CHAPTER 1

I held my empty mug tight until my knuckles began to turn white. Fifteen minutes ago, I had my delicious hot chocolate inside, but I drank it all waiting for my boyfriend to arrive. Just and hour ago he had told me to come meet him in the little café we always came to. It was our favorite place to come together and hang out. It was even the place we had out very first date.

I'll never forget that.

But I was angry at Jeremy though, but of course I still like him. A lot. I don't know what I'd do without him. He's my everything. We've only been dating for a month now and I already know that I can't go through life without him standing beside me.

He's important to me. He always has been. Even when we weren't dating, I still cared for him. I had a crush on him since, like, freshman year? Now I'm a senior and he finally had the courage to ask me out last month.

Maybe I should've asked him out...

It's one of those times when you had a guy friend you always liked but they never thought of you as nothing more than friends until later on. Your just stuck in the friend zone for an eternity. It makes me scream into my pillow every night and curse in my head every morning I see him at school.

"Where the hell is he?" I mumbled to myself, feeling a bit tired and embarrassed. I was sitting here alone, for so long.

I don't know, I just hate sitting alone. It causes people to look at you as that weird-lonely-girl-who-sits-alone-at-cafés.

I looked around the place, looking to see if I can see Jeremy sitting at another booth. Cause maybe he didn't see me waiting for him. He could have been waiting for me all this time, but no. He wasn't in here.

Freaking crap.

I sighed and looked at the clock on the wall. I've been waiting in here for an hour now! What the hell is taking so long?!

I let out a long breath. Should I just leave? Yeah, leave and risk your relationship with the boy you love, Lexi.

Your so stupid.

"Hey." A deep voice said from behind me, making me jump in surprise.

I turn around to see Jeremy standing there, with a guilty expression spread across his face. He sat across from me and sighed softly, looking cute as ever.

His blonde hair lay over his forehead, covering part his green eyes. He's just so adorable. That's one of many reasons why I like him so much.

"Hi." I put a smile on my face, even though I wanted to yell and scream and just yank that precious hair out of his precious head. I just couldn't cause I loved and adored him too much.

"Sorry for being here so late." He apologized.

"Oh, it's fine. I wasn't bored at all." Liar. I was bored as hell . "So, what did you want to talk about?" I smiled and placed a hand on his, that was laying on the table in front of me.

He slowly took my hand off his as a frown formed on his face.

Oh no. Something is wrong. Something is definitely wrong.

"Babe? You okay?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows together.

"Uh, listen, Lexi, I don't know how to say this but-" he sighed loudly and put a hand through his blonde hair. "So I'm just going to spit it out."

"What is it?" I asked, honestly concerned.

"I'm ending everything between us." He said and my breath nearly stopped. I felt like I'm loosing all my oxygen.

I'm going to die.

He could be kidding, right?

But Jeremy never jokes about something like this. He's too serious for his own good.

"W-What?" I asked pathetically as I felt tears forming in the corners of my eyes.

Al-freakin-ready?

"I'm so sorry Lexi, but I can't do this. We were better off as just being friends." He frowned. I felt like my heart had just shattered into pieces and burned into ashes. I can't believe this is happening to me.

It's so unexpected.

It's only been a month dude. I've had a crush on you like my whole life (High schools technically the start of your life) and you break up with me after a month of going out?!

Yelling that in my head only made things worse because I didn't have the courage to actually spit the words out loud.

"What did I do to you? Whatever it is I-" he cut me off before I could finish.

"No Lexi. It's not you. It's not me either. It's us." He said and got up from his seat. "It just isn't working out as well as I thought."

It's us? What the hell ? That's even worse than 'it's not you, it's me' when the guy so means 'it's totally you'. He probably meant it's us not having sex!

"Please don't do this to me. I thought we were perfect. I like you, a lot." By now the tears were sliding down my cheeks slowly. I love you .

