Chapter 3: The Night Before The Wedding

After dinner, Alexa led me to my room, and I was deeply touched to find that it hadn't changed at all. It was as if I hadn't been gone for eight long years. My paintings, my closet, my books and forgotten sketchpads, the bed, even my favorite floral bed sheet and blanket. Everything was arranged exactly as I had left it. Scanning the room, floods of memories washed over me, from childhood antics to awkward teenage days. I remembered how Mom used to tuck me in at night, how Alexa would sneak in during thunderstorms and steal half my bed, and how I'd hide away to paint on the verandah whenever Dad’s scolding stung too much.

"I'm glad nothing's changed in my room," I said to Alexa, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Mom always made sure it was clean. She never stopped hoping you'd come back." My sister's words warmed me, but a pang of guilt twisted in my gut. "I hope you came home for good now."

"As I told Dad, I'll be heading back to France after your wedding. I was planning to stay for a month, but…with Dad's treatment, I don't think I can manage it." I sighed, frustration bubbling up at the thought of his coldness.

"I guess he was still upset. He expected you to help run the business. You disappointed him."

"You know I'm not like you, Alexa. I have my own dreams, my own passions. Running the business isn't for me."

My gaze drifted to the bed, and suddenly, bitter memories from the past flooded my mind as I stared at the bed and pillows I used to cry on. I remember the last time I cried hard on that same bed was when Kyle broke my heart and my twin sister betrayed me at the same time. I ran to my sister's room to cry on her shoulder, but I ended up being surprised because the man who broke my heart and the person whom I thought I could cry on were making out and had been hiding their relationship from me for months. I confronted Alexa, and we fought. The confrontation that followed was the most brutal fight we'd ever had. Our parents weren't home at that time because they were attending a party. Though Kyle and Alexa both apologized, offered explanations, the truth remained that they had both hurt me deeply. I couldn't bring myself to tell our parents what I'd seen. Despite the pain, I couldn't taint Alexa's perfect image just for revenge. I swallowed the truth, but that betrayal carved a deep chasm into our relationship.

When a big opportunity came, and I was offered a full scholarship in France, I immediately grabbed it, not just to pursue my dream but to forget and move on, too. My father showed opposition to my plan and threatened to cut his support, but that never intimidated me. My dream was the only thing I had at that time, so there's no way I would let that opportunity slip out of my hand. I was glad I stood my ground because I already had what I dreamt of, but the consequence of that action was that I lost my father's trust.

Alexa turned to the window, her voice soft, as if trying to hide her expression. "You know what, Andra? I've always admired your bravery, your strength. You're independent, you fight for what you want, and you do what makes you happy. I wish I had that." I found it hard to believe those words were coming from her.

“Come on, you are the best version of me, Alexa. You are very good at almost everything, and I'm jealous because of that. We may look exactly alike in a physical way, but you know I'm nothing in comparison to you. That may be the reason why Father always favored you—because you are the best, you are the smartest." My voice was laced with bitterness as a familiar ache in my heart struggled to take over.

It's true though. I had always felt that I was the poor imitation or weak version of Alexa so I tried hard to prove myself and make my own identity. It always hurts me when I am being compared with my sister knowing I could never measure up. Although my sister is not aware of my insecurity, I managed to pretend I was okay because I knew jealousy and bitterness would not do me good.

"The truth is, I was a coward. I could never fight for what I truly wanted, especially when it came to Dad's decisions. You know I can't bear to fail our parents' expectations. I just don't have the guts to oppose them, especially Dad. I'm jealous of you because you do what you want and follow what makes you happy, seemingly without a second thought, without any regrets.”

"You are completely wrong if you thought I only did what I wanted, my dear sister. Yes, I follow what makes me happy, but we can't take away the fact that we can't have everything we want in this world. Sometimes, there are prices we have to pay to get what we want. We just have to be wise enough to deal with the consequences and brave enough to stand on the path we choose. I decided to choose that path not only because it would make me happy but also because I'm aware of and ready for the consequences of my decisions." I saw surprise flicker across her face, but I know she chose to remain silent because she knew I was right. Perhaps she was embarrassed by what she thought of me.

"It's like your decision to marry and spend your life with this man. You chose him because you want to grow old together, and because you see a future with him, right? Marriage is a lifetime commitment and devotion—a promise to keep no matter what. I can only hope you made the right decision, and I'll be rooting for your happiness always." I said, my voice was full of sincerity. The one thing I couldn't help but notice was when Alexa's eyes turned sad and elusive, as if she was avoiding meeting my eyes.

"Do I know your husband-to-be?" 

