Unrequited Love

Chapter 1

I was staring blankly at the window in my Aunt’s Ancestral House.

While my hands are trembling , It’s started when I realized what time is it.

It's three o'clock in the morning already. "Fucked!" I cursed, I wish I didn’t go with them.

"Kelsy, will you relax?"  My cousin Mika said , I glanced at her but I cant. I was tapping my phone because I was so tensed this time and I told them that I wanted to go home.

"Why are you so tensed?" my cousin, Drey asked.

"I've promised to Lyndon that I will go home before midnight," I told them calmly.

"So you told him that we were together right? We are your cousin." They tapped my back to calm me. 

"I said yes, but you know Lyndon, a promise is a promise to him," crossing my fingers and continued.

"I didn’t know what happened next if Lyndon got mad at me this time."

 We had a cousin’s Bonding in one of my Aunt’s Ancestral House. I told Lyndon that I go home early. As what we talk about but I forgot the time. Im so Fucked up! They know Lyndon, but I know him

Better. Until they drove me home already . When we had reached our destination. I went out of  the car and saying goodbye to them. I told them to take care while driving’ because they were already tipsy that time. We drunk alcoholic, that’s our bonding with my cousins, we were all together.

I entered the house silently and praying that Lyndon is already asleep. And I think I’m already lucky today.

I saw Lyndon was sleeping already. I quickly went to the bathroom, taking a hot shower and already did my thing. When I've done, I saw myself in the mirror and when I turned around I saw many bruises at my back.

"Ahh!" I groaned when I touched my bruises. So I closed my eyes and my tears fall down into my cheeks. When I remember those day’s, how Lyndon made me those bruises. I asked myself? How long can I be a martyr? This is not what I need! Im out of this Bullshit life! Every time he's angry with me even if it a small things, he punished me . When I've remembering my bad memories. I changed my clothes already and go out to the bathroom.

I saw Lyndon waiting for me outside of the bathroom. "You even took a shower, so I wouldn’t smell you having sex with someone else?" Lyndon said. He shouted and Slapped me. “Babe…" I was about to explain but he grabbed my neck and pushed me to the wall .

"You told me that you would be here before midnight, but what happened? You disobeyed me! I agreed you to hang out together with your relatives if you must've come home at the time we agreed upon! How many men have you dated huh!? Did they touched you here in your boobs. Are hey lick your p*ssy? Are they f…cked you hard?! Tell me!"  He shouted in my face and his chocking me. 

"Im sorry," I said while catching my breath. He didn’t say a word but, you could see the anger in his eyes. He let go of me and I thought I was going to pass out.

"Where is your delicay? Don't you have delicacy left in your personality?!" Lyndon said.

"Lyndon, I've  never slept with anyone" I was trying to explained it to him. "I was just had fun with my cousin’s."

"And you didn’t recognize the time?" Lyndon frowned and he immediately grabbed my hair.

I closed my eyes to the extreme pain when he grabbed my hair. I prayed  that  he let him stop from what his doing to me. It hurt’s me so much. I can’t take it anymore. "Please stop!" I was pleading at him.

"You’re a whore!" He shouted. That’s the last word that I  remembered when he hit me in my stomach. Then it went blurred my sight, fainted and fell to the ground.

When I woke up. I  was already in bed. I saw Lyndon, watching me intently like nothing’s had happened last night. “Good Morning Babe" he happily greeted me. "I cooked your favorite food, get up and let's eat". He slowly put the food beside  the near table and smiled at me. “Ly...Lndon." I called him, almost no words came from my voice. “Yes Babe?" he answered.

I pretended to smiled sadly,  it’s like squeezing my heart for Lyndon.  He has a Bipolar Disorder . That’s why when he hit me, later on , it was like nothing happened to him . We’ve been already for almost 4 years now. And we’ve been living for a year now. And He used to hurt me, when his mad but rarely at first. Now its gonna happend almost everyday. I thought he wouldn’t hurt me again  because he said he regretted it. He would say sorry. I couldn't  count how sorry He is...

“Babe, I can’t do this anymore.." He apologized.  I said at the back of my mind , but when I saw his careful movement’s. I just shrugged the thought.  I asked him if he had an appointment with the Doctor? I diverted the atmosphere. 

"Yes Babe  at 1 o'clock in the afternoon." He calmly said .

"Babe lm sorry, I couldn’t , control myself from hurting you. I didn’t mean to... Please don’t leave me." He cried, It hurt’s me so much seeing him like this . But we can’t like this forever. Maybe I'm gonna die too early when I choose to stay with him. It’s been like these, same routine. He hurt me and when his calm, he say sorry and promise not to do it again.

I want to leave him, but I can’t. Because I want him to be okay first until he get’s better. I know his condition from the very first time, but lm so tired Physically and Mentally.