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Munich, Germany, April 2019

Her heart was pounding in her ears. Her hands were cold, despite that morning being bright and sunny. She was hyperventilating. It was as if she forgot how to breathe. 

She then decided to roll down the cab window, trying so hard to calm herself as she leaned her back onto the car seat.

It was the last week of April, just a few more weeks before spring ended in Germany. Cool, fresh breeze brushed her cheeks. She closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of spring.

The wind whipped into a flurry and gently blew on the back of her head as the cab took a turn. Her light chestnut, shoulder-length hair got tousled up in the air, some of it falling in front of her face. It prompted her to tuck some of her stray locks into the back of her ears while she safety pressed her EarPods, listening to "River" by Leon Bridges.

She has been waiting to make this trip her whole life. For the past couple of weeks, she wasn't able to sleep well. She spent hours upon hours on Google Maps, trying to familiarize the place. She was super excited. But more than that, she was anxious. 

Three knocks, and two doorbell rings. Unit 12C. 

She stood outside a dark blue door, removing her backpack and putting it on top of her small turquoise luggage.

She was out of breath, having climbed three flights of stairs.

Finally, someone cracked open the door after a few minutes. A guy who looked like he just woke up peeked his head first, as if making sure that someone was indeed ringing on his unit. Also, it was just a quarter past 7am - while 7am is already a little too late for the working class in the Philippines, 7am is still considered an ungodly hour for Germans, too early to wake up or even to get to work.

"You must be Aya?" Her CouchSurfing host greeted her sleepily. He then fully opened the door and reached out his hand with a smile. "I'm Lou." He was just in gray track pants and a dark brown long-sleeved shirt that matched his hair. He looked as if he's just came out of bed, literally. But in a nice way. Like, I woke up like this way.

It was Aya's first time in Germany. It was also her first attempt at

CouchSurfing. She of course wanted to find a host that didn't look like a creep, or an axe-murderer for that matter. So when she saw Lou's profile and found out that he was also Filipino-German, and almost about the same age as her, she contacted him immediately. Besides, she wanted to save all the money she could for this trip. Her budget was stretched enough just so she could finally hop on a plane to Munich.

"Hi Lou, nice to finally meet you." She greeted, trying to stir up a friendly smile as she took in his hand for a shake. "Aya."

"Come in, Aya. I'll get your luggage." He grabbed Aya's back and shoved her in. That sent delicious tingles down her entire body.

"Oh, thank you. That's okay, konti lang naman 'to," she stepped inside as Lou tried to take her only luggage and one duffel bag.

"Wow, you pack light for a girl," Lou commented, looking suprised as he carried her bags.

It was warm and comfortable inside. She passed by a narrow hallway that led to the kitchen. Across from it was the living room, which had double doors leading to a balcony. Then there were two bedrooms. Some walls were bare, polished concrete while others were just flat white.

"Feel at home. Mi casa su casa," he ushered her in the living room and placed her luggage, backpack and duffel bag beside the velvet emerald green couch, hiding the wilted monstera plant in plain sight. "I can sleep here, and you can take my room. Here, let me get your coat."

She pulled out her coat and handed it to Lou. "I'm okay with the couch, don't worry. And thank you," she smiled.

"You sure? Well, if you're not comfortable just tell me. Okay?" he smiled back at her then hung her coat on the wooden coat hanger beside the main door. 

The bedroom door near the couch opened, a tall blonde guy about their age went out of the room, also wearing track pants and looked like he was headed out for a jog. 

"Oh, and this is my flatmate, Bartosz." He introduced. "Bartosz, this is Aya, she'll be our CouchSurf buddy for a week."

"Guten morgen," Bartosz waved and smiled at her.

"Hi, nice to meet you." She greeted and beamed back at him.

"Would you like some coffee? Juice? Tea?" Lou was already walking toward the shelves to grab a cup. "I bet you're having a terrible jet-lag."

"Oh, coffee would be great. Thank you." She smiled at Lou. "Your place looks great, it's near the city too." Her eyes scanned the room, it was pretty obvious guys lived here.

"It's my parents place, but they're both retired in the Philippines now - so I get to manage everything here." Lou smiled back at her and held up his index finger, as if asking for a minute. He placed a fresh filter on the coffee maker and set two cups on the counter.

Aya found herself stepping out the double doors to the balcony and rested her elbows onto the railing. She looked out of the apartment building, staring into the morning sky. 