"I don't think you've met him before. But his family is close to ours."

"You must love him so much to marry him and leave Kyle?" I couldn’t help but say what was on my mind.

To my growing concern, Alexa didn't seem to register a word I said. Her eyes were fixed on the window, lost in some distant thought. I knew that withdrawn silence; it always meant something was heavily weighing on her mind. Something was wrong, I could feel it, and I desperately needed to know what it was.

"Hey, Alex! Are you with me?" I reached out, gently touching her arm.

"What did you say?" she asked, blinking as if waking from a dream.

"You seem not yourself. Are you having pre-wedding jitters?"

"Just tired from the wedding preparations," she replied, avoiding my gaze. Another lie, I thought. Alexa was a terrible liar; she couldn't even look me straight in the eyes when she answered. I could see the hesitation, the flicker of guilt behind her eyes, and it only deepened my suspicion that there was more she wasn’t telling me.

"I met Kyle in Paris," I blurted out, needing to break through her facade.

I saw her eyes widen in surprise, and for a fleeting moment, I swear I saw pain and fear flicker across her face. The truth is, I have suspicions in mind based on her actions but I refuse to entertain them just yet. I want to be sure first, to understand what’s really going on beneath that guarded exterior.

"I saw him at a bar a couple of weeks ago. He was a total mess. Would you believe me he even mistook me from you?" I tried to make it sound like a joke, because I wanted to make her feel guilty.

"I hope he didn't do anything stupid." Her voice was sharp and agitated.

"He looked so miserable and devastated because you're getting married," I added, watching her carefully. 

Alexa went completely silent, refusing to even acknowledge my words. That infuriating silence just fueled my suspicion that something was terribly wrong.

"If I knew you were just going to hurt him, I wouldn't have given up so easily. I didn't step aside for you to just throw him away like that." The resentment I'd buried for so long threatened to erupt.

I didn't want to show her the anger, the resentment bubbling inside me, but I couldn't help it. She almost got everything, even Kyle—the one thing I thought I had. How could she just throw away their relationship and marry another man? This was the first time we'd really touched on the past, and I knew I needed this closure, too. I didn't intend to upset my sister on the night before her wedding day, but I needed the truth, even if it meant exposing my own wounds.

"May I know why you broke up?"

"Dad didn't like him. Said a struggling artist couldn't provide for a family."

"Just like that? Because Dad said so?"

“Things between us were complicated, and our differences only grew wider. He became possessive and overprotective, suffocating me with his constant need to control. His jealousy was relentless—every man I met seemed to threaten his fragile ego.

"'Did he have reason to be jealous?'" I asked, the words hanging in the air. 

I knew, even then, that Alexa was always friendly and accommodating to everyone. Kyle wouldn't act like that without a reason. To my surprise, Alexa fell silent again, refusing to answer. That's when a wave of guilt washed over me, and I suddenly realized I was meddling too much. It wasn't my place to judge, not when I hadn't witnessed anything myself. I heaved a long sigh and reached out to hold my sister's hand, seeking forgiveness and understanding.

"I may still harbor some resentment about the past, but I'm genuinely happy you're getting married now. As your sister, I wish you nothing but the best," I said, my voice filled with sincerity. What shocked me was the sudden flash of sadness and pain that crossed Alexa's eyes before she burst into tears and embraced me tightly.

"What's wrong?" I asked, alarmed. Her reaction confirmed my suspicions.

"You still love him," I said, not a question, but a statement that I was now sure of.

"Then why are you marrying another man?" I couldn't help but ask.

"It's a promised wedding, Andra."

"A what?" I shockingly stated not expecting this revelation.

"I'm sorry, Andra... I'm so sorry... Promise me you'll still be my sister, no matter what." She sobbed, pleading.

"What kind of question is that? Of course, I'll always be your sister. What are you apologizing for?" I asked, confused.

"I hope you'll find a way to forgive me soon…" she said while sobbing that made me question my sister's actions.

As if struck by a sudden realization, she frantically wiped away her tears with the back of her palm and ran, leaving me with a growing sense of unease and a thousand unanswered questions.

"Alexa, wait!" I tried to call her out but she didn't listen.

What was she apologizing for? If it was about what happened years ago, I had long forgotten it and moved on. The fact that I came home for her wedding meant I had already forgiven her. But why did I sense something deeper in her apology? I couldn't shake the feeling that Alexa was acting strangely, and it bothered me deeply. Suddenly, I felt a surge of worry, knowing my sister was marrying a man she didn't love. I have to talk to my parents about this, I thought, my mind racing. But what could I possibly do, knowing tomorrow was her wedding day?