office door stands slightly ajar, warm light spilling into the darkened hallway. My hand trembles as I push it wider, the familiar creak making my heart stutter. My gaze lands on his desk, expecting to find him in his chair.But he’s not there.My brows furrow slightly as I enter cautiously, and when I turn to the sofa, my breath catches.Efrem sits there, his usual pristine appearance softened by evening shadows and whiskey. His jacket lies discarded over the back of a chair, tie loose around his neck, shirt sleeves rolled to expose his muscular forearms. The crystal tumbler in his hand is painfully familiar—a sight that has become too normal. An almost-empty decanter sits on the table beside him—evidence this isn’t his f
I Am Mustafin | 61 | Caged Birds
The sound of my own retching echoes off the bathroom walls, familiar now after a week of these forced dinners. My fingers grip the cool porcelain as I empty my stomach of everything I managed to swallow under Efrem’s watchful eye. When the heaving finally stops, I reach over to flush and rest my forehead against the toilet’s edge, trying to remember how to breathe.Seven nights.Seven dinners filled with silence, watching him as he watches me while I perform perfect submission as rage I’m too exhausted to properly feel continues to build.I drag myself up slowly, limbs shaking as I rinse my mouth and splash cold water on my face. In the mirror, my reflection looks haunted—dark circles under eyes, cheekbones sharper than they should be.You can’t keep doing this. The thought lingers as I sink onto the edge of my bed, one hand finding my stomach. Outside my door, I hear the quiet shuffle of Matvey’s shift coming to an end. Soon, the hallways will fall silent—that strange freedom Efrem
I Am Mustafin | 60 | A Hunger for Control
The last of Amara’s pills sits in my palm—small, white, round. One left. Like so many things lately, time feels like it’s slipping through my grasp, options dwindling with each passing day. Soon, my body will betray this secret I’ve been desperately trying to hide. Soon, I’ll have no choice but to tell him.But not tonight.I place the pill on my tongue, washing it down with water that tastes of copper and fear. My reflection stares back at me from the vanity mirror, the silk dress I’ve chosen falling loose enough to hide the subtle changes in my body.But nothing—not even the makeup—can disguise the haunted look in my eyes.Just get through dinner. Whatever this is, just survive it.But survival feels harder lately, more complicated. It’s not just about me anymore—hasn’t been since that desperate night when I begged him to reclaim me, to make me forget a kiss that destroyed everything. Now, every choice carries double weight. Every risk threatens not just my life, but the tiny spark
I Am Mustafin | 59 | The Art of Punishment
Content Advisory: This chapter contains depictions of emotional manipulation, trauma bonding, self-blame, and power dynamics within a toxic relationship. Reader discretion is advised.The ache in my cheek has dulled to a persistent throb, but every time I catch my reflection, the bruising draws my eye like a beacon. Even now, standing in before the bathroom sink after a shower that couldn’t wash away the memory of last night, I find myself touching the tender flesh—not because it hurts, but because I still can’t believe it happened.My fingers trace the edges of the bruise, remembering how his hand felt against my skin. Not the strike itself—that’s still a blur of shock and pain—but the way he grabbed me afterward. The way his fingers found my throat, how even in his fury, something made him pull back.He could have killed me. He wanted to kill me.But he didn’t.The thought loops endlessly as I stare at the bathroom sink, my damp hair dripping onto silk pajamas that feel too fine aga
I Am Mustafin | 58 | The Price of His Name
Content Advisory: This chapter contains depictions of emotional manipulation, physical violence, and themes of control and power dynamics within a toxic relationship. Reader discretion is strongly advised.It’s been a week since our return from the Diallo sector, a week of laying in bed awake past midnight. The mansion feels different at night—empty corridors stretching like arteries through darkness, each shadow a reminder of how alone I feel.Efrem’s been even more distant since we returned home. At least in the Diallo sector, we shared a bed, breathed the same air. Here, he’s retreated back into his work, and I remain in a separate bedroom.My hand drifts to my stomach beneath the covers, finding that subtle curve that grows more noticeable with each passing day. Soon, I won’t be able to hide it. Soon, the choice of when and how to tell him will be taken from me entirely.I can’t keep going like this.The thought rises unbidden as I stare at the ceiling, watching shadows dance acro
I Am Mustafin | 57 | Rain and Ruin
Rain drums against the car windows as lightning flashes and rolls across the sky. Normally, I’d find the storm unsettling, but nothing could be more unsettling than the storm of tension raging in the car. The leather seat between Efrem and me feels wider than it did when we left the Diallo mansion, though nothing has physically changed. Hours of silence stretch behind us like the dark road ahead, broken only by the rhythmic sweep of windshield wipers.I keep my eyes fixed on the window, watching rivers of water track patterns across glass. It’s easier than catching Efrem’s reflection. The storm grew steadily as we drove, starting as a gentle mist and building to this downpour that turns the world beyond our headlights into sheets of grey.My stomach rolls slightly as Alek takes a curve too fast, and I have to swallow hard against the familiar nausea. Amara’s medication wore off hours ago, but I couldn’t risk taking another pill with Efrem watching. He’s been too observant lately, stud
I Am Mustafin | 24 | A Silent Conspiracy
As night falls, Efrem remains conspicuously absent. Not that I'm particularly worried—none of the Ringleaders have been seen since morning. And with no one to rein us in, Amara, Christana, Nana, Sophia, and I linger poolside, steadily depleting the minibar's stock.Well, they do. Somewhere between
ปรับปรุงล่าสุด : 2026-03-27I Am Mustafin | 23 | Tequila Poolside
I desperately want to believe that last night was merely a dream. I want to believe that when I open my eyes, I’ll find myself back in my own bed, and this whole thing will be nothing more than an elaborate, unsettling fantasy.But if I truly believeanyof that, I'm com
ปรับปรุงล่าสุด : 2026-03-26I Am Mustafin | 22 | Game of Control
Steam billows around me as I step out of the shower, wrapping a plush white towel around my body. These long, hot showers have become my sole refuge, a small relief from my mounting stress. While I'm acutely aware that my situation could be far worse, I often find myself wishing for a more effect
ปรับปรุงล่าสุด : 2026-03-25I Am Mustafin | 21 | A Seat at the Table
I sit at the dining table, my gaze fixed on the empty charger plate before me, acutely aware of the weight of unspoken judgments hanging in the air. The collective stares of those around me feel like a physical pressure, and I find myself wishing I could dissolve into the ornate chair beneath me.
ปรับปรุงล่าสุด : 2026-03-24
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