She hasn't figured out exactly what to do yet. She tried to play it out in her head a million times over... what she would do, what she would say, how she'd say it.

A couple of moments later, Lou stepped out and handed her her cup of coffee, breaking her reverie. He's now wearing a gray university hoodie over his dark brown shirt, stating the letters LMU. 

"And from here, if you'll just squint your eye a little bit, you'll see the Bavarian Alps." He pointed out into the horizon, the early morning sun hitting his gray eyes. There was a tinge of green in them.

Aya turned her gaze into the faint slopes of the Alps. "It's so beautiful," she gasped, almost a whisper. It was indeed beautiful. The sun has risen high up, but it still cast a haze of pinks, purples and blues in the sky. She's always loved art, but that sky wasn't art. It was real. And she was there to see it with her own eyes.

"So," Lou leaned onto the metal railing, close to her by a few inches. Incredibly close. "Bartosz and I are both on a two-week break from Uni, so if you need a guide we can take you, anywhere." He said brightly, then took a sip from his own coffee cup.

"Salamat," she took a sip from her cup too. She loved the feeling of the warm cup against her chilly fingers.

"We will be hitting the groceries later." He offered her some slices of sourdough, and when she shook her head, Lou took a bite from it. He looked cute, it made her smile. "Do you want to come with us?" Lou asked, munching on his bread.

She thought for a moment about joining Lou and Bartosz at the groceries, then eventually shrugged. She felt a little shy and awkward. "I'll pass, but thank you for inviting me to come with you guys. I... I think I'm going to sleep for a few hours. I wasn't really able to catch a good sleep on the plane." She grinned, it was the truth. She was jittery the whole time. 

"Alright, then. You can doze off in my room. I'm headed out anyway." He smiled back at her again. It was so magnetic. His gray eyes gleamed, and his skin glowed like amber in the morning light. "You take a good rest. We'll be back before you know it." He guaranteed.

"Thank you, Lou. I'll let myself in." Aya muttered mindlessly, admiring the view.

---

When she opened her eyes, she thought she was still dreaming. She didn't have an idea where she was at first. Her bedroom looked different - everywhere she fixed her gaze was different, and it was cold. Suddenly she realized where she was and checked her phone. 

It was already 7:28pm. Shit. 

She scrambled up to her feet and grabbed some of her clothes from her luggage. 

Aya hurriedly went to Lou's bathroom, taking a quick shower and brushing her teeth.

She was asleep for almost eleven hours.

"Hey, Aya. You're just in time," Lou greeted her with a big smile as she stepped out of his bedroom. He was now wearing a mustard sweater and black jeans. His top complimented his messy, wavy dark brown hair. "Did you sleep well?" 

She nodded with an awkward half-grin, her hands in the back pockets of her jeans.

"Dinner's almost ready," Bartosz cheerfully announced, carrying a bowl of pasta in one hand and a pitcher of cranberry juice on the other. 

Bartosz was tall, huge and chunky like a bear. He and Lou must be working out, she thought. She saw some weights on the balcony earlier. Though unlike Bartosz, Lou's physique was lanky, not too much muscle everywhere. He looked perfectly fit and just with the right amount of beef in his biceps.

"I guess I was too tired to have slept out the whole day. I'm terribly sorry." She then realized there was another person in the room with them.

"Oh, Aya this is Marta, Bartosz's girlfriend," Lou introduced.

"Hâllo," she smiled. Just like Bartosz, she was blonde, but slender with delicate and very soft and feminine features. She looked more Nordic than German, with her blue-gray eyes and very light hair that seemed to glow a faint halo under the kitchen's fluorescents.

They exchanged pleasantries as she walked towards Lou by the sink, offering to help with the salad that he was preparing.

Dinner was nice, and she was full. Lou cooked really good pasta. Aya finally was able to relax. She exchanged small talk with her new friends, talked about her work as an 8-to-5 digital artist back in the Philippines. 

Both Lou and Bartosz are studying post-grad for their doctorate in Psychology in the Ludwig-Maximillian University. There were constant bantering and arguing about how good or bad the recent episodes of Game of Thrones were, and in agreement of how The Twilight Zone and Breaking Bad were the best TV series ever. They cracked up at some jokes too. Bartosz was constantly making fun at how single Lou was for months. 

Lou got all defensive, claiming he just wanted to take a break from serious relationships.

Then there were moments in between conversations where she caught Lou's gray eyes at her. It made Aya blush - and a bit uncomfortable. But she liked how his glances made her feel. 

