Chapter 4: The Face

            Nothing feels worse when the heart you craved the most will loathe you with all his being.

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                                                                             Arlet

“The bride is ready.” These were the words I had wanted to hear for so long, but who knows, they would bleed my soul like never. I wanted to become his desire, but why was it felt like I was deceiving him?

Looking down at my mirage in the mirror, I hated my existence.

Just the way she chopped the length of this dress, she minced away my emotions and devotion to fall in love.

The bridal ensemble was a signature of aspiration, and I could see how Reile loaded me with the burden. Her freedom will be my suffocation. Her choices will be my suffering.

My teary eyes just wanted to ask her why she pushed me into this fire of facade. But then I remember it’s the deal with these devils. If someone has an axe to grind, they do something for selfish reasons.

Reile successfully made the replaced bride look worthy of the things that don’t belong to her.

“Oh, stop crying. Can you believe you are going to get married to a millionaire man, and you don’t need to work hard to be a mother because you already have a child?” Debbie stitched in time and saved nine.

Reile chuckled, throwing her perfect rhinestone wedges at my feet to wear them. “Wear it.”

I tried, but it slacked out of my feet. With a disgusted look, she glanced roughly and came up with a temporary solution to stuff the cloth dust at the back of the wedges.

“She is ready, mom.” Reile crossed her hand over her shoulder.

William strolled next to me and declared the last command I needed to follow at my poor being.

“You are walking on thin ice. If you spill the beans, I will leave nothing for you.” He announced, and the veil of being a replacement covered my face.

Walking down the Aisle, I didn’t dare to look up. My feet were hurting with the sloppy wedges, and the hurt couldn’t diminish.

“Not a single tear, Arlet.” William was escorting me.

With every step towards him, my heart was drowning in sorrow. Yes, I wished to marry him, but not like this. What went wrong in my prayers is that the universe has manipulated the situation like this.

Reaching close to the wedding arch, my body froze. Ruben stood there waiting for me. It was a dream come true. He never looked so handsome, and here I am, thinking an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

Should I tell him the truth?

I bit my lower lip hard when William read my thoughts of letting him know the truth.

I heaved a low breath, and everything subsided when his hand touched mine. I didn’t know how much I craved this, but as much as I wanted to hold his hand, I was scared inside of what would happen when he will see my face.

“Are you ok?” His voice was so close to me. I nodded silently, trying to tuck away my face.

“You look beautiful.” Am I? How worthless I felt these compliments were not for me. But things shifted his focus from my veil when we headed to the next segment of getting opening remarks from his friends.

A couple stood next to us on the stage and blessed us with all their hearts. They even shared how Ruben planned his proposal for Reile and kept it between his close friends. But my heart couldn’t settle for a moment between all those happy beats. All I could feel was tricking him and becoming the face of a scam in his life. He deserves happiness, and I don’t want to become who I am now.

It’s the time to exchange vows. But little did anyone know this bride was mute. Fidgeting, holding my breath, my inside was trembling badly. How will I recite vows about him when I don’t know what to say?

Ruben said something I was unaware of listening to because I indulged in embarrassment. Everyone clapped on his vows. I am sure he poured his heart out for Reile in those words.

It was my turn.

My hands were trembling, and I only wished the earth would open up, swallow me, and never spit me back.

But that wish didn’t complete when Debbie stuffed a piece of paper in my hand. Did she rip one of my journals? Shit.

But I still need to solve something for myself. How am I going to read this?

“Sorry, Ruben. She had many ice cones yesterday and couldn’t utter a word.” Debbie comes up with a fake solution, which I am sure will be revealed in a few minutes, when Ruben sees my face.

Sometimes I ask myself, what have I done to have this man in my life?

Why am I in love with you? But then there is no reason I could find, only unexplainable feelings from my heart.

From what I know, I have loved you since the time I understood what love was.

I want to dedicate all the songs in this world because I see you in them when I close my eyes.

I want to cherish those beautiful moments of making morning breakfast with you.

I want to hold your hand when I first feel our baby’s kick. I want to grow with you like I am aging in perfection.

Debbie read my words, the ones I wrote in my journal for him. I cried inside, but didn’t let a teardrop from the edge of my lashes.

If I have to describe love, romance, passion, devotion, and blessings, I just want to say. It’s your name.

Ruben Rodriguez.

Everyone clapped happily, and it cracked everything inside me to see these words getting assigned to Reile’s name. Ruben held my hands in his, and happy tears filled his eyes.

Those emotions were so pure, but it was not for me.

“This is beautiful. You have touched my soul, Reile.”

I blew a frigid breath and swallowed the lump down my throat. Everything is going to go down. The priest recited his words, and we exchanged the ring.

“Ruben Rodriguez, do you take Reile Amor as your lawful wife?”

“I do,”

Every word made a deep cut in my soul, and sure as hell, this was the worst evening of my life. “Reile Amor, do you take Ruben Rodriguez as your lawful husband?”

The words choked on my chest; even if my craving soul wanted to answer this question, I couldn’t form the word in my mouth.

“Reile Amor, do you take Ruben Rodriguez as your lawful husband?”

The priest repeated, and I nodded without a word, gasping my mute throat.

Debbie jeered, “You know her voice...” she bewailed, supporting the lost cause standing in front of him.

“You can kiss the bride.”

My heart stopped when Ruben’s hand held the veil. He raised the sheer cloth that couldn’t hide my face anymore, and there, his expressing teary eyes changed into cold grey stones.

Those grey eyes knew this face scammed him. This would be the face he needed to hate for this lifetime.

I wish I could tell him the words were mine, but nothing came up except the guilt I have in my eyes.

I am sorry, Ruben. I never wanted to meet you like this.

“Kiss the bride,”

“Kiss the bride,” everyone cheered.

Before I could contemplate, he leaned and kissed my chin. It was so instantaneous I couldn’t notice whether he touched my skin or not.

Did he? Why would he? Isn’t he supposed to yell at me?

I was surprised and could read the same expression on his friends who were there at the time of the proposal.

Something was not right; I felt it was the silence before a storm.