Five Minutes Earlier… *Cal*“Come on, Boss. Let’s go outside. I need to have a smoke,” Sam grumbles as he brushes past me. “People are fucking crazy tonight. I can’t deal with this sober.”I actually agree with him. The bar is fucking crowded tonight, and truthfully, I could use a smoke too. I need to breathe some fresh air besides the smell of alcohol and sweat for a change.It doesn’t usually bother me, but some days it’s hard to run this sort of business. Christmas Eve is one of them.I follow Sam outside, pulling my pack of cigarettes out of my pocket and lightning one up, offering it to light Sam’s next. I shouldn’t be smoking. I quit a long time ago, but with all the cartel bullshit we’ve been dealing with this year… I’m back to old habits.“I don’t know why they have to be so loud all the fucking time,” he continues to complain. “They’re just lonely, sad people who have too much shit to deal with during the holidays,” I explain darkly. “It’s just easier to drown themselves in
*Cal*Normally, I’d hesitate before jumping through a curtain of flames. Even to save someone’s life. If it was one of my men in there, what would I do? I wouldn’t think twice before trying to save them.Why am I seriously considering letting that pretty girl die by herself, a victim of something she shouldn’t even be involved with in the first place?That thought seems to renew my determination, and finding a breach in the fire, I climb through the broken window and step inside the store, immediately covering my nose with my arm.The place is a fucking mess already, thick black smoke covering the tall shelves of books. I look around, frantically searching for the woman who was in this exact spot a few minutes ago. Did she manage to escape before the explosion? Did she even see it coming?The front door and the back door seem to be blocked, so I don’t see how she could’ve escaped in time to avoid the fire.I wish I knew her name so I could call for her, but when I was in here a few
*Heidi*I open my eyes, struggling to adjust to the bright, white walls and ceiling surrounding me. I have a major headache, my eyes sting, and I feel a tightness in my chest that makes it hard to breathe.I inhale sharply, and that makes me cough. A lot.My throat burns, and when I think I can’t handle it anymore, someone walks into my room, offering me a glass of water.There’s some sort of oxygen mask in the way, so I move it aside a bit and take the glass, gulping down the liquid, instantly feeling relief. “How are you feeling?” the kind nurse asks in a sweet voice.I cough a few more times and return the glass to her. She sets it on the table next to my bed.“My chest feels heavy, and I have this awful headache. My throat is also bothering me, but other than that, I feel okay,” I tell her.“That’s expected since you inhaled a lot of smoke. The doctor said you should recover soon, but you will need to spend the night in observation,” the nurse explains. That’s when my memory sta
*Cal*It’s been almost a week since the fire, and every day I’ve been coming and going to the bar, sitting in the same chair in the corner, just across from the window where I can watch the bookstore that is now just a pile of ashes and burned wood on the other side of the street.The police surrounded the place with yellow tape, which in my opinion serves no purpose; it only attracts more attention than the burnt out building already did by itself.New Year’s is around the corner, and ever since I saved that woman on Christmas Eve, I can’t make myself relax or move past the explosion. To say I’m pissed would be an understatement.My men still haven’t figured out who attacked us, and even though I have my own suspicions, I can’t act on instinct. I need proof to make a move. I can’t afford to make more enemies by blindly attacking in the name of revenge.Ever since that day, I haven’t heard from “Book girl”. Hell, I don’t even know if she survived. She hasn’t come to check on the shop
*Heidi*I wasn’t planning on barging through the bar door across the street when I left my aunt’s apartment this morning. My initial goal was to stop by the bookstore and see if there was anything I could do to make the insurance company just give us the money faster so we can start rebuilding it as soon as possible, or at the very least, relocate. They are taking so long to get back to us, to let us know what can and will be done to help us rebuild the store. I don’t even know if they will pay us or not. I know that the end of the year is slow and bad to get things done, and no one is really making an effort to solve things quickly. Not to mention that getting someone to rebuild an entire establishment during the holidays won’t be easy. If possible at all.That’s why I’m getting so worked up and anxious.Other than the fact that I lost everything. That’s why, as soon as my eyes fell on what used to be my grandfather’s biggest achievement in life, an anger I’ve never felt before was
*Cal*I have never been good with people crying.Let alone women.To have Heidi sobbing in front of me was not something I was expecting to have to deal with after seeing how fiery and determined she looked a minute ago.I don’t know how to react. I don’t know what to do to make her feel better.The way the tears are pooling in her beautiful eyes is enough to make me want to go after whoever did that to her store and just make them disappear from the earth once and for all.It’s absurd how simply watching her cry is making me visit emotions I’ve never felt before.She is trying to be strong, wiping the tears from her eyes aggressively, but one more look at me, and all her walls break down.I glance at Ian, who is now pretending he isn’t even here, and I consider what to do. I don’t want to invade her privacy or do something she might find disrespectful, but I feel like she needs comfort right now.And if I can do that for her, it might be worth a try.“Come on, let’s have a seat,” I s
*Heidi*I would never imagine Cal to be the type of man who is attentive and kind while looking so intimidating and cold on the outside. If anything, I imagined him as a grumpy, arrogant, stupid man who thinks he runs the world and that everything needs to be done according to his rules and demands.But barging into his bar and crying in front of him–even though it almost made me die of embarrassment–has proven to be somewhat worth it. I’ve never been the type of woman who was the object of desire for any man. I did have some boyfriends here and there while I was in college, but none of them ended up forming a serious relationship. And all of them eventually cheated on me. Good thing was that I was never in love with any of them, so I can’t say I suffered immensely. But it did some damage to my self-esteem. No man has piqued my interest after I graduated, and it’s been like that for years. But something in Cal makes me feel different. The way his eyes drink me in makes me feel like
