4. He has moved on

ROSE

Two weeks later…

Something was wrong with me. One moment I was happy and in the next I was sad, bawling my eyes out like a crazy mad woman. It happened five times in the last three weeks.

First was when I was with Michael and he had taken me to a non-date date (yeah, he knew I wasn’t ready and I knew he wanted to take me on a date, so we settled on a non-date date).

When we had finished our dinner, Michael had surprised me with the best chocolate cake I had ever have the fortune to eat. It was the first sign for me that I was slowly going crazy. The moment our waiter had placed the cake in front of me, I was smiling like I had never in my entire life eaten a cake and then after just two bites I was crying.

_

“Are you okay, Rose? What happened? Is something wrong with the cake?” Michael’s happy face was suddenly turned into a concerned one, and he had fired his questions one after the other in rapid succession.

“It’s so yummy.” I had replied, tears still trailing down my cheeks.

For a whole minute Michael had just sat there and stared at me. And, then he had asked, “It’s yummy… that’s why you are crying?”

“No?” I wasn’t sure myself that why was I crying. “I don’t know.”

Thankfully, that time, Michael had just given me a soft smile and that was that.

_

The second thing that told me I was going all bonkers was the fact that in the last few days my appetite had increased so much that I was sure it was equal to what I would consider the appetite of a bear, a very big one. Just yesterday, I was eating like I hadn’t eaten in weeks and then unfortunately I had opened the drawer under the sink in which Monica’s stash of alcohol was. Just looking at those bottles had reminded me the taste and smell of the alcohol I had consumed, making my stomach roil in disgust.

After that, I didn’t eat much, because I was hanging over the toilet bowl.

Now, I was just sitting on the couch and flipping through the channels as I waited for Michael or Monica, as I didn’t know who was coming to take me to the appointment with the doctor. At first, I wasn’t going to go but then these crazy things happening to me made me rethink my decision.

I picked up my phone with an intent to call any one of my friends but paused as the notification from YouTube showed on the screen. It was the notification from my favourite youtuber, so I just clicked on to watch the video. Ten minutes later I was scrawling through the different videos when I came across the video of that skimpy little birthday girl and him.

I didn’t know what came over me as I hit play on the video. Of course, I had already watched this on the news when he and I had a fight. But, this time I wasn’t shocked like the other time. Once the video was finished, I didn’t go crazy and I didn’t cry.

Then, something else caught my eyes.

A video with the title- “FLAVOR OF THE MONTH OR WIFE OF THE BILLIONAIRE, RYAN JOHNSON.”

My mind told me to just scroll, or to just put my phone down. But I watched as my finger lifted and tapped on the video on its own accord, and it started to play.

“Mr. Ryan, is it true that you are dating Alison Courtney?” A reported asked as the camera was focused on his face. “When the rumor is that you’re already married?”

Then my breath caught as the camera flashed on him. Fuck. I didn't want to see his face. But, I couldn’t make myself to look away or to close the damn phone.

My eyes remained glued on the screen where he stood with his arm around the woman as tall as him and as beautiful as any other super model or actress. He was wearing his usual three piece suit but only on closer inspection it wasn’t as fitted to his body as it was before. His grey eyes were hidden behind the pair of Ray-Ban. I could see that it was the night event, but I didn’t see the reason for the glasses as he had never wore them before like this.

“This is the first time you had made a public appearance after your visit to India. Did you really went there to get away from your wife?”

“Are you really married?”

“Are you cheating on your wife?”

“Can you confirm your marital status or are you planning to get married anytime soon?”

The camera flashed to the woman plastered to his side, her hand going around his waist as they descended the stairs. The reporter came back again, asking the same question and this time Ryan replied.

“No, I don’t plan to marry. Everyone knows that I’m married. How many times you guys want me to get married. I already have a wife.” Ryan said into the mike that was thrust in his face.

The camera cut to the reporter as he spoke next, “So it’s true… Ryan Johnson, the most popular and handsome billionaire was already married all these years. And, probably the report of his engagement with the Jyoglina Georgette was true and she is the woman who had captured most wanted bachelor in NY.”

The screen cut to the various pictures of him with that actress. The same actress that I had seen on the day when I had googled him. He had said it was all fake, but now he just confirmed the news.

My face scrunched up and my eyes started to glaze over with the tears. A sob caught in my throat as I threw the phone across the room.

I loved him. I needed him. I wanted him. Near me. To hold me. To kiss me. But he wasn’t here. He was all the way back to New York, where he was holding another beautiful woman who wasn’t me. All this time he had lied to me. He was already married. The news of his engagement that I’d read all those weeks ago was true. He fucking cheated on his wife with me and was now back there to be with his wife.

I was feeling empty. Lonely. All of a sudden it felt like there was nothing holding me to the present or even in this world. I was all alone.

All the things that Monica, Michael and Natasha had done for me in the last few weeks to cheer me up seemed insignificant at that moment. The place where my heart should be was hollow, there was nothing there, all I could feel was a dull throb of pain as I sobbed.

My eyes burned with the tears, I felt my soul crushing, but my mind and body gave up on me in that moment. It decided for me to do for what I got up from the couch and started toward my bedroom. As I walked into the room, all I could think was that it wasn’t supposed to happen to me. I wasn’t supposed to love him like that. I wasn’t to fall for my tormentor. I had thought that I was strong but I wasn’t.

He had proved me wrong. He had left me broken and weak. And, from what I saw I didn't think he even thought about me now. He has moved on.

I sucked in a breath and stiffened as I watched the red liquid gushing out of my split wrist. It wasn’t until I couldn’t even hold my hand up any longer and it fell limp by my side that I realised how many cuts I had made on my once smooth white skin. That what I had actually done.

Now, my wrist looked messed up with the criss-cross cuts marking my skin and I watched fascinated as blood oozed out of the cuts and dripped down on the bathroom floor, staining the tiles.

I stumbled down on the floor as my eyes rolled back in my head, thinking that Monica wouldn’t like to find these red stains in her bathroom.

And that's how I ended up in the hospital for the second time.

____

A. Gupta

Check out my other completed books, CAGED-A DARK BILLIONAIRE CAPTÎVE ROMANCE. BRIDE TO BE. HIS BROKEN PRINCESS.