登入The day of the midterm presentation, I stood at the front of a Pennington lecture hall for the first time.The professor, classmates, and a handful of exchange students sat in the audience. I finished my presentation, and when I looked up, my gaze wandered to the last row.Elaine was sitting there. She had lost a lot of weight, and there were faint shadows under her eyes. She did not rush toward me the way she had the last time. She just sat there, watching quietly, as if she had finally learned to let me finish first.When the presentation ended, the room broke into applause. I closed my folder and stood at the front, and something in me almost wanted to laugh.I had spent so long waiting for someone else to speak up for me, to explain things on my behalf, to decide whether or not I deserved to feel hurt. Now I was the one standing here, and I did not need anyone's permission to speak.After I stepped down, the professor told me that Pennington's exchange program had an opening a
Autumn came quickly at Pennington. The sea breeze rolled in and curled the edges of every textbook. I started working on a small research project with one of my professors, organizing materials, helping with translations, and occasionally editing drafts.When I was busy, I barely thought about Elaine at all. She had stopped showing up every day like before. She still sent the occasional message, but I never read them.One afternoon, my student advisor handed me a document that had been forwarded from Kellmore. I opened the envelope and found a sealed letter inside. My name was written on the front in handwriting I recognized immediately. It was Elaine's.I stared at it for a long time, then put it in my desk drawer without opening it.By the time I got out of class that evening, it was already dark. I was standing at the campus entrance waiting for the bus when Elaine's number came through again.This time, I picked up."Talk."She seemed caught off guard. "You finally answered.
Elaine came looking for me again, this time outside the library.I had just finished a group presentation that day. The professor had praised me for how clearly I organized the material and how well I structured my argument.Standing at the front of the room and answering questions, I felt a strange sense of disorientation. I had spent so long watching other people's faces for cues. Now that someone was actually listening to what I had to say, I almost did not know how to handle it.After the session ended, I carried my materials downstairs. Elaine was standing right outside the entrance, holding a cup of hot coffee.I slowed for a second.She saw me and walked over immediately."Leo."I glanced at the cup in her hand. "What are you doing here?""I want to talk.""I wasn't clear enough last time?"She swallowed hard. "Bradley and I broke up."I did not say anything.She seemed afraid I would not believe her, so she added, "It's not because you pressured me. I figured it out
Elaine stood outside the Pennington gates all night.My student advisor told me the next morning. She said it had rained the night before, and the girl had stood by the road and refused to leave, asking for me by name more than once. Security would not let her in, and she did not make a scene. She just stood there until nearly dawn before she finally left.I listened and nodded. "Got it."My advisor looked at me for a moment but did not say anything more.It was only later that I realized I had meant it. Not because the pain was gone, but because there was no longer any point in letting it show.That evening, I was organizing materials in the library. My phone sat quietly beside me. I scrolled back to my old messages with Elaine.I had only meant to delete them. But once I opened the thread, I ended up reading through every single one.The earliest was from the day of the train.[Leo, just manage on your own for a bit. I'm grabbing something for Bradley.]Then the day they m
The next morning, I went to Pennington to finish my enrollment paperwork. The upperclassman handling my intake walked me through each form patiently, line by line."This emergency contact field needs to be a family member or someone you trust."I looked down at the form and paused for two seconds. Then I wrote in the number for my assigned student advisor. She had given it to me the day before, telling me that since I was new to Westport, I should call her if anything urgent came up.The upperclassman glanced at what I had written but did not say anything. He just smiled and took the form."You can come to me too, if you ever need anything. Don't try to handle everything on your own."My fingers tightened around the pen.I used to dread the idea of asking anyone for help, because every time I did, the response always made me feel like I was a burden. However, at Pennington, nobody looked at me that way. Someone helped me with my paperwork. Someone reminded me about my class sch
I turned off my phone in the car on the way to the airport. Before the screen went dark, Elaine's messages came pouring in, one after another.[Leo, where did you go?[The building manager said you checked out.[What's this about Pennington?[Answer me.[Stop this.]My finger hovered when those last two words appeared. Then I blocked her.Outside the car window, the Kellmore overpass stretched out under the early morning lights, each one sliding past and falling behind. I thought of the day I had first arrived in Kellmore. She had said the same thing then."Stop it."Just hang on a little longer."I'll be right there."Yet her version of "right there" never meant anything.Before the plane took off, I canceled my old phone number and slipped a new SIM card into my phone.The cabin was quiet. I leaned against the window and watched the clouds close in overhead. I used to think that if I just waited long enough, Elaine would eventually turn around and look for me. Howeve