Jeremy ignored me and started walking outside the café as my sobs became louder. I can't believe this. I can't believe myself. Crying over a guy like this when there's plenty of them out there. But who cares? Jeremy is the one. Or so I thought. He didn't even explain anything good enough about why he needed to end our relationship, but when I walked out the café, I saw the real reason.

He liked another girl. Another freaking girl.

I was stunned, seeing another girl with beautiful blonde hair, beautiful blue eyes, sitting in his car. Then I recognized her. It was Brooke. A girl from my school. The cheer captain. The most popular girl.

Of course he would pick her over me. What was she compared to me? I was nothing. I was trash laying in the dirt. And he just stepped all over me with his new Barbie.

But what was wrong with who I am? Am I too ugly? Is it because I didn't please him enough? Was I too

natural? Did he want someone more wild like Brooke is?

I ran to my mom's car that I borrowed from her, crying softly. I didn't expect any of this to happen. I feel so broken inside. I needed to get home and cry for over a playlist of Ed Sheeran music, playing in the background.

When I reached home, I ran into my room and locked myself inside. That's when I started to cry hard. I heard my mom call after me, but I ignored her. I didn't mean to be rude and ignore her like that, but I know she just saw my tear stained face and wanted to ask why I was crying. I didn't feel like talking to anyone about it for right now. And I didn't feel like constantly telling her that everything was fine. That's like a girls answer to all her problems.

How are you? Fine. Are you okay? I'm fine. How was school with him today?

Damn it, it was fine ! So fine I wanted to dig knifes into my skin.

I just wanted to be left alone. The only thing that stayed in my mind was Jeremy.

I screamed into my pillow, knowing that no one could hear it besides me.

It was just too upsetting. We only dated for a month. I should have never expected for my life to be perfect. Nobody's life is perfect. There will always be twist and turns and you just have to live with them.

But how can I live without Jeremy? With the jealousy building up inside me, seeing his hands locked in Brooke's?

"I'm so sorry, Lex." Emily said with a sad smile. "But I never liked that Jerk Jeremy guy anyway."

Yeah, that's what she's supposed to say.

But that's why she was one of my best friends. Sisters by soul.

"Thanks Em, but I do." I said. "A lot."

"Well at least your brave enough to come to school after what happened between the two of you."

I told Emily everything that happened. She actually demanded every little tiny detail. So I really didn't have a choice.

I felt like breaking down right now. I just felt like crying and screaming into my pillow again. I couldn't cry at school. It wouldn't be a good thing for everyone to start staring at me like I'm a big baby or something.

Especially Tyler Evans.

Let's just start off by saying that he's the most popular guy in our school. But not because he's nice to people. Cause he's not nice at all- at least not to me. He hated me ever since the sixth grade and I don't even know why. We used to be best friends since we were in second grade.

I was a new student and had no friends. Courtney and Tyler let me in their group. I don't know why he let go of our friendship. We used to do everything together. I even had a crush on him and I completely regret liking him now. I just hate him so much and that crush was just a waste of time.

In sixth grade, he started hating on me for God knows what reason. He's such a jerk, I know. Courtney is still my friend, but not Tyler. That same year, I met Emily. So Courtney, Emily, and I were a group of friends now. But Courtney still hangs out with Tyler of course.

One question always stayed in my head, why did he leave me, but stayed with Courtney? We were all great friends. I couldn't deny that I was completely jealous of her. But not anymore because he makes me sick in the gut.

I was upset at first that we lost our friendship, but then I turned into this girl who despised him. Despised how he treated me. He treated me like trash and once I asked Courtney to get some explanation out of him, she refused. She thinks he'll get mad and for some reason turn on her.

He's just the pain in the ass, to be honest.

He has the looks and he's the star player at our school's soccer team. That's why he's so popular, but that's but stopping me from hating his damn self.

He's just and egotistical selfish jerk head.

Every girl likes Tyler Evans. Every girl except me (no duh). I hate him. Like I really really -you get the point. I don't know how many times I'm going to keep saying that but it's true.