BROKEN

"If you ain't so fat!!! maybe the ring would've been your size!".

I tried to conceal my tears,embarrassed as everyone in the shop eyes were on me.

"We have larger ones for you to try sir"the jewelry owner said to him politely.

My fiance maybe hot tempered but am sure he does loves me as much as I love him but...

"Baby can we try another one please"

I managed to say that with a smile on my face.

It was my engagement ring,he didn't know my size so he asked the big question I said yes before we went out to get the ring.

"Am done"he snapped and walked out of jewelry store angrily.

My feet went cold,my blood drained and my skin turned pale.

"Dont worry,he will change his mind"the jewelry woman consoled me.

I nodded and walked out slowly from the jewelry shop.

My heart pounding and my palms sweaty.

"He isn't fed up about the ring not fitting, he is fed up with me,just like Tim,like Nathan,and now Andres,they dumped me with any slightest chance".

I felt a drop from my left eye,I dried it off immediately.

It started raining heavily ,I was almost pushed down by the crowd  running towards a shelter and running from the rain,I didn't mind getting wet from the heavy rain,its the least of my problems now.

I had the flashback of Tim

He was my first love,he loved me...maybe I thought so.....

Years ago after our first night,he made known his intentions to me.I thought I was gonna die back then.

"Its my first time"

I had told him as we both laid down exhausted, sweats dripping down our necks.

"I can see that"he sneered.

I expected more than that reply,but I shouldn't make a deal out of it,I smiled back at him trying to hide my disappointment.

"Am glad its you"I continued trying to engage in a conversation.

"Am done".

"Huh...

I chuckled rather confused as I thought I heard him wrong, or maybe he was pulling my legs.

"I only dated you because i wanted to know how it feels like being with a plus size'".

"Tim what are you saying?."I asked confused,my heart skipped.

"Do you  think I will ever  walk hand in hand with someone ,three times my size "

He looked at me with expressionless face,my eyes clouded.

"Tim what the f**k are you saying to me?"

I sobbed loudly.

"Look shit happens sometimes, I had to go,please clean up the stains before leaving".

He got up and started dressing up

"Tim....

My heart kept pounding,as my tears flew endlessly.

He left and slammed the door after him

I lost words, I couldn't even think or say anything that moment, I didn't even cry out loud either, don't even know if I could breathe anymore.

I had loved tim so much that it hurts alot  ..... well you know ,a first love.

I was only 17 when I got dumped by Tim,my parents said am going to heal and  find someone better.

I tried to forget tim,but it was not so easy. 

2 yes later,I met Nathan, he made me believe ,I was beautiful, thick and sexy, he flaunt me in front of his friends, i was happy, finally found love ,someone to love me the way I am.

I was visibly glowing and happy unaware that i was only just  a mere object of satisfaction for him.

That day I walked into his,a surprise visit only to find him in bed with some girl.

He didnt even apologize or ran after me, after some few days of not calling eachother ,I decided to go patch things up with him,getting to the door, I overheard horrible things Nathan spilled out to his friends about me.

I was called fat and senseless by the same man who called me beautiful and bold.

He brag on how,I can't do without him because I lack love and dying for some love and affection. 

"She's sick of being alone,bitch got me and can't afford losing me".

His friends chuckled. 

"But how good she skips ?"

"Just a heavy bag of pudding, nothing interesting though she got skills I must confess,she can take you to that level, you know what I mean".

"So you are ditching her for kira"another asked.

"Well you can't blame me,Kira is a whole upgrade than the fat cum bag".

They laughed loudly

I freezed that moment,stared at my reflection on the glass door,my tears were flowing ceaselessly and hand glued to the door handle.

I can't blame him, if I got to choose a girlfriend by myself as a guy ..I won't even choose me.

I slowly let go of the door handle and head home,there's no need wasting my life with a man who sees me as just an object of satisfaction and mockery.

And now there's Andre,whom I opened my heart to and shared my past with.

He unapologetically  dumped me same day he proposed ,wow! what a lady you are Beauty, I'm so sad for you.

I kicked off the stuffed toys on my bed and buried my face on a pillow ,crying my soul out.

I flinged the pillow and sat up  then cried loudly again

"I hate my existence, I hate everything about me"i screamed out bitterly.

"If...only ..I was as beautiful as anyone else.".

That night my mom came into my room.

"Honey you are going to starve to death, you are still young to worry about him,you will still have a lot of suitors in the future".

"Why am I fat and ugly!!,I have been bullied from middle school till date,mom,you are ageless,tall and beautiful, why am I not like you?"

