His Dark Past

I stared at my computer screen for almost an hour, just looking at the photos of one person. 

I drooled and swallowed every single time my eyes fell on his torso, his packs, his v shaped waistline and lastly his mesmerising eyes. 

I could stare at him forever if only I'm giving the chance to. I don't know how I gradually becahe obsessed with this guy, but unfortunately, I am and the worst of it all, is the fact that he is way out of my league. He is someone I shouldn't even dream about. Someone I should do everything I can to forget. But If only I can do that.

The alarm ticked and that immediately snapped me out if my day dream.

I quickly tore my gaze away from my computer and stared at my alarm clock which is on the same table and it says 6:am

"No shit!" I quickly stood up from my chair and dashed to the bathroom. 

I can't believe I used my little sleep in staring at his photos again. I need help, because I think I'm loosing it real quick. 

After I showered, I came out if the bathroom, only to meet a yawning Fred, who is also my roommate. 

"Morning, Gael," he muttered with a yawn. 

"Morning, Fred," I replied with a smile. 

"No way!" 

I froze and quickly turned my gaze towards Fred while dabbing my hair dry. 

"What?" I asked. 

Fred didn't say anything but rather stared in a particular direction. I was forced to look in the direction his gaze travelled to, only to find them on my computer. 

I shut my eyes and cursed under my breath, not again.

"I..isn't that Turstin, I mean the world famous celebrity?"

I put my head down and heaved a long deep as sigh. 

"Yea," I mumbled and quickly walked over to my laptop to shut it down. 

"No don't, I want to see how good he looks now." I rolled my eyes and slowly took my hands off the shut down button. 

"Nice! The guy gets better as the year goes by. But wait a minute, why do you have him on your computer?"

I stared at Fred, short if whrds to speak at that moment because I never expected him to see those photos of him. 

"Don't tell me he's still your celebrity crush, Gael?"

"N..not really I kinda stumbled upon his photos lady night."

Fred gave me a weird look which I could best describe as him not trusting my words. 

"Well, it still wouldn't be a surprise to me if you still like him. I mean the guy only gets better. I think I need to do some research on him. Gael, you have always wanted to be recognised, do you know you will be instantly promoted if you can get an exclusive news from him?"

"Come on, Fred, don't even go there. Turstin isn't someone our little company can write about."

"Never say never. I don't care, I'm doing my research on him. Who knows, somebody you might get an opportunity to an interview with him."

I shook my head at Fred. This is the reason I never wanted him to see the screen in the first place. I knew he was going to go berserk about Turstin and just as I thought, it already happened. 

"Fred, if you really want to do your research on him, I advise you make use of your computer. You know his name, don't you?"

"Yea, no wait! Turstin who again?" Fred asked with a confused look. 

I rolled my eyes again, Fred was just too much. 

"Thought you knew his name?"

"Yes I do, but I'm not you. I haven't seen him for lime three years now, you don't expect me to have an imprint of his surname in my memory, do you?"

"Barclay..." I muttered, lazily. 

"Oh yes, now I remember, Barclay!" Fred grinned and quickly scurried off to his room. 

I breathed a sigh of relief, and picked up my computer. 

"Let's get you into the room, little Barclay," I teased as I took my computer back into my room. 

I stared in the mirror and slowly took off the towel wrapped around my waist. 

Seeing who I really am in the mirror made me feel emotional. I shut my eyes, recalling my past. It was shady part filled with do much pain and hurt. 

Flashback 

"You cannot be my son! I can't believe you have birth to a disgrace and call it my son. I don't even know what to call what you have me as a son!" My father spat, his eyes was bloodshot with anger. I could still see the way he looked at me, it was eyes filled with hate and disappointment. 

My mom did a good job hiding it from him until I was 15years old. I never knew that day would be the day we would be abandoned. Giving birth to someone like me was a disgrace to someone like my father who had to always wanted a male child. Because of that, my mom made sure I never went naked in front of my dad or anyone. She is was the only one who bath mewhoke I was growing up as a child.

She begged the nurse who helped her with childbirth to keep what I was a secret from my father, and the nurse kept her promise.

But as it was said, nothing can be hidden forever. That faithful night, my dad had walked in on me while I was completely naked. He had wanted to show me the new computer he bought me, but when he saw me naked, that instant, all I saw was fear in his eyes. 

He trembled and immediately slumped to the floor, still staring at my private area.

"W.. what are you, why are you having that?!" 

I tried to speak, tried to explain, but the words just wouldn't come out of my mouth. My mom ran into the room when she heard my dad scream. 

"Is this what you have me as a son, Winnie?!"

My mom immediately fell on her knees with tears in her eyes. 

"Please blame me, not my son, please," my mom begged and cried. 

"Son? Look at it closely, I can't refer to him as a man because he's not!"

Those words cut through me like a thousand knives. 

Flashback ends.

I opened my eyes staring in the mirror, my eyes had become red, because I cried. I gently wiped off my tears. 

It wasn't the first time I had cried when I thought of the past. Ten years had passed ever since the incident occurred.