3

Celia

I’d been on the bus for way too long, and I was exhausted. The trip had taken almost 30 hours because of storms in several states, and I’d had to change buses in Chicago. That had been an adventure all on its own. I climbed down off the local bus I’d picked up at the bus station around lunchtime and forgot all about how exhausted I was.

I wandered around like Alice in Wonderland for so long that by the time I did get to the dorm, I was barely able to make my feet move. I wanted nothing more than to make my bed, order a pizza, and pass out. But that would mean I’d continued my old habit of comfort eating.

I hated it, it was never about eating out of hunger, but more to make me feel good, or to quench that sudden urge. It never really made me feel good, though, because not only would I regret it every time I put on my pants and found out they were a little bit tighter, but the guilt of eating so much garbage, would always weigh heavy on my mind.

“Shit!” I yelped as I tried to open the door to my new room. I had too much in my hands and every bit of it fell as I reached to stick the key in the doorknob.

My purse was over my arm, my phone in one hand, and my rolling suitcase clutched between the two, while my other hand grasped the packet the guy at the front of the door had given me, along with my keys. I hadn’t even managed to get the door open, and I was already making a mess.

The door swung open, and a girl peered out at me. “Hey, you must be Celia. Let me help you.”

Great! My new roommate had caught me red-handed, and now knew that I was a klutz as everything I held had dropped to the floor. I wasn’t that great at making first appearances, but I had wanted to today, of all days.

“Rachel? Hey, I thought you were coming in after the first semester?” I said as I dropped down to pick up the things I’d dropped.

We’d exchanged emails once we were assigned our rooms and I knew a little about her. Like me, she had financial aid and we seemed to share a lot of the same interests. Like me, she was studying so she could be the first one in her family to go have a university education and she loved to eat. She claimed to love chocolate and by the look of her, I thought that she didn’t enjoy chocolate as much as I did. She was a perfect size 6, maybe an 8 at a push, with dark brown hair and matching eyes.

She was everything that I wasn’t, and my nerves started to kick in again.

“Yeah, I’m Rachel. I decided to go ahead and come early, since the dorm room had to be paid for anyway. Let me help you.”

I nodded as we both bent down. I put my phone back together, grabbed my bag which revealed the extra 50 dollars that my mom gave me, and would have to last me until Monday. Everyone in our family had pulled together to help send me here, but the thing is that we were all kind of…forgetful and clumsy sometimes. My uncle was supposed to put money in my account before I left home, but he didn’t remember so I had to wait until Monday now.

I didn’t mind, I was grateful for everything that they’d done for me. I may not be rich like most of the kids in college in terms of money, but I sure as hell was rich in love.

“Sorry,” I whispered as I stood back up. My daydream wasn’t going to happen, I thought. The one that I’d been dreaming about as soon as I left home. My tearful departure and the idea of going to pastures new, was exciting and frightening at the same time.

“Yeah. I’m not the best at organizing myself. I spend a little too much time with the books and not enough on me.” She winked and gave me a reassuring smile as she packed my bag and handed it to me. “You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You’re just nervous. It took my mom an hour to leave. And even then, we’re meeting up tomorrow. I don’t know who’s more nervous about me being here, her or me?”

She laughed nervously as she stood up and walked away.

I was shocked at how open she was with me and we’d only just really met. Sure, we’d talked in emails, but I still wasn’t used to this openness. Back in high school, the kids either ignored me or constantly made fun of me. The idea of someone my age being kind to me, made me feel better. Made me feel like a person and not a thing. The only time kids did speak to me back then was to ask me to help them with their homework or exams. I did it thinking that in time, we could be friends but it never failed that they were just using me.

“Yeah, my mom was the same, but New York’s so expensive…”

“She couldn’t afford to come.”

I nodded to let her know she was right and thought about what my Nan said, before I left home.

“There’s no shame in being poor, but there’s more shame in being ashamed of being poor.”

“Yeah, but once I get a job and things work their way out, she can come. Then, I’ll get her here in no time.”

She agreed, as she started to excitedly go through her papers, “Don’t you worry, we’ll figure it out. There’s lots of opportunities for us here. We just have to see where we fit in.”

I liked the idea of the word we.

“Here, I printed some of them off at the office I was working at before I came.”

I listened and read intensively as she guided me through them. I realized that I’d made the right choice. Rachel was turning out to be a friend, quicker than I could I have hoped for. I had nothing to be nervous about anymore, just someone to enjoy being with and that was my new roommate.