第6章

Elena's POV

I looked at her.

Sophia's face was soft with a gentle smile.

"I've been trying to find you.

"So many people are here tonight. I was worried you wouldn't want to come."

"Of course I came."

I said.

"Congratulations, both of you."

Sophia's eyes curved.

"Thank you, Elena."

She glanced at Cassian, then back at me.

"I've actually been wanting to thank you in person.

"If you hadn't been willing to end the engagement, Cassian and I couldn't have gotten engaged this quickly."

I didn't reply.

She reached over and gently took my hand.

"Elena, I know you used to like Cassian very much.

"So these past few days, I've been feeling so uneasy.

"I never wanted to take anything from you.

"When I saved him that night, I just couldn't bear to see him get hurt.

"I never expected us to fall for each other afterward."

People nearby were already glancing in our direction.

Sophia kept her voice soft.

Just loud enough for those around us to hear.

I looked at her.

In my previous life, she had always been like this.

Every word was gentle.

Every expression looked wounded.

The moment I spoke even a little sharply, her eyes would redden.

And so, even though I was the one who had given her a home, I was the one left looking shameful.

I pulled my hand free from hers.

"You don't need to thank me."

Sophia's smile stiffened for a moment.

I continued.

"Ending the engagement was Cassian's idea.

"I simply agreed.

"You saved his life, and he wants to marry you. That's perfectly reasonable."

The expression on Sophia's face froze for an instant.

Then she recovered.

"Elena, you're really not angry with me?"

"Why would I be angry?"

She was caught off guard and stood there awkwardly, unable to answer.

Cassian glanced at me.

"Sophia is just worried about you."

"I know."

I nodded.

"That's why I'm telling her she doesn't need to worry."

The conversation had run its course. There was nothing left to say.

Sophia knew perfectly well why I didn't want to talk to her.

Sophia and I both knew what had really happened that night. We both knew who had saved Cassian, and who had stolen the credit.

I nodded to them.

"Today is your engagement banquet. I won't keep you."

With that, I turned and left.

As I walked away, I could still feel Cassian's eyes on my back.

Before the engagement, Cassian had rarely paid much attention to Sophia.

She would occasionally appear at banquets alongside me, and he had barely exchanged more than a few words with her.

Everything changed after the hunter attack.

He became convinced Sophia had risked her life to save him, and from then on, he was careful and attentive with her.

Now that I had stepped aside willingly, giving them exactly what they wanted, he seemed almost unsettled by it.

By all accounts, this should have been exactly what he hoped for.

But the look in his eyes as I walked away was something I couldn't quite read.

Halfway through the banquet, the hall grew stuffy, and I went out to the terrace alone.

I leaned against the railing for a while.

Footsteps came from behind me.

I turned around.

Cassian, again.

"Why are you out here?"

He asked.

"It was a bit stifling inside."

"Is your shoulder hurting again?"

"It's fine."

He stepped closer.

"I'll have someone take you home."

"That's not necessary."

Cassian looked at me.

"When you weren't feeling well before, you never used to be this formal with me."

I let out a soft sigh.

"Cassian."

"Hm?"

"You are Sophia's fiancé now."

He fell silent.

"You don't need to worry about me anymore."

Perhaps it was the coldness in my voice, or perhaps the change in me had simply been too sudden.

In this life, Cassian was showing me far more concern than he ever had before.

Even though we had already ended our engagement.

Yet the more he did this, the heavier my chest felt, until I could barely breathe.

In my previous life, I had lost our child trying to save him, and in the end, I died in a hospital bed. He had never once believed me.

Now, when I wanted nothing more to do with him, he decided to be kind.

Then what had all my suffering been for?

Just then, Sophia's voice drifted from inside the hall.

"Cassian?"

I glanced toward the sound.

"She's looking for you."

Cassian didn't turn around.

His gaze was still on me.

After a moment, he suddenly asked,

"The Blackthorne match. Are you really going through with it?"

"Yes."

"You and I have ended the engagement."

He said.

"I know you're upset, but there's no reason to do something rash.

"Why insist on the North?"

I gave a cold laugh before I could stop myself. "What makes you think my going north has anything to do with you?"

The concern on Cassian's face froze.

In truth, I had asked myself the same question.

If I chose to stay, I could marry another vampire noble and still cleanly sever things with Cassian.

The North was cold.

I didn't enjoy long carriage journeys either.

I had only read a few pages about the Blackthorne family.

In my previous life, Sophia had even died there from illness.

I didn't know what would happen to me once I went.

But my life had been stuck in the same place for too long.

If I stayed, surrounded by familiar faces and the petty venom of the nobles of the Central Territories, I would only sink deeper.

In my previous life, the first thing I thought of every morning was how to make Cassian believe me today.

The last thing I thought of before bed was what new evidence I could find about Sophia.

After the wedding, I spent every day tiptoeing around him, trying to please.

When Sophia died, I started trying to prove I hadn't harmed her.

Then the baby came, and I pinned all my hopes on the child.

The baby was gone.

And lying in bed, the last thing on my mind was still why Cassian wouldn't come to see me.

I had spent a lifetime chasing a man who would never look back.

By the end, I had nearly forgotten who I was.

Cassian was still waiting for my answer.

I said softly,

"I don't know if the North is right for me."

He frowned.

"Then why go?"

"I want to see for myself."

"That's it?"

"Yes."

I looked at him.

"I want to know what kind of life I'll have after I leave here."

Cassian said nothing.

Sophia called for him again from inside.

This time, her voice was much closer.

I took a step back.

"Go back inside.

"It's your engagement banquet. The host shouldn't be absent."

Cassian stood where he was.

I turned and walked down from the terrace.

No footsteps followed behind me.

As the carriage pulled away from the estate, I leaned against the window and watched the lights grow smaller in the distance.

Cassian had just asked me whether the North was really where I wanted to go.

I still didn't know the answer.

But I just needed to go somewhere no one knew me and start over.

I wanted to know what I would think about when I woke each morning if there were no Cassian, no Sophia, and no endless need to prove myself.