"I'M SO SORRY?" CHAPTER SEVENTEEN I couldn't stop thinking about the kiss I shared with Stacy. A little bit of guilt building in. I mean the kiss was nice but I didn't want her getting attached worse - since she didn't want to stop. It was funny and cute coz she made jokes about not wanting to kiss me at first. Then next thing she groups me. God! That wasn't on my plate. I had a lot on that plate already and adding her would just mess everything up including my mind. I got home and went straight to bed and I hated how when I wasn't doing anything my mind would turn to think about the only thing I tried not to think about. I had three letters from Prison and I didn't open any of them then suddenly my mom wants to talk to me about my dad??? It didn't sit well with me but sadly I knew it had to happen. She was going to talk tomorrow.. I was worried about Valentia. She was cold, I didn't blame her though, I was the reason she was like that. If I didn't throw the Gail shit on he face
Have you ever found yourself so utterly lost or tired emotionally? Well I was, because I realized I was wasting my energy trying to chase what my heart was down for... which I had no idea if it still felt the same.Valentia wasn't okay, she's just gotten divorced and she was trying to get herself together and I on the other and was unknowingly trying to force things... I was pushing her. I needed to chill and leave her alone. So I'd stop feeling like this. Because right now I felt like everything I was doing was wrong and that ended up resulting in draining me emotionally. I ended up feeling like she was just tired of me or whatever and I was thinking why even bother... why even keep on trying when she has staff to deal with. Why bother when she looks like she ain't even interested... I should stop telling her I love her or I miss her or I'm here. I should just treat her like my boss and just be me at work. Never even try to hope for something because she wasn't her old self. I shou
Life... Is so full of fucken surprises. I found myself sitting in my bed and staring blankly at the wall in front of me. I felt so empty, so numb and lost. My ears suddenly felt so hot and my whole body felt ice cold. I had no fucken idea what was happening to me but it made me sick... it made me feel nauseous.. like I was going to vomit all the food I had last night. So he was dead... Dead..! I knew I always used to say he can go die for all I cared... but now that he was dead I felt odd.. I felt...nothing. I thought if something like this was to happen while I was still breathing maybe I'd feel okay, maybe I'd feel glad and be happy that a person who's caused me so much pain finally doesnt exist anymore. I thought I'd be okay with it and finally breathe now that he was no more. But the more my mom's words sank in was the more I got confused... It was the more I remembered one little birdy that was going to suffer from all this.My sister... her father was dead... I knew how s
At the funeral... I felt like a zombie. I felt out of place and emotionless or even lost. My mother cried, my little sister was a zombie like me. She only cried once when she saw me and since then she's been cooped up next to me. I was there mentally... but not with my heart. It didn't exist at that moment.. it was ice cold...My dreams were literally getting worse. I was just happy I didn't wake my sister while sleeping. You know I watched during the funeral as the pastor spoke, praising him and telling us how much of a good husband he was and what a great father and family man he was. It made me sick to my stomach... His family sitting there crying yet they knew the shit he put me through... But I tried to calm me down, they didn't experience what I did. Therefore they didn't know how I felt. So I just kept quiet and held on to my sister. I thought by now, a week later since he died I'd be okay... that I'd be feeling better and getting my old self back. I hardly talked to Vee, s
So just like that... the talk wasn't going to be talked about anymore.It frustrated me how Valentia was acting. Made my mind run wild but I kept my cool. I wasn't going to run after her honestly, I've been doing that for a while so now if she wanted to talk, she was going to be a fucken bigger person and come talk to me. I was done running after her. The week went by painfully slow.. we met up with the printers and asked for 2000 copies.. great deal in the pocket... and Vee still hardly talked to me. I was getting mad now. Honestly getting mad. She was just being an ass and very childish. Acting like my life was a cruise the past few weeks and I was honestly enjoying Jasmine's attention. But in other things, I was a bit surprised that Walter haven't showed his face lately... and his sms's threatening me stopped. But I was thankful he did. On Wednesday I finally answered Jas's phone. 'are you that busy or are you avoiding me?' was the first thing she said when I answered. "I'm a
You know I fucken felt like I was in a fucken movie. Forgive my fucken swearing.. I'm just fucken happy.. okay enough swearing. So I felt something shake me while I was still in deep. Shit.. I sighed and turned around to be met by a very hot looking Vee with a tray in her hand. I couldn't help the smile that grew on my face, "Baby..." She smiled, "umh.. I don't do this shit but I made you breakfast.." I laughed, can she be any cuter, "thank you so much.. but what did I do to deserve this..."She bit her lower lip, "well.. midnight when we were fucking you kinda said you were hungry and after sex we were both lazy to actually get up to make something to eat. So here's your breakfast.." I got up into a sitting position. My heart was beating faster than the speed of light and my mind was screaming Marry me Valentia. It was just fucken amazing I swear."Baby....you didn't have to, but thank you for doing so.. now let me go wash my face and come eat." She put the tray on the headboar
I opened my eyes and took in one deep breath and then let it out. I couldn't believe she just fucked me and left. Goodness.. I sighed and hopped off the counter then made my way to the bedroom. The shower water was on so I knew she was bathing. I got these blankets ready since I was honestly feeling fucken sleepy and tired thanks to that quickie Vee gave me. I went back to the kitchen, dished up her and then put the food on the microwave.. I took a pen and a paper and wrote down.. "Your food is in the microwave. Sleep well❤.. and I'm sorry again.. really sorry. I love you" Then I got in bed... I tried to stay up so that she and her can have a talk. I honestly needed to sleep knowing that I was forgiven but before I knew it, sleep took over and I was in dream land. ..I was woken up by a door. I opened my eyes and turned to Vee's side of the bed, which was the side I was sleeping on and she wasn't here. I furrowed my brows in confusion and looked at the window, the sun was up so
I couldn't believe what I just heard. She left me flabbergasted. That wasn't Jasmine my ex. That wasn't the girl who used to come visit me and make stupid jokes..I mean I understand she lost her mother but what the fuck happened to her after that? Did she take classes at the school for Psychos after that..? Did she just refer to herself as a 3rd person? "Ma'am.. would you like to order something?" A waiter took my mind off my thoughts. "Can I have an appletiser please.." "Anything to eat?" "Not yet I'm still checking..." He nodded and left.I took out my phone and texted my boss... Or should I say my girlfriend... ME: Please come fetch me. I honestly was freaked the living shit out. What if I get out and she's waiting for me. I didn't even understand what she meant... if she can't have me then no one else will? Fuck! My phone vibrated making me jump a bit.. fuck.. VEE: What? Your date sucks that much? I wished I found this funny, but under the circumstances it wasn't at all