My mom was an ex beauty queen,people said am the fat version of her.

"Well having your father's body isn't a curse,you are beautiful the way you are,look at those flesh most of them bullies envy them,you dont even have belly fat,you're thick..and chubby but definitely not fat".

She's trying to cheer me up i know, no one will ever envy a fat lady.

I just went mute ,my lips shivering holding back from crying in her presence.

"You know am gonna tell you a secret "

I gaze at her with interest.

"What secret?"

I asked curiously ,wiping my face with my palm.

"Promise you won't tell .....she paused .then continued. " you won't tell your dad"

I hesitated .

"Okay, yes,I promise"i nodded impatiently. 

"Well i.....

She pressed her lips together like she was about to say something really heavy.

"I..kissed my cousin"

"What!"I snapped shocked.

"French kiss,we made out!!"

My jaw dropped.

"You did what?"

"We had sex, don't act so innocent to me"she sneered.

I never imagined mom to be that type,i

covered my ear.

"I don't want to hear about it".

She chuckled.

"Well almost had sex,we  got all smoochy smoochy... "

"What the...,he is  your couz mom!!!,that's rough,and so grossing me out now"

She chuckled.

"I was a wild teenager got drunk at my sixteen birthday, you know my couz Edward?"

"The one with a weird mustache".

She nodded with a satisfactory smile.

"Yep,that was him"

"How could you!!"

I snapped loudly with a triggered anger.

"Calm down,we didn't actually get into it completely, I was drunk and asked him to kiss me,we both tight and you know ,we kissed and ended up in  the bedroom".

"Ewww!"

"Well he was a bad kisser and his baby mustache was there,remembering it now,it disgusts me".

I slapped my forehead

"Mom you are really ...

"Oh did i mention  before we got all naked and stuff your dad found us"

She interrupted.

"Whaaaaaat!!!,you knew Dad then?"I asked in surprise.

"Ofcourse he was my first and only love"

She said it like a voice actor in one of those fairy tale movies. 

"Dad's gonna kill him"I mumbled.

"No he was like.."what in the holy f**k is going on here, Vanessa you fuckin your couz?"

I was dead drunk to even get those words right. 

"Wait he did not kill Edward?"I asked stupidly.

Mother laughed.

"Ofcourse not,I mean he is still alive  right,he won't be living now ,if your dad  had killed him years ago,Well the next week ,they're yet to discharge him from the hospital,your dad visited him out of pity only to dislocate more bones , fortunately the nurses saved him,poor Edward".

I cracked up.

"Just look at the mirror reflection and tell me how could anyone who isn't bitter call this angel ugly"she diverted.

My face clouded,as I stare at my reflection, eyes slowly getting wet with tears.

"I hope one day you will realize how beautiful and precious you are and flaunt your charms without giving a f**k what they say"

"Mom...

She brushed my hair with her fingers.

"Yes baby".

"Can you let me be alone for now please?"

She sighed out loudly.

"Alright ,take care,don't take anything harmful you may not be so lucky like last times, and please know that i  and your dad loves you more than anything in our existence,please,see yourself the way I see you"she pleaded.

As soon as she shut the door,I cried silently.I vowed to save money for surgery,that the only way to fit into the world beauty standard,and escape from their hatred,bullying, shaming and judgemental nature.

**3 years later**

Location:F&F fashion company (United States of America)

She showed me a pic on her phone.

"Wha'ya think?"

"Wow Jessie this is perfect, you're so perfect".

I exclaimed, admiring her everything in the picture,she's a runaway queen for sure.

"Oh please ,its just the editing".

Jessie chuckled blushing.

"You are a natural Jessie"

I continued.

"Stop it already".

She got all red 

"Let me see the second one".

I requested,she swiped and showed me.

"Isn't this from our last year summer collection?"I asked.

"Yup,am keeping them because they look so good on me"

I shook my head smiling.

Our company's lucky to have her as their model,she was the first friend I made in the company actually more like my only friend.

I smiled at her as she went through the pics,showing me each of her favorite piece asking about what I think of it.

After a while she got busy with chats

I faced my designs and at a point ,confused in making a choice,i got her to help fortunately.

"Which do you think will be nice Jessie, the purple or red?"

I showed jessi my designs.

"I will go for the purple,it's elegant but red romantic and suits the theme".

We got a call to the meet with the former CEO.

Just last minute,Mr Hathaway announced his son Bruno as the new CEO.

