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Chapter 3

مؤلف: Sunecho
I was dead.

But my soul was still trapped here.

Mom and Dad finally came home with Iris.

She was pale, and Dad carried her gently up to her room.

Mom saw the broken cake on the floor, candles still stuck in it, going sour. Something flickered across her face that looked like guilt.

“Did we say too much to Elena? She's still a kid.”

“Locking her up, ignoring her calls.”

Dad put an arm around her shoulder. “She's not a baby anymore. She needs to learn. But I think she's probably figured it out by now. If she apologizes, I'll give her the egg tarts she likes.”

Mom nodded. “Yeah. Elena's always been easy to win over.”

But when Dad knocked, there was no response.

I stood next to him. His eyes were red.

He probably hadn't slept all night.

That was how they used to be when I was sick.

“Dad, come in and talk to me. I can still hear you.”

Mom looked stricken.

“She's still upset with us.”

She tapped the door lightly.

“Elena? It's Mom. You won't even open up for me?”

Dad worked so much that Mom had always done most of the looking-after, and I used to tell her everything.

She sighed.

“Elena, I know your birthday matters to you, but Iris matters more, doesn't she?”

“It's just one day late.”

“We have a big surprise to make it up to you.”

“But I can't have a birthday with you anymore.”

Dad chimed in. “Once you turn twelve, you'll be all better.”

“You just need to be a good girl, and then you get the surprise.”

“Just apologize, Elena.”

There was still no response.

Dad's expression was getting tight, and Mom knocked again, more gently this time.

“Dad took the day off tomorrow, and next month we're going on a family trip.”

“Don't make Dad angry, okay?”

“We're going to Tanzania to see the great migration. You always sit glued to the TV whenever it comes on.”

I wanted to cry.

But souls didn't have tears.

I'd never told her any of that, but she'd known the whole time.

I didn't want to make Dad angry.

I'd already walked into the storage room by myself.

I just couldn't speak to them anymore.

I went over and tried to wrap my arms around her, but my arms passed straight through her, and I lowered my head.

“You don't need to make it up to me.”

“You won't get the chance to.”

When there was no answer, Mom started to lose patience.

“Why are you throwing a fit over something so small?”

Her voice was exhausted. “Elena, when are you going to grow up? Your father and I are so tired.”

“I'm sorry, Mom. I made you sad again.”

I said it softly.

But they couldn't hear me.

Mom grabbed Dad's hand. “Forget it. Just leave her alone.”

“Let's give Iris the egg tarts.”

I leaned over to look at them.

The egg tarts were still warm.

What a waste.

The doorbell rang.

It was Grandma at the door.

She'd aged so much in just a year. Her hair was completely white now, and her back was bent.

“Where's Elena?” She glanced around with her brow furrowed.

I'd always been the first one to run to the door when she came over.

I crouched in front of her, the way I used to. “Grandma, I'm right here.”

She looked up the stairs, confused.

But she couldn't hear a thing.
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  • Parents’ Regret After I Died for My Sister   Chapter 9

    Grandma got on the train back to the village with my urn in her arms.I floated next to her.The fields ran past the window in long green sweeps, and her white hair lifted in the breeze.I remembered that when I was little, back before I got so weak, the whole family used to ride the train out here together, and the view had looked just like this.Grandma rested the urn on her knees and held it carefully.The train rocked for over four hours, and she barely moved.By the time we reached the town, it was already dark.Grandma didn't turn on a light. She felt her way into the old wooden house she'd lived in for forty years and struck a match.“Elena.” She said it softly, as if she were checking whether someone else were still in the room.She set the urn on the mantel, then dug a white candle out of a cabinet, lit it, and stood it next to the urn.The flame wavered, then steadied.She sat down in the rocking chair in front of the fireplace and just looked at the urn and the candle.She l

  • Parents’ Regret After I Died for My Sister   Chapter 8

    Grandma used her pension to buy a coffin, a thin and light one.She said she didn't want me to cost my parents another cent.She dressed me in a white dress with little daisies embroidered along the collar.Her hands were rough, but her touch was so gentle, as if I were only sleeping and she were afraid to wake me.Mom tried to come in and help, but Grandma blocked her at the door.“Get out.”She kept working on me with her head down, never glancing at Mom once.Mom stood in the doorway, lips moving without sound.Her hand pressed against the door frame until the knuckles turned white, and then she slid down it slowly until she was crouched in the hallway with her face in her knees.Iris had been carrying around the rag doll I'd made for her.I hadn't done a good job on it. The eyes were crooked and the mouth was slanted. Iris was disgusted at first, yet later she carried it everywhere.Her eyes were swollen and her cheeks were streaked with dried tears, but she wasn't crying anymore.

