LOGINLAYLAI set my jaw, looking Josh straight in the face. “Yes,” I say.I expect him to look shocked or awkward; instead, he just shoots back: “What configuration?”“What?”“You want all guys? A guy and a girl?” His eyes bore into mine. “How many partners? Two? Three? Four?”I feel like I’m getting drilled at an interview. “Jesus, does it matter? It’s not like it’s ever going to happen. It’s just a fantasy.”His brow furrows. “Of course it matters,” he insists. “What you want matters. Own it. It’s not embarrassing.”Christ. “Just guys,” I say. “Two or… three, maybe? I think I might struggle with four. I’d probably end up getting tangled in all the limbs.”“You want the guys to get off with each other?” Josh presses, all business.“Or just be focused on you?”“What?”“Just answer the question.”“Dude, this is the funniest shit,” Zack whispers. “You’ve done it now, L. He’s in full saviour mode. He doesn’t have an off-switch.”“Do you want the guys to be together?” Josh repeats impatiently.
JOSHZack whistles, stroking Layla’s arm. “You’re spicy tonight.”She stares at Luke’s closed door, a sad look in her eyes. “Bitchy, you mean.”“He’ll get over it,” I assure her. “You didn’t say anything that isn’t true.”She kicks the leg of the coffee table. “I’m just sick of him treating me like I’m a sixteen-year-old kid he needs to hold at arm’s length. We’re supposed to be friends, and he won’t even talk to me like an equal. He’d probably turn himself in to the police if I tried to hug him.”“Aw.” Zack tugs a strand of her hair. “You wanna hug Luke? Listen, he gets cuddly when he’s drunk, so I can tell you it’s nothing worth getting upset over. Now, where were we?”“You were asking if I read smutty books,” Layla says drily.“Right.” He casts around, picking up a notepad off the coffee table. “Hey, why don’t we make your list together? You clearly need extra help in this area. Tell me your top ten turn-ons, and why you think they’re hot.” He flips to a new page and looks at her e
JOSHLayla is silent for a moment. “Why is there a dick in here?” She asks eventually.I rub my temples. “Sinsters is an adult toy company,” I explain. “And Zack is an idiot.”“No I ain’t!” Zack says enthusiastically. “This shit is important.” He takes the box off her. “I didn’t know what toys you’ve already got, so I figured I should order you the full range. It never hurts to double up. Look.” He starts rummaging around in the box. “You got clamps. Cuffs. A bullet vibe. This one has a little rabbit head, apparently that feels really nice. A blindfold. A plug. Look, ain’t it pretty?” He pulls out a plug with a little jewelled heart on the end.Layla stares at it. “What is it meant to plug into?” She asks, her voice hoarse.Zack looks shocked. “Your butt, honey. Oh my God. You never used one of these before?”“I’ve never used any of this stuff before,” Layla says slowly. Her cheeks are pink. Gingerly, she reaches into the box and pulls out a string of silver metal balls, around the si
LAYLAJosh nods. “He has informed me on multiple occasions that having a son who runs an ‘agony aunt’ column is deeply embarrassing. But I don’t exactly care about his opinion. He’s a terrible person.”Crap. “And your mum?” I follow up, almost scared to ask. Josh doesn’t say anything, spinning his water glass between his fingers. I may be socially stunted, but I know how to take a hint, so I turn to Zack.“What about your parents?”“They don’t mind me doin’ the podcast,” he says happily. “I think they’re still kinda sad I’m not playing rugby, though. It was my dream ever since I was a kid. They were as cut up as me when I injured my knee.”“Did you have to get surgery?”“Oh, aye.” He yanks up the ankle of his dress trousers, showing me the long scar striping down the front of his knee.I trace my finger over the raised skin. “I wish I could’ve seen you play rugby.”“I’m glad you didn’t, love. I was a prick back then.”“You’re a prick now,” I say kindly. “Does it still hurt?”He smiles
JOSHLayla gives him a soft look, tugging on his bun. “I’m enjoying that aspect, too.”I watch them, my lungs aching. She thinks the podcast is all that matters to me, doesn’t she? Everyone does. They think all I care about is engagement and numbers.Of course, I care about the podcast. I created it. I’ve worked for years to make it what it is. I’ll always want more listeners. But if I’m honest, that’s not why I suggested the segment.What matters to me is helping her. The image of her, teary-eyed and red-faced in our lounge, flashes into my head again. It makes my chest hurt.“Why don’t you want to be seen with us both in public?” I blurt out.She looks taken aback. “What?”Zack frowns. “Leave her alone, man. If she doesn’t want to, she doesn’t want to.”I close my eyes. I’ve been told a lot that when I get too intense, I come across as harsh. I never mean to.“Of course,” I say, softening my voice. “And we’d never make you. I just want to know why. You were fine with us both taking
JOSH“I know,” Zack says, as Layla steps inside the flat, wide-eyed. “He went overboard. I tried to tell him, but he wouldn’t listen.”I roll my eyes, lighting the last candle on the table and setting the matchbox down. My hands are sweating with nerves, and I slip them into my trouser pockets.Tonight, it’s my turn to pick a date. I figured, since we’ve already done a bar, a dinner date would be the next best thing. Ideally, I would’ve taken Layla to an actual restaurant, but when I asked her, she said she didn’t want to go out. So I did my best to set up a dinner date at our flat. The dining room table we never use has been covered with a white cloth. I’ve lit tapered candles and put some classical music on the record player. There’s salad in the fridge and a dish of homemade lasagne in the oven. The bouquet of roses I picked out this morning is sitting on the breakfast bar.I thought I was fully prepared, but now that Layla is standing in front of us, I’m ridiculously nervous. S







