Chapter 33

Max's POV

The flames in the firepit pop and jump, sparks drifting up to scatter among the stars. The night is alive with noise, laughter and the hum of conversation. Zahra is home. Her presence has pulled everyone together, strung a cord of energy through the group that feels almost like the old days, before everything broke apart.

Her friends Sienna and Abby joined us for dinner, their voices carrying brightly over the chatter. The full unit is here with their mates, my parents too, and Ralph and Noah with theirs. The garden is crowded, warm, and filled with food and firelight. For once it does not feel suffocating. For once I feel almost safe.

Luna Alison and Lacy prepared enough food to feed an army: roast beef, potatoes, corn, salads stacked high. I ate more than I should have, because the taste was grounding, real, something to remind me that I am still part of this pack, of this family, even if I feel like a ghost among them most days. Tonight, has eased something in me, cracked open a corner of the cage I built around my heart. A thin sliver of light sneaks through the dark, and it is all because of her.

Zahra’s laughter carries across the fire. Her face glows, eyes dancing as she leans in close to Sienna and Abby. She is radiant, and she cracks me open just by being here. She numbs, if only for a moment, the poison that runs in my veins every time I see Xander with Helena.

Fucking Helena. I still cannot believe she followed him home from Alpha College. She clings to him like a vine choking a tree, whining when she feels left out, sneering at the people she cannot hope to measure against. Everything about her sets my teeth on edge. I have to physically restrain myself from walking away every time she opens her mouth. The sight of her hand in his, the thought of her body against his, makes me want to drink myself blind.

I tell myself not to look, not to care, but I cannot stop. My eyes go to Xander without permission. It kills me. I still love him. Goddess help me, I always will. Breaking up with him was the biggest mistake of my life. I thought I was protecting him. I thought my guilt over Sebastian’s death meant I had no right to be happy, no right to love him. But the truth is I am still chained to both. The grief, the guilt, the love. It eats me alive, every single day.

Alpha College only makes it worse. The king and Alpha Lucas shoved me into the Alpha track, their sights set on me co-leading the merged packs alongside Xander. I sit in classes with heirs who will never understand the weight I carry. I drag myself through endless lectures about diplomacy and strategy when all I want to do is drown the memories in the bottom of a bottle. And every damn day I have to see him. I have to watch him sit with her, kiss her, laugh with her, while I rot from the inside out.

So, I drink. I isolate. I turn down invitations, lock myself in my room, and pour glass after glass until the world blurs. It does not fix anything, but for a while it dulls the edges of the blade I live on.

Tonight, I force myself to sit here, to be present, even though every nerve in me screams to run. Across the fire Zahra sits with Mara, Elodie, Renee, Sienna and Abby. They have formed a little knot of light and warmth, huddled together, ignoring the men and—thankfully—Helena. The fact none of them seem to like her either gives me a petty surge of satisfaction.

About half an hour ago, Xander lost patience with Helena’s huffing and her sharp little comments about being excluded. He took her hand and disappeared with her into the dark. The image of them alone makes my stomach turn, my dinner threaten to rise. I grip the arms of my chair until my knuckles ache and force myself not to follow.

A lull falls over the group, the chatter thinning. Then faint shouts echo from beyond the tree line. Every head snaps up. The sound is distant but sharp to our ears. Instinct takes over. Every wolf in the garden is on their feet in seconds, shoulders squared, eyes sweeping the shadows. Defensive stances ripple through the group like a wave.

I catch sight of Alpha Lucas, Delta Greg, and my father. Their eyes glaze briefly as they mind link. A beat later Lucas straightens, confusion flashing across his face.

“The warriors and patrols are all in position. All accounted for. No threat detected.”

The others nod, tension loosening a fraction. Then the shouts sharpen into a high-pitched wail. I know that voice. From the expression tightening Luna Alison’s face, she knows it too.

“For Goddess’ sake,” she huffs, already striding toward the house. “It’s that bloody girl.”

Gamma Austin follows her at once, jaw set,

The rest of us begin to settle back, the tension easing as Henry shifts in behind Zahra’s chair, standing guard in that quiet way of his. The voices keep rolling around the fire and then Lucas receives another link, letting out a chuckle that sounds almost smug as he says, “Stand down. Xander’s just dumping his girlfriend.”

The adults laugh, shaking their heads, and something shoots through me so fast I almost let myself believe it before I slam it down hard. Medus growls in my head, disappointed by my actions ‘He’s not dumping her for us, dumbass. You know we can’t be with him.' I snap back without thinking, 

'Why the hell not?' he doesn’t gets it,