*Cal*Heidi follows me as I take her to my office. We stroll across the hallway, heading for the last door on our right. Our footsteps are the only thing I can hear as I guide her, her tiny frame following me closely.I’m trying hard to ignore how good she smells. Her sweet perfume inebriates my senses and makes it hard for me to think clearly.And I have to figure out what I can do for her now that she finally seems willing to accept my help.Seeing how defensive Heidi can get has turned me on more than I’d like to admit, but I can’t say I don’t like it. Ever since she crossed the doorway of my bar, she’s done nothing but surprise me.She yelled, cried, stood defensively and suspiciously before me, showing multiple sides of her in less than an hour. Teasing and flirting with her felt good, but considering how different Heidi is from the women I’m used to dating, I need to be cautious. And more respectful than ever. The last thing I want is to scare her away.Her retorts only added fu
*Heidi*It’s past 9:00 P.M. and the sky is fully dark outside by the time Cal returns home. After finding his closet packed with guns, there was nothing else I could do other than sit on his couch and wait for him to return to ask what the fuck he’s got all those weapons for.I pondered the sitution for so long, my brain working overtime, convincing myself that I should give him the benefit of the doubt. I can’t believe that he would do anything to harm me. Even if that meant keeping things like this from me.The entire afternoon, I tried to think of reasons why he would need to have guns inside his home. He’s a businessman after all. He might have… unruly patrons at the bar? But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t come up with an explanation as to why he would need an entire wall of weapons that look like something out of a gangster movie.That’s why I’m still here when he returns. In the morning, my original plan was to surprise him, to have a romantic dinner prepared for when he
*Heidi*Opening my eyes to find myself in Cal’s bed with him by my side is even better than any dream I’ve ever had. His scent is all over the room and the sheets, and the heat radiating from his body is almost too much for my sleepy mind to handle.He looks even hotter after waking up, and I need to control myself not to jump on him. Which, eventually, I end up doing anyway.I’m on top of him before I know it. Having morning sex feels somewhat different, and I’m slightly embarrassed that he gets to see me with my puffy, sleepy eyes and disheveled hair, but he doesn’t seem to mind and is eager to please me.Our skin is damp with sweat after I ride him and give us both a morning to remember. I roll off him and stare at the ceiling, too tired to stand up and get started with my day.“I really have to go to work,” he tells me, his tone expressing how annoyed he is to have to leave this place.I don’t blame him. I wish he didn’t have to go either. I wouldn’t mind having the day off, to sp
*Cal*I’ve had other women say they loved me before—after we had sex and I’d taken them to paradise and back. It’s not uncommon. However, I know that Heidi’s words carry a different meaning than all of the rest. I’m absolutely positive she didn’t say that just because she was in post-coital bliss. She meant it. Every word. I only know because I can feel that whatever we have going on between us is different from anything I have ever experienced before.Which is why it freaks me the fuck out.This wasn’t supposed to get this deep. This was supposed to remain an infatuation, a brief curiosity. Something I could chase, experience, and set aside. Because I’m a dangerous man, and that danger lurks in every facet of my life. She’d never be safe. But deep down, the selfish part of me is thrilled to know she loves me. I never thought I deserved someone’s love, but Heidi makes me feel like I do. Like somehow I deserve to be with her and have her by my side. That’s the kind of effect she has o
*Heidi*Cal looks up at me, his eyes slightly widened in surprise as if asking me what’s gotten into me.“That was the sweetest thing anyones ever said to me,” I explain, my heart beating rapidly against my ribcage.“It’s the truth,” he tells me honestly, caressing my cheek with tenderness.I’m sure my heart is about to jump out of my chest. Why do I feel so emotional? Everything he says and does to me seems so genuine, like he truly wants to make me happy.I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way toward another man before. It’s an unknown feeling to me, but if I could dare say it, I’d guess it’s love.Or at least something similar to it.He might not feel the same way about me, but right now, I don’t mind. I just want to be with him and enjoy whatever time I have with him all to myself. Being with Cal makes me happier than anything else I’ve ever experienced in my life–even getting lost in a good book.Tired of the distance between us, I lean forward, and our mouths crash together. Cal’
*Heidi*My face heats up with his offer, and I can’t find it in me to reject it. I was trying to be bold and surprise him by coming here, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t have any plans on returning to my own apartment tonight.But I was also telling the truth when I said I liked to spend time with him, no sex involved. Cal makes my days much better, especially now that I’m living by myself and barely see my grandparents. New York is a big city, but it can feel so small when you’re alone.Whenever I’m with Cal, it’s like time freezes, and I can simply enjoy being around him. He makes me feel wanted, heard, cared for. Nothing about what we have feels fake or forced.I don’t know what we are–and I would never dare to say we’re together–but I can’t lie to myself anymore. I believe I’m falling for him. Or better yet, I think I have already fallen. Deep. Beyond redemption.“So, what do you say?” His hoarse, sexy voice whispers in my ear, and I remember I didn’t give him an answer.
