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Our Secret Baby 35
A shiver ran down my spine, as if he’d complimented me on something much more exciting than my name.My senses were having a field day between Deacon’s amazing scent and the delicious aroma of the espresso—two of my favorite smells blended together. But mostly my body was hyperaware of the gorgeous creature standing in front of me—one who’d made a woman scream in pleasure just last night.Deacon walked over to the corner of the room. I admired him as he examined the photos displayed on my shelves. Most of them were of Sunny, but he lifted one of me. I braced myself as he looked back and forth from the photo to where I was standing.“You were a ballet dancer?”I nodded. “Yeah. I was…for several years. Not anymore, obviously.” “Professionally?”“Yes. I performed for The Manhattan Ballet as a principal dancer.”If I’d thought his stare was penetrating before, that was nothing compared to the way he looked at me now.“Wow.” He glanced back down at the photo. It showed me in an arabesque.
Our Secret Baby 36
BABY WHISPERERA couple of weeks later, Sunny had a pediatrician appointment downtown late in the afternoon. Since we were out and about anyway, I took her to meet my friend Simone for an early dinner at a restaurant near the doctor’s office.“How did her appointment go?” Simone asked as she perused the laminated card that listed today’s specials.“Six-month checkup went great. The doctor says her weight is right on target for her age.”“I’m so glad.” She looked up from the menu. “And how are you?”I paused, momentarily stumped as to how to answer that. “Good…good.” There was no point in venting about my day-to-day problems. Simone and I were in two different places in life, and she likely wouldn’t understand. As one of the city’s top ballet dancers, Simone was where I would have been had I not been injured: an elite principal dancer, performing at night, sleeping in most mornings, and attending rehearsals in the afternoons, in addition to having an active social life. In many ways, I
Our Secret Baby 37
Later that night, Sunny was inconsolable. She would not stop crying, and I cursed myself for letting her get that shot today. I’d called a nurse’s hotline, and they told me her fever of 102 was normal under the circumstances, and there was no need to take her to an emergency room. They said to monitor her and make sure she was getting enough fluids.I’d brought her into my bedroom because I couldn’t leave her alone like this. I also thought holding her would help, but it didn’t seem to matter. Holding her only made me feel better.Her wailing continued as I paced the room and rocked her. I’d never seen her like this before.There was a knock at the door that I barely heard through her crying.Shit. Had one of the neighbors complained? I didn’t need anyone’s wrath on top of this.I walked over to the door and looked through the peephole.It was Deacon. Remembering he had that girl over, I cringed. The roles had reversed. Now we were disturbing his peace.When I opened, I started babbli
Our Secret Baby 38
DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT ITDEACONI was pretty sure my balls had fallen asleep. Or if not fully asleep, they were definitely numb from lack of movement. Not wanting this baby to wake up again, I hadn’t moved an inch the entire time Carys was in the shower.How did I get myself into this situation?Oh yeah. I’d felt bad for Carys and wanted to show my concern. I never thought I’d actually be able to help. Because shit, what the hell did I know about babies? Absolutely nothing. And I’d always thought it was better that things stayed that way. Such a huge responsibility. The last thing I expected was to be comfortable holding her, or that she’d actually want me to. Apparently this little one liked me for some reason.When Carys came back out, I nearly did a doubletake. Her long, straight, strawberry-blond hair was down and towel-dried. I’d never seen her hair down before. She typically had it tied up, which was also nice because she had a beautiful neck. She wore a short nightgown that cl
Our Secret Baby 39
“Well, I’m definitely learning from this conversation. I’ve never known anyone with Down syndrome before Sunny. But I can clearly see that she’s a healthy, happy baby.”Sunny continued to sleep through our whispered conversation.“Don’t get me wrong,” Carys said. “She will definitely face challenges a typical kid wouldn’t. But overall, our day-to-day life is the same as if she didn’t have Down’s.” She stared off. “When people ask me, ‘what she has’ or ‘how I feel,’ I tell them she was blessed with an extra chromosome and leave it at that.”I loved that. I nodded. “Everything is a matter of outlook.”“That’s right. And I don’t view her as handicapped. Unique, maybe. But not handicapped.” Carys played with some lint on the couch. “They did tell me to expect her speech to be delayed. She started early-intervention services as soon as she was born. Someone comes to the apartment a couple of times a week. She might have to learn sign language before she starts talking, but I’ll take that a
Our Secret Baby 40
PROMISE NOT TO LAUGHCARYSThe faint noise of traffic from the street below was the only sound in the room as I nervously waited for Cynthia Bordeaux, the director of City Ballet, to begin the interview. Cynthia and I had met years ago when I danced for her competitor.She finally took a seat across from me and folded her hands.“So, let’s get right to it, Carys. Why do you think you’d be the best choice for the PR position we have open?”Forcing confidence, I sat up straighter. “Because I know the business inside and out, not only as a performer, but I worked the admin side for a couple of years after my injury. That well-rounded experience, as well as my good writing and speaking skills, makes me a great fit.”She moved her pen between her fingers. “But you don’t have any specific public relations experience. So you can understand my hesitation in hiring you for this particular job.”“Well, I never worked in public relations. But months of having to respond to the press regarding my
Our Secret Baby 41
DeaconWHAT GOES IN MUST COME OUT I knew today was Carys’s first day of her new job. Over the past few weeks, she’d interviewed a ton of people about watching Sunny. She’d finally found a woman she liked—a retired daycare worker looking for something to keep herself occupied, and who didn’t require a set schedule.I’d gotten up at 5AM and gone to the gym, grabbing Starbucks on the way back so I could drop one off for Carys before she had to leave for work. Even if she’d already had her coffee, an extra might not hurt today.Holding the cardboard tray, I knocked on her door.She opened, and it was clear from her face that something was wrong. “What’s going on?”Her voice was shaky. “Sharon, the woman who was supposed to be watching Sunny today, just called. Her husband is having problems breathing, and she had to take him to the emergency room. She’s not going to be able to come.” A tear fell down her cheek. “This is my
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CarysMORE IN COMMON THAN YOU KNOW The sound of running water immediately registered when I walked in the door. Cynthia had sent me home at 2:30 with a bunch of information to review. I was thrilled that I’d be able to relieve Deacon a bit early.“Deacon?” I yelled.“In here!” I heard him holler.Oh no. This isn’t good.When I got to the bathroom, I said, “I would ask what happened, but Iknow what happened.”Deacon held Sunny stiffly away from his body as the tub filled. She had poop all the way up her back.“There was no way the wipes were going to clean this,” he said, sweat pouring from his forehead.I rolled up the sleeves of my jacket and took her from him. “I’ll take it from here.”Deacon immediately left the room. I thought he ran out to vomit or something, but he returned soon after with a bath towel. “Now I know where you keep them, in that small closet in the hall
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