CHAPTER 18

Things get tense

Damian’s POV

The next day, I tried to keep myself busy.

Meetings, emails, calls, more meetings—none of it helped. My body was there sitting in chairs, looking at charts, sipping warm coffee. But my thoughts kept going off in different directions. Back to Eliot. Back to the kiss in the hallway. Back to the latest message made my heart seize in my chest.

“The next leak goes to the press.”

I could hear that message screaming in my head all the time. I had no idea when it would happen. I didn't know the person behind it. I knew I was running out of time, and if that picture got out, it wouldn’t just expose me. It would destroy him, too.

Lila had called to talk to me during breakfast that day. Her words were soft and careful, and her voice was quiet. But I knew she was also worried, not just about Naomi or our arrangement, but about me.. I didn't say much. I couldn't form words. The lie we’d agreed to live in felt heavier than ever.

It kept us safe from the outside world, but in doing so, I’d driven Eliot away.

Now I didn't know how to get him back now.

By evening, the house was too stuffy to breathe.

The walls, the windows, the silence all pressed down on me like judgment. I left my room without knowing where I was going—just walking until my feet took me somewhere that felt real.

As I walked into the garage, the lights buzzed above me. The air smelled like dust, gasoline, and old secrets. Then I saw him

Eliot.

He leaned up against the hood of my car with one foot on the bumper and his arms across his chest. He wore a black long-sleeved shirt with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. His hair was a little damp, like he had just washed it off. He looked like a storm waiting to hit.

A storm part of me wanted it to happen.

“You’re not supposed to be down here,” I said.

He didn't move. "I didn't know I needed permission before I can come here now."

His voice was cool and sharp at the same time.

I took a step closer. "You've been staying away from me."

"Really?" He said flatly, still not looking at me. "I wasn't trying hard to hide it."

"Let me explain."

He finally turned to face me and said, "No. You don't have to. It doesn't matter.”

I held my breath.

Even though he was tired, his face was still pretty. His jaw was tight. His eyes full storm of pain, anger, and something else, something deeper.

I moved slowly to close the gap between us. “You can hate me as much as you want,” I said, “but you know it yourself that you matters to me.”

Eliot let out a sharp breath and pushed the car off with one hand. “I’m not pretending like I don't know Damian. I’m just finding it hard to accept it.”

He took a step toward me.Do you know what it’s feels like waking up with your kiss still burning on my lips… and I opened my phone, I saw a picture of you smiling with her, as if I were just a mistake in your memory.

“I’m not in love with her,” I said. My voice shook, louder than I intended. “I never was.”

“But you still chose her,” he snapped. “Even if it’s fake, even if it’s for a reason—I’m still the one in the shadows. Still the one watching you play pretend like what we had was nothing.”

“I didn’t choose her.”

“You didn’t choose me either.”

The air between us shook so hard it looked like it might break.

Eliot had his hands curled up at his sides, his jaw clenched so much and I thought he was going to grind his teeth to powder.

I took a step closer. "Then why are you here?"

His voice broke. "Because I don't know how not to be."

The silence that followed cut deeper than the previous yelling.

I slowly reached out for him, cautiously like i was approaching a wound animal. He let me. I put my hand on his wrist and then moved down to his hand. His skin was warm. Even though his fingers were shaking a little, he didn't pull away.

I said in a whisper, "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"But you did."

"I know."

I nod my head toward the car and said, "Get in."

Eliot was startled and blinked. "What?"

"I need a place where no one can see me."

After a long moment, he nodded. We both slid in, the door clicking shut behind us like the sealing of a vault.

Everything felt more close inside the car.

The air was thick with heat, anxiety, and something that wasn't being said. Eliot sat stiffly in the passenger seat with his arms crossed and his jaw clenched. I watched him in the dim light.

He did not talk. But his silence wasn't cold.

It was screaming.

“You still want me?” I asked quietly.

He slowly turned his head. "Yes."

"Even after everything?"

"Especially after everything."

That hurt me deeply.

As I reached across the console, my fingers touched his cheek and then cupped his jaw. He closed his eyes for a second, as if to remember the touch.

Then he leaned in.

And I met him halfway, as our lips met.

The kiss was nothing but deep. Hot. Filled with honesty.

He pulled me closer with his hands in my shirt. My hand slid around his neck and curled into the back of his hair. We kissed like we were drowning and only each other could bring us air.

His body moved toward mine, and his knees touched the console. I could feel his short breath on my cheek. As I kissed him more deeply, I felt like I could pour all of my feelings into the space between our mouths.

When we broke apart, his forehead rested against mine.

We were both out of breath.

He was shaking slightly, and I didn’t know if it was from anger or need. Maybe both.

He said in a whisper, "I can't keep doing this."

"I know."

“But I don’t want to stop either.”

“Then don’t.”

His voice got weaker. "Damian, this can't go on forever."

Again, my heart broke. "I know, but I don't know how to let you go.”

His eyes were clear as glass. "I'm sick of being your secret."

"I am fed up hiding too."

I thought for a second that we could hold this for ever as we sat there nose to nose.

But outside, just above us, a red light that flashed recording everything we did.

~~~~~

(Somewhere in the city)

Across the city, in a tall gray tower, Maxwell Vale stared at his desk.

The envelope wasn't marked or anything. Inside was a black USB drive sitting inside like a danger, ready to be set off.

He did not talk. He just plugged it into his computer.

The screen came on and they were right there.

Eliot and Damian.

Kissing in the shadows of the garage, where no one could see them.

Maxwell didn't move, but his fists clenched by his side. He sat back down in his chair. His eyes got smaller.

But still didn't say anything.