1

Lily

EVERYTHING IS GOING to be fine.

I chanted the words like a prayer in my head as I stared at myself in the mirror.

It was the first day of senior year. A day for feeling excited and eager and cautiously optimistic. A day to make bucket lists and plans for the future.

A day to smile.

But my smile was fake, and my bucket list contained only one item: survive.

“Let’s go, Lilster.” My sister Poppy poked her head around the door, smiling. “Ooh, cute outfit.” She gave me the once over.

Anyone would think it was her first day of senior year, but no, my sister was a junior. A confident, bubbly, popular junior.

And I was… a wallflower.

Shy, meek, Lily Ford.

“I’m coming,” I said, checking my reflection for the last time.

You’ve got this.

With a weak smile, I grabbed my backpack and followed Poppy downstairs.

“Good morning, my two favorite girls.”

“Morning, Mom. Something smells good.”

“I made blueberry pancakes.”

“Hmm, my favorite,” Poppy said. “Where’s Peyton?” she asked, but seconds later, my best friend burst through the kitchen door.

“Good morning,” she sang.

“Good morning, Peyton. You’re looking very…” Mom’s brows furrowed as she sipped her coffee. “Is that school appropriate?”

“No. No it isn’t.” Dad waltzed into the room and gave Peyton a disapproving glance. “I know it’s senior year, but that,” he wagged a finger at her outfit, “is not happening on my watch.”

“Mr. Ford,” she said, around a puppy-dog pout, “it’s my lucky blouse.” “Lucky blouse or unlucky blouse, go change.”

“Ugh, fine.” She stomped off out of the kitchen.

“Do you think we’re being too hard on her?” Mom asked no one in particular.

“She needs boundaries, Fee. And while she’s staying under our roof…” He trailed off, running a hand over his jaw.

“You’re right. I thought we had our hands full with these two, but add Peyton into the mix and whew, I’m not sure I’m cut out for three teenage girls.” “Try being the only male in a house full of estrogen.” “Dad!” Poppy cringed.

“What?” He shrugged. “It’s true.” His eyes flicked to mine, a hundred questions glittering there. I gave him a small smile and nodded.

I was fine.

Everything was going to be fine.

“Okay, better?” Peyton appeared in the doorway. She’d slipped a black tank on under her blouse, so half her midriff was no longer showing, but I had no doubt she’d take it off the second we left the house.

“Much,” Dad grunted. “Now get in here and eat something.”

“So what do you think they’ll be like?” Poppy said the moment she sat down.

“They’re just kids, Pops, not some alien life form from another planet.”

“Yeah, but Rixon East hates us.”

“Well, we’re going to all need to put that aside and welcome them into school with a friendly smile.” Mom wasn’t looking at us, she was staring at Dad who looked murderous. “Jason,” she added.

“Yeah, I know. I just… fuck, did it have to be him?” “Jase!” She scolded, flicking her eyes to us.

“What exactly happened with you and Mr. Thatcher anyway?” Peyton asked.

“It’s ancient history,” Mom replied. “And we can’t judge a young man’s worth by the sins of his father.” She gave Dad another hard look.

“I heard Kaiden Thatcher is one of the best quarterbacks in state.” Peyton had that look in her eyes, the same look she got whenever a cute guy was around.

“I already have a quarterback, that’s the problem.” Dad drained his coffee. “I don’t know how the school board expects me to assimilate two teams into one roster. It’s an impossible task. Not to mention, the rumors that he’s a bit of a loose cannon like his father.”

Mom went over to him and squeezed his shoulders. “You’ll figure it out. You’re Jason freaking Ford.” She leaned down and kissed his cheek.

Dad was stressed. Had been ever since we found out that Rixon East, the school across the river, had almost burned down over the summer. Almost a third of its kids were transferring to Rixon High this year. Including the majority of its senior football players. Which would have been fine, if it wasn’t for the huge rivalry between their school and ours.

It was a whole thing.

As coach for the Rixon Raiders, my dad had his hands full this semester, trying to deal with the assimilation.

“Girls, do you want a ride to school?”

“Actually, Mr. Ford, Ashleigh is giving us a ride,” Peyton rushed out a little too hastily.

“She is?”

“Yeah, Dad, she wants to show off her new shiny Mazda.” It was an early birthday present from her parents.

“Well, you girls drive safe.” He tipped his face up to Mom. “Maybe I should call Cam.”

“You don’t need to call Cam. Ashleigh is a sensible driver.”

“Seriously, Dad. Lilster is a senior now. If she had her own car then—”

“Poppy.” I kicked her under the table. We’d discussed this. I didn’t want a car, not yet. Poppy and Peyton would only want me to chauffeur them around and Rixon was small enough to navigate on foot or by bus.

Besides, I wasn’t ready.

“You feeling okay, Lil?” Peyton asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You haven’t eaten much.” Mom frowned at my plate of barely touched pancakes. “I’m not hungry.”

“Lily, you have to—”

“Fee.” Dad shook his head. “It’s senior year jitters, that’s all. Happens to the best of us.” He winked at me and some of the tension inside me ebbed away.

“You have nothing to worry about.” Peyton smirked. “Senior year is going to be epic.” “Yeah.” I managed a weak smile.

Epic.

I wanted to share her enthusiasm. I wanted to be excited about what the year would bring. But the truth was, the only thing I wanted was to get through each day.