I CAN'T LET HIM SAVE US

MILENA'S POV

There was silence for what felt like eternity but was probably only just a minute.

The sound of the bustling environment faded into nothing as we stared at each other.

My lips were slightly parted and I tried to understand what he had just said. I tried. I really tried but instead of an answer, a laugh forced it's way past my lips.

My eyes crinkled at the corners as I laughed then the smile was wiped off my face in mere seconds. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

He rubbed the back of his neck, looking everywhere but me. "Lena. You know I wish I was but you and I both know that we can't do it how you think…"

I hated the fact that he was right.

"I would take the risk if I could but…" He paused and shook his head, defeat crossing his features.

Easy for him to say.

Without thinking, I stepped forward and poked him in the chest with my finger. "Do you think for one second that I would ever get married to you again?" I hissed, my voice low.

He didn't flinch, he matched my gaze and shook his head. "Milena, I know what you're feeling anㅡ"

"ㅡNo, you don't!" I cut him off before I took a step back, my gaze hardened. "You know what, Damien? Fuck you…"

He blinked. Once . Twice. Then he sighed, rubbing his face with his palms. "Let's just talk, Milena. You're letting your stubbornness cloud your judgment… let me see hㅡ"

Before I could utter another word, the door to the doctor's office opened and Theo stepped out, clutching his teddy bear as he stared between Damien and I before he clutched the ends of my shirt. "Mum…" he whispered.

I stepped in front of him immediately and looked at Damien whose eyes were wide as he tried to lean to the side to catch a glimpse of Theo who was behind me. "Hey there…" Damien whispered, his voice cracking as a smile spread his lips, faltering slightly at the sides.

Theo peeked out from behind me then he withdraw back, his fingers clutching my shirt even tighter.

"Forget this. This was a mistake. I will find a donor for my son. I do not need you, Damien" I said, pulling Theo back into the doctors office and closing the door behind me before Damien could say another thing.

The doctor was on a call with someone but he rounded up then turned to me with a raised brow. "How did it work out? Have you both figured out something?" He asked.

"Sit" I muttered to Theo, helping him onto the chair before I sat beside him. "Yes, we did talk and no, I do not want Damien as my child's donor"

The look on the doctor's face morphed into one of confusion and he sighed. "I wouldn't say you have much of a choice. You've been looking for years, this is your best shot, you don't know when he'll give up aㅡ"

"ㅡDon't" I cut him off, my voice tight as his words registered. I couldn't lose himㅡwouldn'tㅡEver. "He won't give up, he's a strong boy…" My gaze darted to Theo who looked like he would rather be anywhere but here.

The doctor followed my gaze and he shook his head. "I understand the dynamics between you and Mr Damien but if you could please put that behind you for the sake of your child… just for a while"

I snapped my head back to the doctor and disbelief clouded my expression. "Did he… did you know about what he suggested?"

The doctor hesitated and that told me everything I needed to know. "It's the only way. Just for a few months until we're done with his treatment then you both can go your separate ways"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, without even thinking, I was up on my feet, anger clouding my features. "Continue the search. I'll wait for my doctor to get here"

The man pinched his nose bridge. "Miss Carter…"

I didn't wait to hear any other thing. "Let's go, baby" I pulled Theo up, gave the man a glare and walked out of this office.

The smell of antiseptic hit me first and I looked around the hospital. Damien was nowhere to be found and I sighed in relief. At least he wasn't here to ruin my mood anymore.

My heart ached when I felt Theo tug at my sleeves. I wanted to save him. I needed to save him. But I didn't want to tie him down legally to Damien. Not even for a day. There had to be some other option.

"I'm hungry…" Theo muttered, looking around the sterile hallways.

I shut my eyes for a second to try to ground myself to keep myself from bursting into tears. Fuck, this was news that I had waited two years to get. I finally had it. The person who could save my son but yet it seemed so farㅡ Like a candy treat dangling in front of a kid but couldn't risk grabbing it.

I don't think I had ever been this conflicted and it was taking me everything not break down right now because I just watched my only solution walk away.

"C'mon baby, do you want icecream?" I asked, leaning down to his height while forcing a smile for his sake.

He looked up at me for a second then he looked back down at his feet. "No… no ice cweam…" He mumbled, tripping over his words.

A sad smile spread my lips as I heard what he had to say and I ruffled his hair. "Let's get you back to the hotel room then we'll discuss what you want to eat, okay? You can get anything you want" I assured him.

He looked up at me and his eyes widened. "I don't want to come… to… to hospital again. Can we, mummy?"

I stared straight ahead, my heart constricting in my chest. "Don't worry, baby. Soon"

Soon.