"Are you being serious right now?" I snapped at Zale, recoiling in disgust as I held up the contract, "is this what you think of me? Is this really what you fucking think of me? That you flash a couple of bucks, cars and houses and I'll rush to open my legs for you?" I got even angrier as I heard the words coming out of my mouth and threw the paper at him, disgusted with him and also hurt.
"I thought you were fucking different," I paused, gauging his reaction, "I confided in you, dammit, and this is what you do to me? All you men are the same, you're all fucking pigs!"
I was even more upset with myself because I actually thought that he cared, I actually thought that he wanted to help me and didn’t want to use me like every other man that has come into my life but now I’m convinced that I must be cursed.
"I understand that you may be a little upset, Bea-"
"A little ups
"What did they say?" Zale asked me as I entered the Bentley and I sighed."They said they'll let me know," I groaned, "but I know I didn't get it. I was stuttering so much and I didn't know what to say after certain questions," I felt exhausted and deflated because this was harder than I thought it would. I've attended over three different interviews for any kind of position I thought I was fitting for and each one was exactly the same.It was either hearing a "no" straight to my face or getting the "we'll be in touch" as they looked at me with bored faces."Here, I bought you a pizza," Zale said to me as I looked at the box of pizza in between us and I smiled gratefully at him, "I know you're probably hungry after such a long day," he continued and I nodded.I can't believe I'm here eating something so greasy inside a Bentley that looked brand new like he'd just purchased it this morni
I know I shouldn't. I know I shouldn't have signed the contract but all my life I've lived a sad life. I've lived on the brink of poverty and was always dependent on some man to come along and save me and that never happened. This here, it wasn't like that. I wasn't dating him and I wasn't having sex with him. Granted, he could be taking me for a fool like the other men have and I don't want to get my heart hurt again but is it too much to ask to have a job with such a great salary?I never thought I'd ever be able to earn so much.I had a plan with that salary of $50,000 I'd be able to leave that job as soon as possible. I'll save up for a new life in Canada or Cuba, or some other place like Hawaii and do something there. Become a teacher or whatever the hell I could because I'll have the money to buy a house there, have some savings and use it sparingly.I'm
"Good morning, angel," Zale greeted me as I walked lazily to his car, my shoes still not on and still very much half asleep as I slid into the luxury limousine, "rise and shine.""It's only 3 AM," I notified him as I took the coffee he was holding out to me."The business world never sleeps," he chuckled as he looked at me put on my shoes and look at my reflection in the mirror, glad that I had enough time to shower and get dressed into a decent outfit, "only fools sleep eight hours a night," he said and I thought over his words, nodding in agreement."We wake up before everyone else. I had mercy on you because it's your first day but from tomorrow onwards, we get home at midnight and at two AM we get to work.""There's no way you sleep for two hours," I gasped as I looked at Zale, but he just shrugged as he popped a pill into his mouth and gulped it down with some water.&
I wanted to prove myself to Zale. I know he didn't really think I could do this job, and he probably gave this to me to keep me busy while he goes on to do more important things and I guess that's alright. It's not the first time a man has thought of me as incapable of doing certain tasks. So I always made it a point to prove to them and to myself that I could do anything that I set my mind to.The first step to having a successful and beneficial workplace: get familiar with the employees. It’s what I always did because having a good relationship with the employees creates a stable work environment and everyone is more open and free. So I got to know the exotic dancers a bit better, found out their names and their stories about where they came from or basically whatever they were more than willing to tell me.They were really beautiful and sexy women who loved what they did for a living and view
I'd like us to establish one thing and one thing only, I'm fucking damaged. Always have been and probably always will be. I tried to change but we all know that change can't happen overnight especially for a fucked up girl like myself. I've been through all kinds of shit, all kinds of shit with all kinds of men.I've been in prostitution ever since I was only sixteen years old. So when I say I'm fucking damaged, that should already let you in on some of the fucked up shit I've done. I'm talking about sleeping with men triple my age.I've tried to deal with my issues but every person I've ever been with has never allowed me to deal with it. They all just tell me to hush and that everything will be ok.I'll let you in on a little secret about men, they love damaged women. Not because they can fix us, but because we end up depending on them and making them our heroes and men love that.I'm
It was Saturday night and as promised, Zale had returned from whatever his business was. We didn't talk much, he just told me that he and I were going to have dinner together and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't relieved. I guess I just wanted to break away from the routine my life had become this week.I’m not complaining but it’s been a big change of scenery and running a club wasn’t easy. It was so much simpler running the “red boot guards” as Zale had come to call them. They were only a handful of men and they stuck to my side every hour of the day. Whereas running the club was taking care of all of the many employees which were north of 20 and trying to control the drunk men and women who stumbled around. I was doing my absolute best and I very quickly figured out how to do my job because I wanted to impress Zale and show him that I was capable of doing this.He told me the driver would drop
Everything about my day had been perfect. I'd gone shopping until my feet hurt and I bought the most beautiful of silk dresses and the sexiest of underwear. I didn’t rob myself of the luxury of designer bags and shoes and as I had promised Zale, I went for a massage. I did my hair and nails and I was feeling refreshed and the best I've felt in a while.But I needed some relief and now that Zale was home, I knew that some way, somehow he'd catch me in my bathroom. I don't know how but I just know that he will and honestly, I don't think I'm ready for him to see me like that. I just got this job and I can't lose it, and this might be what will make him snap and push him over the edge. Strangely, I don’t want to upset him because he was trying so hard to bring light into my world but he had no idea that I was more damaged than I let on.So I stood outside the door of Hadassah's apartment, waiting for her to
It was hours after, when I finally returned home. Home?The word registered in my head after I had said to myself and it almost made me freeze up in surprise because I’ve never had a place to call home. The words had just come into my mind and the thoughts were like words that echoed from my heart and it was strange to believe that I had only been here a little over a week and I was now calling it home.Before I left Hadassah's place, I made sure I had cleaned up and there would be no trace of anything on my face and anywhere else.I pushed the door of my bedroom open and when I did I found Zale sitting on my bed, with his head in his hands, "Zale..." I called out softly wondering if he was ok.He looked up at me but didn't say a word, he just looked at me, "where have you been?" he