Chapter 5

ETHAN

~Some desires could be ignored, I just didn't know his wouldn't be one of them~

“Killan.” I called out, tapping him uneasily, but his blue eyes flickered between its usual shade and a darker shade.

It was almost like something I couldn't believe.

Something deep down told me to bolt out of here, or perhaps use his weakness as an opportunity to drag him out of my home, but not like this.

I wasn't going to be a coward.

I wasn't going to throw him out when he could barely hold himself up.

“Killan.” I called out again, slightly worried, but he suddenly grabbed my wrist, his long sharp nails tracing over my skin. It was sharp enough to cut, but I knew Killan was still in control.

His breathing was ragged, strained, his fingers clenched as he whispered. “I don't want to h..urt you.” he stuttered, like he was fighting something on the inside.

It was strange how I didn't want to see him this way.

I preferred hearing him yell “Master” than squeeze his face in pain.

“Killan, what's going on?”

“You…your scent.” He stuttered, tightening his grip on my wrist. “It's making…making me loose control.”

And that was my cue to pull away. My entire body stiffened as I tried to make sense of his words. Why would my extremely natural scent make him loose control?

What was he and why was he trying to drive me insane?

Killan suddenly pushed himself up and leaned hard against the wall.

As I stared at his elongated nails, something deep down told me to run. To hide. To find somewhere safe, somewhere far away from this mysterious stranger, but when I stared at his pained expression, his trembling fingers, my heart sank.

I couldn't.

Killan let out a broken growl as he leaned hard against the wall. “Master, I think…I think I'm in heat.”

I took a step backwards. For a moment, I forgot how to breathe. “You're in what?!”

Killan tried to reach for him—like I was his fucking medicine, but I shook my head and pointed at him.

“No. No. “ I yelled. “There's no way I'm saying with an half man in heat. There's no way in staying in the same space with you.”

Killan chuckled weakly. “Then why do you react to my touch each time I touch you?”

His statement was a blow to my face.

It sent a shudder down my spine as I imagined if it was really true. I reacted to his touch, fine, but that didn't mean I wanted him or anything.

I gazed at the silver haired young man and spat. “You are completely out of your mind.”

“But I'm weak, Master.” He pouted. “You can't just say I'm completely out of my mind. “I'm…I'm on heat.”

I rolled my eyes, letting out an exasperated sigh. “And what do you expect me to do about it? Do I look like some girl you can fuck?”

His ears turned red.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and pointed at the door. “Get out and go help yourself.” I was offering him a solution, but he stared at me with his stormy blue eyes instead. He looked like he was battling with something deep down, rather, struggling to blurt out something.

“But Master.” He swallowed, taking a step towards me. “I…I think—”

“Don't.” I shook my head and headed towards my room. Whatever he had to say, I wasn't in the mood to listen to it. Each word that came out of his mouth always found a way to make me speechless.

~~~~~~~~

Throughout the whole day, I didn't bother to step out of my room. I simply burried myself in books till the sky turned grey. And to my greatest surprise, Killan didn't make a single sound.

I didn't see him for hours.

I almost wondered if he had died due to the heat.

I shouldn't worry about him.

Why can't I stop worrying about him?

I focused my gaze on the magazine before me and tried to shut Killan out, but in a few minutes later, I groaned out loud as I tossed the magazine away.

I headed towards my door and pulled the doorknob, but I was surprised to find Killan standing there.

He looked exhausted, drianed, tired.

My heart softened.

Had he been waiting here for hours?

Had he been standing for hours?

He took a step towards me and almost collapsed, but I grabbed his waist to stop him from falling. I led him torwards my bed and sat him down. “Do you even know what you are?”

He hesitated.

He clenched his fists and sucked in a breath. “I do know, but I can't remember anything.”

I frowned. “you don't remember how you got here?”

He shook his head. “I don't even remember my name.”

“But that's impossible.” I muttered, rubbing my jaw. And if he indeed had an accident, his family members should have been searching for him now. He didn't look like an ordinary person. He looked like a lord who should govern the whole world.

Deep down, I was sure he was someone of high importance.

Then why wasn't he over the news?

Why weren't his people searching for him?

I sat down next to him and turned towards him. “What would make you feel better?” I can't believe I'm asking this. Deep down I knew I shouldn't, but he looked so pitiful this way.

I couldn't just leave him to die.

Killan's lips curled up slightly. “Master, I'm afraid you'll freak out if I say it.” He leaned towards me, his eyes landing on my lips. “I'm afraid you'll badly want to bury yourself in your comforter and never wake up again.”

My heart slammed hard against my ribcage.

He knew.

He knew what his words did to me, but he still didn't filter them.

It seemed like he enjoyed it—every reaction, every yell, every rule. But right now, even without him saying it, I could already guess his words.

“Then you don't know me at all.” I whispered, watching as he leaned even closer. “If you think your words are enough to make me run, then you don't know me.”

“But you've been hiding under the rules you make, Master. You keep the rules to make yourself safe. You're afraid of what your emotions would do to you, your thoughts.”

I swallowed hard.

“And even now, you're afraid of what you're feeling.”

“I feel nothing.”

“We both know that's a lie.” His lips stretched into a haunting smirk. “Dear master, I'm on heat, and the only way I can feel better is by pinning you beneath me.”