Mag-log inThe forty-eight hours landed on a Thursday afternoon.I walked out of Strategy and Tactics into thin March sunlight and stood on the steps and thought: *nothing happened. It was fake. Someone with too much information and not enough to actually do anything, throwing a grenade on their way out.* I stood there for a moment and breathed the cold air and felt my shoulders drop from somewhere around my ears where they'd been living for two days.Done.I texted Maya: *48 hours. Nothing. It was fake.*Her response came immediately: *told you. now stop catastrophizing and go find your man*I laughed out loud, alone on the steps, two passing students giving me a slightly wide berth.---I found him in his office between classes.The door was half-open, which was the signal we'd developed — half-open meant knock, closed meant not now, fully open meant students welcome. I knocked twice, heard him say come in, and slipped inside.He was at his desk with a stack of assessments, reading glasses on,
LEXII woke up with my phone already in my hand.Not unusual lately. I'd been sleeping the way you sleep when something is unresolved — one layer too shallow, body not fully committing to unconsciousness, some part of my brain keeping watch.The text was still there when I unlocked the screen. I'd read it so many times the words had started to lose their shape.Your father knows you're with Cross. He's been informed. You have 48 hours before he comes for you both.I put the phone face down on the nightstand and stared at the ceiling.Damon was still asleep beside me, one arm across my waist, breathing slow and even. Yesterday had cracked something open in him and he'd slept deeper than I'd seen in weeks — the particular heaviness of someone who'd finally put something down.I didn't want to touch that. Didn't want to bring this into the space yesterday had made.So I got up carefully, found my clothes, and left him sleeping.---Olandria answered on the third ring, which meant she was
"There's nothing else," I said. "That's all of it. Everything."She studied me across the table. I recognized the look — I'd taught it to her. Reading an opponent. Looking for the micro-tells. The slight muscle movement, the breath pattern, the thing the eyes did when the mouth wasn't being completely honest.I let her look."Okay," she said finally.Then again, softer: "Okay."She reached across the table and put her hand over mine.Her fingers were warm. I turned my hand over and held them.Outside, morning had fully arrived while we sat there — the gray had shifted to something lighter, actual color coming into the world. Through the kitchen window I could see the bare tree in the courtyard moving slightly in the wind, branches catching the early light.Seven years.I'd been carrying it for seven years and I'd just set it down on a kitchen table and the world hadn't ended.Gabe, I thought. I finally told someone.I could almost hear him: took you long enough.---She came around th
I heard her before I saw her.The soft sound of the bedroom door, bare feet on the floor. Then she appeared in the kitchen doorway in my hoodie and yesterday's socks, hair loose and sleep-tangled, taking in the scene — me at the table, cold coffee, whatever was on my face.She crossed the kitchen quietly. Put her hand on my shoulder."Hey."I looked up at her.In the gray morning light she looked very young and very old at the same time, which was something she did sometimes that still caught me off guard. Lorenzo's daughter, all the way down. Bone-deep."Sit down," I said. "I need to tell you something."---She sat across from me and folded her hands on the table and waited.I started talking.I told her about Gabriel first — who he was, not just what happened to him. The barracks. The argument that became a friendship. Four years of service that had been the realest thing in my life up to that point. I wanted her to know him before I told her how he died. It felt important. Like th
DAMONI was awake before the sun.That wasn't unusual. What was unusual was lying there for a full ten minutes and then getting up instead of reaching for Lexi, instead of pulling her closer and letting her warmth be the thing that kept the morning at bay a little longer.I needed to think. And I couldn't think clearly with her next to me.I made coffee in the gray pre-dawn quiet, moving around the kitchen by memory more than sight, and when it was done I sat at the table and didn't drink it. Just held the mug. Let it warm my hands.And I let myself think about Gabriel Reyes.Really think about him. Not the edited version I'd been carrying — the compressed, flattened version that fit in a box and stayed there. The real one. The full one. The one I'd been keeping the lid on for seven years because opening it meant sitting with the smell and the sound and the specific quality of that night's darkness, and I hadn't been ready to do that.Maybe I still wasn't.But I was going to anyway.-
DAMONThe weight had a texture.That was the thing nobody told you about guilt. People talked about it like it was abstract — a feeling, an emotion, something that lived in your head and could be reasoned with. But real guilt had mass. Had density. It sat in the center of your chest like a stone that had been there so long your body had grown around it, incorporated it, made it structural.Remove it now and you might not hold together.Seven years.Seven years of waking up and feeling it before I was fully conscious. Before the room came into focus or my name came back to me. Just that — the weight. Present and accounted for, same as always.I'd learned to function around it. That was all you could do.But lately something had shifted. Lately I'd lie there in the gray pre-dawn with Lexi's warmth against my back and feel the weight differently — not just as something to carry but as something that was starting to cost me. Charging interest. Demanding payment in a currency I was running