*Cal*I frown at Clara, my brain still a bit foggy. I don’t need to ask who she is referring to. At this point, everyone who works for me knows I’m seeing Heidi.“I’ll be right there,” I tell her, getting to my feet and checking my appearance in the mirror.I don’t feel tired, but the dark circles under my eyes say otherwise. I’m sure Heidi will notice it as soon as she sees me, but I don’t want her to worry. I’ll probably have to lie to her if she asks. It wouldn’tl be the first time I’ve kept something from her.The idea of keeping the truth about my life from her is starting to bother me to the point I’m considering risking everything, telling her what I do for a living. But I know the moment I confess and she realizes how dangerous it is, she’ll be out of my life in a blink of an eye.And I’m not ready for that.I wonder if that’s how Tony felt when he got married to Chloe to protect her from the cartel. He told me one time that he was afraid to involve her in all of this mess, an
*Cal*Heidi and I get dressed as I consider what to do. I check my phone, expecting to see a message from Sam telling me that the path is clear for me to take Heidi home, but he hasn’t texted me yet.I need to keep Heidi here for a little longer, until I know for sure we can head out without the risk of being attacked.“I’ll get something for us to eat before I take you home,” I offer, fixing my hair and adjusting the collar of my shirt.Heidi arches an eyebrow at me, considering my suggestion. I’m sure she must want to go home, and I can’t deny I also want to be alone so I can find out who the fuck was following us earlier, but unfortunately, she’ll have to wait.Reluctantly, she scoots back on the couch. “Fine, I’m starving.”“Want me to order some pizza?” I ask, grabbing my phone and opening the delivery app.“Yeah, I could eat some pizza,” she agrees. Her cheeks are still flushed from our previous activities. Seeing her skin glowing like that makes me want to do it all over again
*Heidi*The steamy session at Cal’s car only got me worked up enough to be desperate for him to take me. So much that I didn’t even bother that he took me to his office out of all places. When he said he wanted to take me somewhere safer, I thought he was talking about his apartment, but to my surprise, I was even more aroused when he took me to his bar.I never had sex in an office before, but I’ve read enough books to keep my imagination vivid and wanting to give it a try.Standing in his office in nothing but my underwear turns me on more than I expected. The simple fact that someone could barge in at any minute and catch us excites me more than I’d like to admit.God, I was never like this before. I wonder how Cal manages to turn me into this hungry woman who can only think about having sex.Sure, I do want more from him, but right now, having sex with him leaves me fully satisfied, and if that’s all I can get, well, I might as well take it while he is offering me.The intense loo
*Cal*“I didn’t think you meant your bar when you said ‘somewhere safer,’” Heidi points out with a note of amusement in her voice as I guide us inside through the back door.I managed to shake whoever was following us, but I don’t think I lost them completely. They might be somewhere near, watching my next moves. They know I own this place, but I can’t show Heidi any sign of worry or fear right now.I can only hope they don’t have ulterior motives tonight other than keeping an eye on us. An attack would be a fucking mess with Heidi here with me.“It wasn’t my first thought, but considering you really liked my office the last time you were here, I figured, why not?” Heidi seems surprised by my answer, but her expression softens as soon as I open the door to my office, and she finds everything exactly as she remembers it.“Make yourself comfortable,” I tell her, pecking her on the lips, one hand gripping her waist. “I’ll just send my men away and get us both something to drink,” I lie.