  • Parents’ Regret After I Died for My Sister   Chapter 7

    The doorbell rang.It was Mrs. Collins from next door, coming to borrow something, and Mom answered the door with red eyes.“My God, what happened?”She saw me in Grandma's arms, and her gaze hitched.“Elena? Don't tell me—”Mom looked up sharply with bloodshot eyes.Mrs. Collins patted her shoulder.“She was always frail. It's not your fault she didn't make it.”“Things will be easier for you now.”“Just yesterday you were telling me Elena was here to collect on a debt from a past life.”“Get out.”Mom's eyes turned vicious.Mrs. Collins's lips moved, and then her eyes drifted to Grandma.“Out.”It was Grandma who had spoken.“Now,” she said. “Out.”The look in her eyes finally shut Mrs. Collins up, and she backed sheepishly out the door.The moment it closed, Mom collapsed, as if every ounce of strength had been drained out of her.“It was me…”“Elena must have heard me say things like that, and she must have thought I didn't want her anymore. That's why she left.”Dad pulled her aga

  • Parents’ Regret After I Died for My Sister   Chapter 6

    I stayed standing next to them.Grandma woke up and stared blankly at the ceiling.Her lips moved without sound.She was calling my name. Elena.I lay down beside her and rested against her chest, the way I used to when I was little.The smell of her soap filled my nose.Something warm spread through me.“It's not your fault, Grandma. I know you really wanted to be here for my birthday.”Iris was still in her pale blue hospital gown, barefoot, with her hair loose on her shoulders and her face whiter than mine.Wasn't she cold? She wasn't even better yet.I wanted to ask, but she couldn't hear me.Mom had to take care of Grandma, so she let Dad hold me.Iris watched my body in his arms for a long time, and then she said quietly,“You lied to me, sis.”“You said we'd eat the strawberry cake together.”“I didn't lie. I had the candles ready that day, but you were asleep.”“I left a little present for you anyway.”I reached out to touch her hair.My hand went through it, the way it would h

  • Parents’ Regret After I Died for My Sister   Chapter 5

    “Elena.”Mom let go of Iris and stumbled forward, staring at me as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing.Iris peeked out from behind her, eyes huge, and my curled-up body was reflected in them.“Elena?”Her voice was as thin as a thread of spider silk about to snap, trembling in the air.No one answered her.The small body on the blanket didn't move, didn't breathe.Mom knelt down and touched my cheek.It was stone cold, cold all the way through.Her hand jerked back.She froze in place, like a statue someone had broken.“No.” She shook her head faster and faster, as if she were trying to throw the thought out of her skull. “No, no. Jason, come look. Is she sick? Is Elena sick?”Dad rushed over and pushed her aside.He held his hand near my nose, hesitating.His hand was shaking violently.He didn't believe it, so he laid his head on my chest, trying to hear a heartbeat.There was nothing.He collapsed onto the floor, muttering, “She really was hurting.”He covered his face and

  • Parents’ Regret After I Died for My Sister   Chapter 4

    Grandma stood in the hallway with a small cross clutched in her hand.“Where's Elena?” she asked again.Mom's shoulders flinched, and she glanced back at Dad.He came out of the kitchen.“Don't worry, Mom. Elena's fine.”“She's been acting out lately. She made a scene last night, we had words, and now she's reflecting in the storage room. It's been cleaned up. It has a bed and blankets. It's basically a little bedroom.”I looked down at the dirt stains on my dress.Dad hadn't noticed that there was only a roll of grimy old blankets on that floor.“Reflecting?”“Mom, Elena really was throwing a fit last night—”Mom started to defend it, but Grandma cut her off with a look.“She's a child.” Her voice rose. “It was her twelfth birthday, and you locked her in the storage room?”“Iris was sick. We were going to make it up to her today.”Mom's voice shrank with guilt.Grandma paced the hallway.“Alina came to me this morning,” she said, her voice lower now. “She told me I had to come and be

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