"Am sorry father,but I don't deserve to be the CEO,I appreciate the offer as your child but i will love to work my way to the top,please let Ferd be the CEO for the moment. He got more experience than me,for the good of our company, when I am qualified for it,i can take your place"

He stated.

"Bruno ,I think you are being silly"his father snapped.

"Silly?

I muttered to myself, he made a lot of sense.

Mr bruno's the only son of Mr Hathaway,the former CEO of our fashion company but he is soo humble and sometimes suprisely very humble for a young billionaire.

Mr Hathaway seem not to welcome the idea of Bruno not taking over the company today, but he had no choice than dance to his tone.

I stole a quick haze at Mr Bruno,he will never notice me,am the ugliest in the company.

I don't have that body that most of the girls have.

"When are you going to tell him you been crushing for 3 years! girl not your fault though,he is every lady's dream, man is rich ,calm,humble,caring,and overall handsomeness,gush!!,he is handsome,too hot for this world,I gave up a year ago though....

"Jessi..."I snapped in a low tone after she whispered those words into my ears.

I tried not to make it obvious,but she won't stop.

"I don't know if he's gay,he can't be seduced,I tried and failed,try your luck though"Jessie whispered into my ears cutting into my thoughts.

"Jessie!"i snapped out loud this time,it attracted others attention".

"Am sorry sir"I said to Mr Hathaway embarrassed.

Boss is a complete the opposite of his quiet son.

"I allowed you in this company because of your talents and skills, normally you don't belong here,I risk the fate of this company keeping a bag of beans like you here,so don't ever interrupt me when am saying something again".

I felt that deep in my bone,I knew that something close to this is gonna happen,I am always humiliated,others were silent,I heard some silent chuckles ,most from the ladies side.

"Am sorry sir"i said again.

 l couldn't look up as I felt a wet drop on my feet, it was from my eyes,I had to rub off my eyes with a thumb.

Mr Hathaway continued

"As I  was saying....

Mr Bruno interrupted 

"Father please, those words are harsh,too harsh actually".

There was a moment of silence after that statement from  Bruno, everyone was shocked as h hardly say anything during any criticism against the employees.

"Excuse me?"Mr Hathaway thundered,and glare at him deadly.

Bruno went mute.

"Am so sorry Beauty,this was all my fault"Jessie whispered. 

"It's okay am used to this"i whispered back and smiled at her with wet eyes,she wasn't convinced, she patted the back on my hand gently,I closed my eyes and exhale deeply. 

"Now ladies our theme for the weekend show is bikini ,try your best to showcase your beauties  and of course most importantly our designs".

"Yes  boss"other models chorused.

Jessie wasn't in the mood,because of what happened ,so she kept mute,grumbling silently.

SHELL'S POV

Location: Mexico

"I had a twin?"

"Yes"mrs Joyce my supposed mother replied.

"She's just like me but fat..she's so cute and gorgeous".

I stared at the image of h er on my screen,its like looking into the mirror,well a mirror that can make you appear fatter.

"Actually you two are very identical,same birthmarks but you are lucky to have your mom's body and she got your dad's fat,funny you two got same name,beauty,isn't that interesting".

"She's also lucky.....she does't look so happy in this photo,I wonder how she is coping,where is she ? how do I meet her ".

"Calm down young lady,you gonna meet her someday,I promise".

"But why..are you telling me this mom?"

"I promised your birth mom I will tell you when you came of age,so ,am fulfilling that promise".

I smiled back and huggled her tightly.

"Thanks mother,you don't know how happy this made me,having those strange feelings and all the twin effect,I thought I was going crazy".

"When you are done,come join us ,for dinner".

She pecked my forehead and left the room.

I jumped happily, tossing my pillow here and there,I took a closer look at the pic.I bacame very worried,the picture was a happy graduation pic,everyone was laughing except her,with wet eyes,two students were pointing at her.

"She's with her real parents,so she will be good I guess"i thought out loud but still  I got this feeling that everything isn't good with her.

I mean in this judgemental world, it's obvious she was bullied or body shamed by the photographer,I felt her emotions in this pic and had the scene flash back.

Sometimes it happens like flashes, my finger was injured with a ring mark when I've ever wore a ring on my engagement finger,I thought it's just me,overthinking but its now clear.

Another me is out there,and I am going to help her boost her confidence.

"Shell!!,you coming?"

Mom's voice called.

"Will be there in a minute".

I yelled out,I smiled back once again at the picture and got up,arranged my bed and walked out of the room,heading to the dining.