3

Tessa

The polyamory idea was still on my mind a few hours later. I’d showered, changed into pajamas, and had made myself a rather large chocolate daquiri to sip on as I stared at my computer, trying to find new ideas that didn’t involve me asking awkward questions. I wasn’t afraid to ask them, but if I could get out of this without having to talk to people about a subject I knew fuck all about that would be great. 

My curiosity was piqued, however, and about an hour into useless research on improving newspaper subscription numbers I typed in the words: ‘polyamory’ and ‘stories’. I expected my search results would be full of pornography, but there were some really good articles that gave me some ideas. I wasn’t sure how the idea would go over at the paper. I’d have to run it by Jenny, of course, but she couldn’t nix the subjects we chose. I was more worried about the other writers at the paper, what kind of grief I’d get from them. 

I heard the front door open, the sound of keys being pulled out of the front door, and looked up with surprise when someone knocked on my door. 

“Come in,” I called out, thinking it was Cheryl back from her tutoring session. 

I was surprised when I saw Kim, instead. It was unusual for her to be home at this time, she should be tongue-deep in some guys mouth by now. 

“What’s up, girl? You thought about that idea we were talking about earlier?” She walked into the room, dropped her bag, and slid down onto the small chair at my desk. 

Our rooms were all the same, small, but not so small that we couldn’t have our own private desk, a twin-sized bed, a closet, and one large dresser. All of my furniture was cheap and white, but it suited my purposes. She sat in the cheap desk chair and looked at me closely, as if my face would give away some secret.

“Why are you so interested?” I asked with a confused laugh. Normally, Kim was a good friend, but she could be very self-involved. She rarely asked me about my reports or how my work at the paper was going. 

I think that was a clue as to what I should do, if even Kim was this interested. 

“Because, it’s taboo isn’t it?” She rolled her eyes, but I could see a sparkle of delight in her eyes. She really was interested. “There’s so many aspects you could investigate, research…,” 

Her words trailed off and her eyes drilled into me. 

“What, you think I should be the one to do the polyamoring?” I’d just made a word up, but I didn’t care. 

“Maybe, if you can’t get someone to talk to you about it.” She smiled, pleased with her idea so much she started to swivel on my chair.  

“Why, Kim?” I asked, but I knew. I was a virgin and for some reason that bothered her. It had never bothered me, I wasn’t desperate to get rid of it, but I wasn’t hanging onto it for sentimental reasons either. I just hadn’t had time to do anything about it. 

“Because, you have to have sex at some point, why not be your own research subject?” She prodded and leaned towards me, finished with swiveling for now. 

“Because that’s too personal?” I countered, uncomfortable with that.

“But it would be perfect, Tessa!” Kim protested, her nails clacking together as she clasped her hands together in supplication. “Plus, I’d have all the inside information.” 

“Ah, that’s it, then.” I grinned, understanding now. “You want the dirty details.” 

“I’d do it myself, but I think it’s an angle to explore. I’m more experienced, so it’s not going to be that different for me, really, but if it was you…,” 

“Hm. I doubt I could talk many men into forming a polyamorous relationship with me just for a story.” 

“You wouldn’t have to tell them,” she countered quickly, but I shook my head.

“No, that would be dishonest, and I can’t do that.” I shook my head in protest, uncomfortable with the whole idea really. 

Sure, now that the idea was planted I couldn’t stop thinking about it. How would I want it to be? One guy at a time, or both together? Would the men allow that? Would the want more women involved to? I had questions that I’d never thought about now, and I hadn’t even looked into the human sexuality classes aspect yet. The longer I thought about it, the more I wanted to do this story, but I wasn’t sure if I could do it. 

“What are you going to do?” She asked finally and leaned back into the chair to swivel some more. 

“I’ll try to find someone to answer my questions, maybe do a survey, see what kind of interest there would be, what we could do online and in the paper together, maybe. I’ve been reading about mixing the mediums and think that might be the way to go. I just have to find people willing to talk about it all on record.” 

“Oh, there should plenty of people willing to do that,” she brushed the concern aside, but I wasn’t so sure. Not in our university community, anyway. I’d never heard about anything like it, but then, would I? I’m sure most people weren’t out screaming about how they had more than one romantic partner at a time. Though, that was a simplification of the whole thing, from what I’d read so far. 

I knew we were at a liberal university and the student population was an eclectic mix of all kinds of students that got along well, but were there many polyamorous couples on campus? I wasn’t sure, but I’d have to find out, one way or another, if I wanted to do this story.  

“Do you think so?” I asked doubtfully, not as sure as she seemed to be. 

“I think so. Look at some of those clubs listed online at the university’s website. Or one of those websites online for kinks.” She said that last part as if anyone would know about them.

“What sites?” I frowned, not sure what she was talking about, despite the casual way she’d said it. 

“You know, those websites for kink communities, fetishes if you prefer.” She rolled her eyes a little when she figured out that I had no idea what she was talking about. 

“Oh. I guess, well,” I sputtered, feeling stupid now. Of course, there’d be websites, there were websites for everything wasn’t there? “I guess I could look for something like that.” 

“Try this one,” she showed me her phone with a site already open, “or this one.” 

A flick of her finger showed another, and I looked up at the woman I’d known for so long but had no clue she was involved in any sites or kinks. Fetishes, as she’d said.  “You’re a very adventurous person, aren’t you, Kim?” 

“My parents were never the puritan type.” She winked at me, and crossed her long legs, on display in a short black skirt, with a black top that was more scraps of cloth than a shirt. She was sexy, beautiful, and I admired her for it all. 

