Chapter 2

I looked over the earlier boxes in my notebook. Every entry felt like another knife wound.

In box ninety-six, I'd written: [She threw away my SAT prep materials.]

Just reading those words brought back the cold, driving rain that night.

Three months before the SAT, I'd packed an entire year's worth of study guides, notes on every question I'd gotten wrong, and practice tests from top tutors into a canvas backpack. I went through them whenever I had a spare moment.

Then, while I was in the shower, Gemma threw everything away.

By the time I realized my books were missing, it was already dark outside.

Panicked, I grabbed Gemma and demanded to know where she'd put them. She didn't look remotely guilty. Instead, she smiled, pulled favor coupon number ninety-six from her pocket, and handed it to Mom, who'd come running at the commotion.

"Mom, I'm using a favor coupon. I'm just sick of Livia doing nothing but studying all day. I threw those books away, so what? Tell her to stop yelling at me."

Mom clutched the coupon and immediately stepped between us. "They're just a few books! Print them out again and rewrite your notes. Why are you scaring Gemma over something like this? Her hearing is already fragile. If you make her right ear ring or give her a headache from all that yelling, are you going to take responsibility?"

My eyes burned with panic, and even my voice was shaking. "Those notes have every question I've gotten wrong for the past year, and some of those practice tests aren't available anymore. The SAT is only three months away. How am I supposed to recreate all of that?"

My father, Fred Colton, sat on the couch scrolling through his phone. "You're smart. Losing a few study materials won't affect your score. Gemma was just messing around. Stop making such a big deal out of it."

He barely even looked up. "She used a favor coupon. That settles it. I don't want to hear another word about this."

I ran downstairs and searched through the bushes.

It was pitch-black, and rain was pouring down. Branches scratched my legs until they bled, but I refused to stop looking.

It was after midnight when I finally found my study materials. The rain had reduced them to a soggy, pulpy mess. They were completely unusable.

I crouched among the thorny bushes, picking up the ruined pages one by one. Cold wind cut across my face as tears mixed with the rain.

But none of it felt as cold as the emptiness inside me.

A neighbor passing by saw the state I was in and came over to help.

Mom and Dad stood in the doorway of our building, comforting Gemma because she was upset. Neither of them even bothered to come downstairs and check on me.

When I finally got home, I was clutching my soaked, ruined books. I was feverish and covered in scratches, but I still went to my parents and asked if they could give me some money to replace the materials.

Mom waved me away impatiently. "The money we have is for Gemma's education. Figure this out yourself. You're the one who insisted on making a big deal out of what she did."

In the end, I rebuilt everything myself, staying up until three every morning to recreate an entire year's worth of notes and study materials.

My thoughts returned to the present.

I ran my fingers over the words in box ninety-six and almost laughed.

Back then, I'd worked myself to the bone because I wanted to become a doctor. I'd thought that one day, I could fix Gemma's hearing and finally repay everything I supposedly owed her.

But I'd never owed her anything in the first place.

Suddenly, my phone rang.

It was my homeroom teacher, Naomi Pierce.

"Livia, the school gives a grant to outstanding graduating seniors every year. If you need the money, come by tomorrow and fill out the application."

"Okay. Thank you. I'll be there." I knew I'd need every dollar I could get if I wanted to leave my family and go to college on my own.

But the moment I hung up and opened my bedroom door, I found Gemma standing outside. She'd been listening.

She didn't even have the decency to look embarrassed about being caught. Instead, she ordered, "Livia, give me that grant."