Chapter 2 Unconcerned

I wanted to give them back all their stuff before I left. When we were twelve, Yves gave me his first basketball competition victory's medal. He wanted me to keep it safe for him.

I went to the sports center holding the medal. He was on the ground, helping Melissa build her clothes stand. Mattresses, lamps, and boxes sat beside him.

"Put that lower." She gesticulated and drew a height level. "I can't reach it."

He took it apart and put it together again. He saw me and asked, "What are you doing here?"

I handed him the medal. "You can have it back."

He was stunned. "It can stay with you. What are you doing giving it back to me?"

"I might not have the chance to give it back if I miss this one."

He did not seem to notice what I meant. Instead, he casually tossed the medal into an already overflowing box. "Just in time. Melissa's room still needs a hook. You're strong. Come help out."

I did not move. Melissa quickly said, "It's alright. She's going to the northwestern region. I bet she's busy packing up."

Yves glanced at me. "She always finishes packing in ten minutes. That doesn't count as busy."

I left. He did not even come out to ask me when I was leaving.

…

Xavier was in the library. I found him there and handed back the competition notes he had left with me.

He took them and looked at the camera hanging around my neck. I saved a year's worth of allowance when I was fifteen to buy this. All our high school memories were inside.

"Leave the camera too," he said. "Melissa's making a video about her life, and she'll play it during orientation night."

"This is mine."

"We're just borrowing it. Not like we won't give it back." He waved at Melissa.

Melissa came and stared at my camera. "I just want to pick out our childhood photos."

"You weren't in our childhoods."

She went white. Xavier gave me a disapproving look. "You don't have to take it that far. She just feels that it's a pity she didn't get to know us sooner."

"So you're taking my past to patch up her void?"

He lost his patience and took the camera bag that was hanging on the back of the chair. "It'll just be for a few days. Don't overreact."

I tried to take it back, but he moved out of the way. "Ronald will give it back to you once the video's done."

I stared at him and let go. "Fine." There was nothing in the camera that I could not lose. Everything that still deserved a place in my life had already been backed up.

Christian stopped me at the entrance. "Just in time." He tossed me an external hard drive. "All the videos we took are in there. You can edit well. Make the video for Melissa."

"She doesn't have eighteen years worth of memories to edit."

"That's why she's using ours." He made it sound so matter-of-fact. "Edit out the places you can't show up in and put hers in. That'll work."

I looked at the hard drive.

It contained the video of us riding a car the first time, our first camp, and every birthday they spent with me. Now they wanted me to cut it all out so Melissa could replace me and pretend she had a perfect childhood.

"Fine." I took the hard drive. That stunned him.

"That was fast."

"You said I'd calm down after sulking for a couple of days."

He rubbed his nose awkwardly. "Glad to hear you got over it."

None of them asked when I was leaving.

…

That night, Ronald asked me out on a date. He took us to our usual spot but spent all his time texting.

Melissa said the bed boards were too hard, so he called the supplier to change it. She said she was worried she could not get along with her roommates, so he sent some long voice messages to reassure her.

The meat was getting too hard to eat, but he didn't notice. "Ronald."

"Yes?"

"Do you remember what I'm doing tomorrow?"

He finally looked up. "Um… Packing up?"

"Something along those lines."

He heaved a sigh of relief and slid a plate of dessert over to me. "Don't give me that long face. And don't cause a scene after you get there. I promised you I'd visit, so I won't go back on it."

When we left, he kissed my forehead. "Just wait until the start of term like a good girl. We'll visit after some time."

I did not expose his lie.

After I went home, I plugged the hard drive into my computer and deleted everything that had us in it. I would not let them take my life apart and hand the pieces to Melissa just so she could pretend they belonged to her.

Then, I unplugged the hard drive and put it in a delivery box. This was my final gift for them, a clean past that had no traces of me in it.