Wanting Daddy (3)

Chapter three

Emily

I entered the house, Taylor right behind me. My heart was beating fast, but I kept telling myself this was the right decision. Taylor was a boy from school.

He was nice enough and he liked me. This was my chance to finally get over Dad. I was sure I only kept thinking about him because he was the only man I really knew.

“Hey Taylor, come sit on the couch,” I said. I closed the door and locked it. My hands felt sweaty. “I’m glad you came over today.”

Taylor smiled and sat down. He looked around the living room. “Your house is quiet. Is your dad not home yet?”

“No, he’s still at work,” I said quickly. I sat down next to him and took a deep breath. “Listen, Taylor. I want to sleep with you. Right now. I want you to be my first.”

Taylor’s eyes went wide. He stared at me like he couldn’t believe what I had just said. “Emily, are you serious? You really want to do this?”

“Yes, I’m serious,” I told him. I put my hand on his leg. “I’ve thought about it a lot. I have to do this. I can’t stay a virgin and keep thinking about the wrong person.”

I kept talking because if I stopped I might back out. “You’re a good guy, Taylor. You’re here and you want me. That’s enough. I’ve convinced myself that the guy I like is only in my head because I don’t know any other men. So this will fix it. I’ll give you my virginity and after that everything will be normal.”

I couldn’t exactly tell him that I wanted the only father figure in my life to fuck me in every way imaginable until Sunday.

Taylor put his arm around me. “If you’re sure, Emily. I don’t want to pressure you or anything.”

“You’re not pressuring me,” I said. My voice shook a little. “I want this. I need this.”

We started kissing on the couch. It felt okay, but not like I had imagined. I pulled back after a minute. “I want to blow you first. Is that okay?”

Taylor nodded quickly. He looked excited. “Yeah. Fuck, yeah.”

I slid off the couch and got on my knees in front of him. My heart was racing so hard I thought I might pass out. I reached for his belt and started undoing it. This is it, Emily. You’re really doing it. This will drive the thoughts of Dad away. He’s just my dad. Adoptive dad, but still. I need a real boyfriend experience.

“You look good down there,” Taylor said. He touched my hair.

I looked up at him and tried to smile. “Just relax. I want you to feel good.”

My fingers trembled as I pulled down his zipper. I could hear my own breathing. Part of me felt sick, but I pushed it away. This is normal. Girls do this all the time. I’m eighteen. I shouldn’t be thinking about my dad when I touch myself. Taylor is here. He’s real. He’s not Dad.

I was just about to pull his pants down when the front door opened.

Dad walked in, still in his work clothes. He froze right in the doorway. I froze too, with my hands on Taylor’s belt. Taylor froze with his mouth open.

Nobody said anything. It felt like forever.

Dad’s face changed. His eyes went dark. “What the hell is going on here?”

He stepped inside and slammed the door shut behind him. Taylor jumped up quickly and tried to fix his pants. “Mr. Harper, I can explain—”

“Get out,” Dad said. His voice was deep and angry. “Get out of my house. Now.”

Taylor looked at me, then back at Dad. He didn’t even buckle his belt. He just grabbed his jacket and ran past Dad out the door. Dad locked it again behind him. The house went quiet except for my heartbeat in my ears.

I was still on my knees. Tears came. I couldn’t stop them. Dad walked straight into the dining room without looking at me. I stood up and followed him. My legs felt weak.

“Dad, wait,” I said. My voice cracked. “I didn’t want you to see that. I’m so sorry.”

He sat down at the dining table and put his head in his hands for a moment. I stood there crying, tears running down my cheeks. “Daddy please. I was just trying to make things right. I thought if I did it with Taylor, I would stop thinking about you.”

Dad looked up at me. His eyes were soft but tired. “Come here, Emily.”

I went to him still crying. He pulled me onto his lap. His arms wrapped around me right away. I buried my face in his shoulder. “I didn’t want this. I swear. I just wanted it to stop.”

“Shhh, don’t cry, little one,” he said. His hand rubbed my back. “It’s okay. Just breathe. Stop crying for me.”

I sobbed even harder. I couldn’t help it. Sitting on his lap brought everything back. “I just don’t want to be a virgin anymore, Dad. It hurts. Every time I touch myself I think about you. I thought Taylor could make it go away. I thought if I knew another man it would heal me.”

Dad held me tighter. I could feel his heart beating against me. “Emily, listen to me.”

I kept sobbing into his shirt. “I’m so broken. You saw me the other night and now this. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” he said quietly. He wiped a few tears from my cheek with his thumb. “You’re confused. That’s all.”

I looked up at him. My eyes were blurry from crying. “I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I just want someone to show me what to do so I stop wanting you.”

Dad was quiet for a moment. He looked at me really intensely. Then he said it.

“Don’t worry, Baby. Daddy’s here to teach you.”