“I know, mine weren’t either, not really. I just never had the chance, you know?” I looked away. “I’ve just always been focused on attaining my dreams.” 

“Sometimes, you need to take a break from life, Tessa, or you’re going to break.” She noted sagely with a short nod of her head. “You have to look up and see what the world has to offer beyond what you want. Because there’s always more out there, right? Or a different path to the goal you want to reach. Doggedly trying to stay on one path and one path alone isn’t the way right now. It just doesn’t make sense to keep trying. I think, as you said, that you need to mix it between online and in the paper.” 

“I think that would be the best way, yes.” I sat back on the white cotton of my pillows, and for the first time noticed exactly how very white my room was. Everything was white, almost blinding, even in the darkness. I had to look away and my eyes locked onto the blue of Kim’s gaze. It was a spot of color, at least. I had to do something about that, I thought with a frown. It was too white in this room, even if it was my own fault. 

“If I can help you out, I will.” She said as she looked back at me. “I really do think it will be a great story for you. And a lot of fun for all of us.” 

She laughed and I joined in with her. “I can’t believe I’m actually thinking about this. My dad will probably die of shame.” 

“Why?” She frowned but smiled at the same time. “Because your daddy’s little girl, or because it’s not some war story like he did?” 

It wasn’t said with nastiness, just curiosity. “No, because it’s not award-winning material.” 

“Why not? It could be a game-changer for you and the paper. People want to know stuff like this, and there’s a whole web of other paths to go down with this lifestyle. It’s not all about the sex, after all, it’s about the emotions involved, the ability to juggle more than one relationship, the other roads you could possibly go down.” Kim replied, trying to console me. 

“Maybe you’re right.” I answered, but I wasn’t really convinced. I was fairly certain I wanted to do the story now I just wasn’t sure what my dad would have to say about it. 

“Do you think he’ll want to read it?” She asked softly her voice drawing my gaze. 

“Probably, he always wants to read what I write.” I wasn’t normally shy about letting my dad look over my work, but this would be different. It might just be too weird for both of us.

“If I can help, just let me know.” Kim stood up and stretched her arms over her head with a yawn, revealing a taut smooth stomach. I looked away, up to her face. “I’m going to have a shower and get to bed. It’s been a long day.” 

She didn’t go on about what had made her day so long, so I wasn’t sure I should prod. She was home early, which was unusual for her, but not noteworthy, it happened sometimes. “Are you alright?” 

I asked the question anyway in case she needed to talk. Kim nodded her head, and smiled. “Yeah, just too many long nights out lately. I got chewed out over my grades today. Dad’s not happy about those. I guess I need to stop partying so much all the time.”

“If I can help, just let me know.” I’d helped her with some of her classes and papers before when her grades slipped and I’d be happy to do it again. 

“Thanks, I’ll let you know.” She waved her hand, picked up her bag, and walked out of the room with a final backwards smile. “G’night.” 

“Night, Kim, sleep well.” I smiled as she closed the door and looked down at my computer. I waited until I heard the shower turn on and then I began to type into the search bar of my search engine. 

I typed in the information the site she’d showed me asked for and thought about a username. I wasn’t taking any of it seriously, so I just made up a name and added some numbers behind it. This was just research, that was all. I had no real interest in taking part in any of the things I might find on the site. Well, not really, I thought as I stared at some of the pictures that appeared when the site opened up for me. 

My heart raced a little as I saw picture after picture of sexual activities, things I’d never dreamed about people doing. My eyes were wide and my palms sweaty as I saw pictures of group sex and clicked on those. There were stories with some of the pictures, details about how the event had unfolded and I had to admit, some of the stories the posters added were really hot. 

I tucked my bottom lip between my teeth as I continued to ready and pressed my thighs together. The pressure didn’t ease the ache there, though, it only made it worse. I listened to see if the house was quiet and found it was. I plugged in my headphones, paid the access f*e to watch the videos with a debit card, and began to watch.

I expected to hear and see women being used as sex toys and nothing more, but what I found was so much more. Women were being treated as goddesses, not as receptacles for a man’s pleasure, and that was really a surprise. I’d always thought the guys would take over and treat the woman like she was an object when they were together like that. Some of the videos were a little…terrible in quality, boring even, but others were really good. 

There was one threesome that I watched quite a bit of. They had an entire collection of videos that I started to go through. The threesome caught my eye because the woman looked a little like me. She had a similar frame to me with a similar heart-shaped face I had. Her eyes were also brown and her hair curly. When she turned away from the camera, I could imagine it was me between those two well-built, and very well-endowed, men. It was me that was being touched, caressed, kissed, and most definitely fucked with such passion. Because there was passion there, this wasn’t just three people getting off with each other, there was genuine emotion there, genuine desire, and it was obvious. This wasn’t just filth, it was art. Kind of. 

Maybe art was too far, I don’t know, but I know my body responded to it, which I hadn’t expected at all. This was something I could accept, something that wasn’t just exploitation as I’d kind of assumed it would be. 

I thought about it for a few minutes, then looked at another video. This was two women and man. As I thought, the man wanted to be the center of attention in this situation, but in another, I saw what I’d hoped to see. Three people enjoying each other completely. This might be an aspect I could sell, the unexpected, the beauty of it all. Maybe the idea was a better one than I had originally thought it would be. I’d dismissed it, but was it really that dumb of an idea? I had started to think it wasn’t.