Chapter One

G R A C E 

Returning from college to home, I let the exhaustion welcome my body like a lightening bolt. I couldn’t recall a single day of peace, where I wasn’t welcomed with cursing and beating. My life sucked.

Like the usual, I did the first thing whenever I arrived home: check the time. My eyes drifted to the clock hung in the hallway, and I sighed while thinking about my part time job. As I slowly moved towards the living room, I silently prayed for my parents to be asleep and to my surprise they were.

Both of them were passed out in the living room couch, the smell of alcohol circulating in the air, crunching my stomach in disgust. What’s more? there were empty beer bottles occupying the living room floor. Turning away from the sight, I jogged upstairs to change. While I was changing, my mind kept calculating the total amount of bills I had to pay and all the groceries I had to buy by the end of the day. Tension was on my mind as if it were a propriety in my life, and I was glad that I chose to do my assignments in college. 

One less thing to worry about. I thought. 

I didn’t bother staring at myself in the mirror after I had changed, knowing very well I looked like trash. I mean, what could you possibly expect from a person who studied day and night and worked her ass off? A tired yawn escaped my lips and I started to ogle my bed while dreaming of sleeping on it. Battling against my desires to sleep, I forced my legs to drag me out of this trap. I couldn’t risk losing my job.

But then I remembered I didn’t bandage my bruises. 

“ Just great!” I mumbled under my breath, wanting to end myself and this misery. I retreated towards my bedroom and took off my clothes, throwing them on my bed. Every single movement of my sore muscles made me winced in pain but I held it in and pushed myself to work faster. 

How blind had I been to not have noticed my pain? 

I, then, walked inside the bathroom and grabbed the first aid kit from the cupboard. Lazily throwing it on the countertop, I started to bandage my wounds. While doing so, I thought of the bitter memories, which made my eyes watery and wet. 

Don’t! You’re not that pathetic. I scolded myself. 

I finished bandaging myself and closed the kit, placing it in its place before exiting the bathroom and putting on my clothes again. I grabbed my bag and opened the zip, double checking everything to make sure all my essential stuff was in there. After confirming, I left my bedroom and headed downstairs and soon enough I was out of my house, on the road, making my way towards my workplace. 

People usually say that being a teenager is fun, that we should enjoy this time of life as much as we can. How I wished I could be that average girl with a happy family. 

Life hasn’t been the friendliest to me since the time dad lost his job. For a week, my parents had been eaten by anxiety. Then the following week, they had changed and blamed all of this on me, cursing my birth and presence. Stop wondering how I know all of this when I had just been a kid; alcohol has its victim working in ways one could never imagine when sober minded. They brought out the unwanted shade in them, and those who have seen it knew how it felt to be standing there, helpless to their monstrosity.

Loving them only pained me. The more I tried to stand my ground, the harder they tried to shove me into this pit of cowardice. But I’m not a coward. I’m a child who has traveled hell with bare feet. These violence and abusive behaviour are nothing compared to my strength. What they didn’t realise by trying so hard to break me is that it helped me find my courage. I might be covered in bruises, but you would never see me submitting myself to fear. 

I might be kind when it came to forgiveness, I might be fragile but being fragile didn’t make me weak. It just made me delicate...like a flower. 

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I entered the cafe and greeted my co-workers with a smile. Although pretty busy, they found the time to return it. I went to the back and changed up into my work clothes before moving to the front. 

I saw Sofia, one of the co-workers and my friend, engaged in a conversation with a customer. I took my place besides her and once she was done, I greeted her, 

“ Hey Sofi.”

“ Oh hello Grace, how’s college kiddo?” Did I mention that Sofia and I had five years age gap because of which she would always treat me like a kid? 

“ It’s good.” Lies. 

“ That’s good to hear, here order for table number seven and eight are ready.” She said while handing me two trays, I held one tray in one hand and passed her a smile, 

“ Thanks.” I said and started to work.

Time went by fast, and before I knew it, my shift was over. I left my workplace and headed towards home, feeling like I would collapse anytime soon. 

I was once told by my teachers that everyone has the right to think, to dream and to explore our imaginary worlds to the fullest. We all dream, the only difference was that some dreams came true while others just stayed hanging in the middle. I always dreamt of spending my life in a small house in a friendly neighbourhood with my happy family. 

Something I wasn’t blessed with.

Upon reaching home, the daily yelling and argument of my beloved parents welcomed me. I didn’t bother to go and ask them to stop because I knew, one way or another, I would be the one being blamed for this mess at the end. 

I slowly walked upstairs towards my bedroom, careful of not creating any sounds to avoid unnecessary attention. Locking my bedroom door and sighing in relief, I threw myself on my bed and closed my eyes. 

“I really need an escape.”

All the exhaustion I felt had vanished. I was deprived of having any sleep mainly due to nightmares. Grabbing my pills from my nightstand, I gulped two of them down and fell back in my bed. For an 18 year old, I had a lot of problems in me.

I just wish I would find my happiness soon...

To Be Continued 

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