Chapter Three

River's POV

Silence is filling the room with awkwardness as I arrange my things for classes tomorrow. Yes, I'm  attending school from tomorrow and right now I'm feeling a mixture of feelings. I'm both scared and excited for tomorrow and both of these emotions are making me overwhelmed which will keep me up the whole night for sure. 

I didn't have a good experience in my last high school. I was severely bullied because I was an orphan, an easy target for a bully. At first, the bullying wasn't that severe but I called destruction upon myself by speaking up and standing up for myself. There I learnt that if you belong to the lowest part of the food chain, you should always keep your mouth shut. But I'm not sure if I've taken any lesson from it because I will probably fight back even if I know I will lose at the end.

Henna knows about my high school experience just like the whole orphanage. My face was almost deformed when a group of jerks attacked me for not following their order so it was almost inevitable to not know that someone beat the shit out me. Maybe this incident triggered Henna to have me under her wings, her protection and I'm glad for it. This incident is half a year old but it's still dreadful for me to recall it.

The orphanage never cared though. I reported to them several times of me being bullied but no one took any action, they just told me to stay out of trouble as if it were my fault. Orphanage is a terrible place for a child to grow up in. But again, it's a far better place than the place where I came from before being put in the system.

 

However, Henna promised me that I won't face such things in this school but I'm not so sure. She assured me that Milestone High doesn't tolerate any bullying, so did my old but. She also didn't forget to add that my big brother who is barely a year older than me, will take care of me. If she knew about his hatred towards me, she wouldn't be talking that way. I'm afraid that he is the one who will probably bully me. 

I didn't let Henna feel that I was anxious enough to pass out when she got me admitted to the school a few days ago. I didn't want to disappoint her. She was the first person who wanted to adopt me to actually take care of me and not for money. Henna runs a charity and in that regard she used to visit my old orphanage from time to time, spending time with the orphan children. I didn't know how or why but she always put me first in everything. Maybe she could read my pathetic thoughts. Maybe she knew I needed saving because I was falling. 

There is always a constant feeling of emptiness, there is always the feeling of being unwanted, unloved, uncared for when you are brought up in an orphanage. It's tough to grow up without a home, without the feeling of security and with the feeling of being unwanted in every way possible. 

This feeling haunts you more knowing your parents are happy somewhere after throwing you away like dirt, this feeling of belonging nowhere takes away the will to live but I'm trying my hardest to fit in. Survival of the fittest. I will wait till the last push and I'm glad that push hasn't arrived yet. 

"Umm..Gabriel?" I call him to get his attention. If I have to live here, I need to get along with him.

We haven't talked since his outburst which was yesterday. He avoided me as much as he could but I can't avoid him forever. I need to clear the air with him before he starts to hate me even more.

"What?" He spats in his usual irritated voice that he uses on me, without looking at me as he is also arranging his stuff.

"I-I didn't mean to overhear your conversation. I didn't know you would be there." I know I sound desperate because I'm. There are already a lot of factors for him to hate on me, I don't need unnecessary ones. 

"Whatever." He replies, again without sparing me a glance. I nod my head in acknowledgement knowing that he won't see me nodding my head, knowing that he doesn't believe me.

"I…I" 

"I what? Cat got your tongue or something?" He looks at me finally but I wish he hadn't because I'm still not used to seeing the raw hatred that he holds for me, it's pathetic how much it affects me. I wish he could see how much it hurts me, I wish he cared. 

"I'm sorry…. I wouldn't tell anyone about anything, I promise." I say, breaking eye contact with him, my voice is so low that I fear he hasn't heard me. 

"Damn right you won't. We will have a big problem if you even think about it." 

Now, he is threatening me. I don't doubt him though, he can hurt me and he knows it but I'm not really sure if he actually would. I gulp down the fear and nod my head at him, not knowing how to reply to a threat. 

"Turn off the lights when you are done. I need to grab some sleep." Gabriel lays on his bed after letting me know. I nod my head once again. 

I watch him bringing his blanket over his head,completely covering himself with the white material. 

I keep watching him and thinking about the situation that I'm in. I mean, this guy now has to share his room with me, with a stranger. It must be hard to give up his privacy and share it with me, specially when he seems to hate me so much. I don't know if I will be mad at that as I never had any sense of privacy. I had to share one room with 5 other kids so it didn't bother me. We have 2 single beds in the room so I guess  It's better that he doesn't need to share the same bed with me. 

This house has 3 bedrooms. One belongs to Henna and Anthony and the other belongs to Scarlet. As I'm also male, Henna told me I could share a room with her son. From the frown on Gabriel's face I knew he wasn't happy about it so I tried to convince Henna that I would be just fine in the living room with a blanket and a pillow, I mean I never had a bed of my own, never had a room for myself so I would be more than comfortable but she didn't listen to me and now we are here. 

A soft knock on the door pulls me out of my thoughts. 

"Come in." I say in a small voice, trying not to wake Gabriel up. He seems tired enough. 

"Excited for tomorrow?" Henna asks as soon as she steps inside the room. Her gloomy face is long gone, I wasn't expecting that. She was so sad this whole day but I'm not complaining. I'm happy to see her regular cheerful face though it seems a bit forced. 

I nod my head and send a small smile towards her. She puts her soft hands on my cheeks and places a kiss on my forehead, catching me off guard. Since the past month she showed signs of affection more than once but still I'm not used to it. It feels weird yet warm. It feels like I've always been longing for this kind of warm treatment but it feels so weird because my mind doesn't think I'm living in reality. It still feels surreal to me. 

"Here, take it." She hands me a small white shopping bag which I hadn't noticed before. 

"What's this?" I question before taking the bag in my hand from her hold. She smiles at me warmly and tells me to check it out myself. 

It's a phone, a smartphone like Gabriel's. 

"I-I-" 

"Yes,yes you need it. I'm not getting rejected here, River." She informs in a stern voice which still sounds soft and affectionate. 

"I don't think so. I mean what will I do with it? I have my own phone." I say with a pout. I really don't want them to waste their money on me, it would make me feel more of a burden. Also, I already have a phone, just not a smartphone. By the look, I can tell that It's a very expensive phone. 

"You will figure out something. Kids have so many things to do with phones these days, I know You will get the hang of it in a few days too." Henna says before darting her eyes on my backpack, seeing it herself if I got everything correctly, giving me no chance to refuse her. 

 I don't think it 's any of my use. I don't have friends to call or anything. I don't have social media accounts nor do I like watching videos. I like to spend time with myself, drowning myself in my depressing and disturbing thoughts. 

"Alright, it looks like everything is fine." She claps her hand together and looks at me once again. 

"Don't worry, love. Tomorrow will be a new and awesome start for you." She assures me while caressing my cheek in an affectionate manner. My heart feels warm when she uses those loveable terms to call me, it also hurts knowing before her I didn't have my own mother to call me sweet names. 

"And I know your big brother Gabriel will help you around the school." Henna smirks, looking down at Gabriel's sleepy form who groans in his sleep, letting us know that he is awake and he is listening. 

"Alright boys, have some good sleep before you get busy with the school work for the rest of the year." With that she takes her leave, closing the door behind her. 

Gabriel puts his cover off of him as soon as she leaves the room and looks at me with his hardening gaze. 

"In school you don't know me and I don't know you, got it?" I swallow a lump inside my throat and nod my head at him.

Great! I can't wait for tomorrow. Note the sarcasm please.