Chapter 4

It was already night when I came out of the hospital. I walked home with my prescription in hand.

I had just pushed open the door when I heard Jeremy's laughter coming from the living room. He was wearing the white suit meant for my wedding and standing in front of the full-length mirror. Sheila was standing behind him, looking up as she adjusted his collar.

I had chosen that suit after trying five different boutiques. I had sent a photo to Sheila before and asked if she thought it looked good. She took a really long time to respond to me, replying indifferently, "It's alright."

Yet, at this moment, Sheila was actually momentarily stunned while looking at Jeremy dressed in that suit.

Jeremy caught my reflection in the mirror and quickly undid his cufflinks. "It's not what you think, Christian. You see, the boutique just dropped off the suit today, and since you looked unwell today, I thought I'd test the fit for you."

I stood at the entrance, tightly holding the bag of medicine in my hand. I noticed that the shoulder line of the suit had been adjusted to fit Jeremy's body.

I suddenly recalled that when I first tried it on, it was slightly loose around the shoulders. I even turned to ask Sheila as the tailor adjusted them for me. "How does it look, Sheila? Do you think we should tighten them a bit more?"

Sheila shot me a casual glance back then and replied indifferently, "It's fine either way."

Yet, at this moment, Sheila was carefully straightening every crease on Jeremy's suit.

I suddenly lost all energy to demand answers, feeling completely hollow inside.

Jeremy quickly picked up the wedding fireworks plan from the table and said, "I just looked at the fireworks plan for the wedding, and I think the current theme is too basic. Why don't we switch it to a blue and purple galaxy theme, Sheila?"

He turned to look at me after saying that, as if something had just crossed his mind. "You won't mind, right, Christian? I just think it'd be way more romantic this way."

I felt a lump in my throat after hearing that. It was once again that blue and purple galaxy firework. That was the fireworks design I drew for Sheila seven years ago. It was a dream I waited seven years to see come true, and it never did.

Sheila kept her eyes on the plan and said, "That works, too."

She hesitated for a second before continuing, "It's true that fireworks should be more dazzling for a wedding. You truly get me, Jeremy."

I suddenly found this situation utterly ridiculous. Jeremy was wearing my suit while my wedding was turned into whatever Jeremy wanted; even my own dream needed Jeremy's approval before it was finally allowed to happen.

Jeremy glanced at the seating arrangement and asked, "Do you think I should sit closer to the main table for the wedding banquet?"

He spoke softly, as if he didn't want me to get the wrong idea. "Sheila and I used to be involved with each other, so others might think we have something to hide if we sit too far away from each other, Christian."

Sheila said softly, "You'll be sitting at the main table. You're not an outsider, after all."

I stood at the doorway and couldn't help but find it absurd. Jeremy wasn't an outsider, while I, the actual groom, felt like an outsider who was interrupting their trip down memory lane.

Sheila came over and reached for my arm. "You should get some rest first and let Jeremy handle the wedding arrangements. He has better taste than you, Christian."

I calmly pulled away from her hand and walked into the bedroom.

Sheila seemed relieved. She probably figured I was being understanding again, just like I always used to.

I grabbed my clothes out of the closet, taking them out one by one.

I remembered the dishwasher Sheila had bought me, which hadn't even been installed yet. Its box remained untouched in the corner of the living room—just like all the unnecessary kindness I had received over the past seven years.

I didn't bother taking a look at it again.

I said nothing and packed my personal documents, bank cards, and passport.

In the living room, Sheila and Jeremy were still chatting about how extravagant the next fireworks should be. It didn't really matter how grand the fireworks would turn out, as they would no longer be able to brighten my life.