---

"How are you enjoying Germany so far?" Lou asked, walking up behind her.

She went up on the rooftop after doing the dishes, it was the least she could do for her very accommodating host. 

She really wanted to go somewhere, where she could hear herself think. She was sitting by the wicker chairs and was staring up into the indigo-blue night sky, dotted with a burst of bright stars. 

She smiled at Lou, already taking the seat beside her. "I wanted to see how Munich looks at night. Sobrang ganda pala talaga." 

Across their apartment building, the city skyline sparkled. Lights from buildings miles away glimmered, while silhouettes and shadows of some of the Gothic and Art-deco architectures can be seen peeking through the city's nightscape.

"Well, do you want to go out?" Lou asked, almost a suggestion. "We can go and have drinks by the local pub, just two blocks from here."

She smiled and shook her head. "Nope, this will do." She reached for the beer on the table and raised it to Lou, they clinked bottles. "Prost!"

"Prost!" Lou took a sip. "Hey, Aya, loosen up, drink, smile. You look like you're always on edge," he smiled, and she obliged with the drink. She's actually finished half the bottle already.

She felt chilly, and she propped the knitted scarf around her neck. "Sorry, I'm just like this. I don't say what's on my mind quite as much as I'd like to."

"Hey, I was just kidding," he stared at her with purpose, trying to make things less awkward than it already was. "So, Aya, what brings you to Germany?"

"Well, there's plenty of things." She took a deep breath before answering. 

There were a million fucking things, she thought. "First, I made a promise to myself that before I turn twenty-five, I should have already stepped foot in Europe." She answered, her lips curved into a smile. "I'm a year late, but here I am, so I think that's okay."

"So... like a bucket list thing?" Lou beamed back at her.

"That leads me to the second reason I'm here," she took a sip from her beer. "I, um... I came here to meet my father," she paused for a moment. "He, uh, left me and my mom when I was barely a year old." Her gaze dropped on the table. "So this is the culmination of my life, you know. Searching for someone I haven't known all my life. And wondering if that person I missed out on, will he finally make me complete once I've met him?"

Lou's lips were pressed into a thin line. "That's rough, Aya," his eyes still fixed on her. "But I admire you, really. And thank you for sharing that with me," he was trying to assess her psychologically.

"So, Mr. Doctorate-in-Social-Psychology, how am I for a social experiment-slash-evaluation?" she joked, as if reading his mind.

"You're doing okay," he laughed. He opened up another bottle and handed it to her. "I'm wishing you luck in finally meeting your dad."

Lou tapped Aya on the shoulder. It sent a pleasant tingle down her spine. 

"That's the thing though," Aya's hazel eyes met Lou. "He doesn't even know that I'm here,"

All of a sudden, there was alarm - and sadness, even, in her eyes. Lou saw through them, he wanted to look away for a moment. It made him feel sad and uncomfortable too. But as her eyes fixed on him, he wanted to console her. He wanted to just look at her eyes and get lost in them.

"I honestly don't know what to tell him, once I've finally meet him in person," Aya fished something out from her passport and phone holder. "All I've got is this letter and some photos of him and my mom. It has his address, here in Munich, where he and my mom met," she flipped the photo and stared at the writings at the back. "I've done some research about him online, and apparently he still lives in the same address. My mom was a nurse here in Munich a lifetime ago, while my father was a professor."

Lou reached for the photo and the piece of paper and read the address, it was about an hour and a half drive from where his place was. "Are you planning to go and meet him tomorrow?"

"Maybe, or the day after, maybe even never," she joked as she took another drink, finishing her second bottle. Alcohol started to kick in her system. "If I just gather enough courage."

They both smiled at each other. 

"I'll drive you there," Lou told her, there was warmth in his voice that just melted her like soft butter. "I insist."

Aya pursed her lips, and answered with a smile.

---

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

CouchSurfing is a global homestay and social networking service accessible via a website and mobile app. Members can request lodging publicly or directly from other members, "hangout" with other members, or join/create events. The platform is also used for casual dating; harassment is against the terms of service.

Filipino to English Translations:

"konti lang naman 'to" - these are just few (literal translation)/ It really isn't that much.

"Salamat" - Thank you

"Sobrang ganda pala talaga" - It's just so beautiful.

"Prost!" (GERMAN) - Cheers!

"Mi casa su casa" (SPANISH) - My home is your home.