Chapter 4 - The choice

Me and Lacey had spent hours talking in her bed, she cried, I cried but we comforted each other knowing we felt just as scared and lost as each other. My aunty and Max had been trying to give me advice and guide me, but it was Lacey that understood the most, the turmoil I was feeling from having to lead the rest of us. She held my hand when I told her I couldn’t wrap my head around this being the way I had become the Luna…. And Luna of what? I could even sense that no one here really viewed me in that way apart from the guards, even then it was only out of loyalty the need to protect me. If anything they were doing a better job so far at keeping us safe than I was. So far all I’d done is cry and be so indecisive of what was best for us all. I felt like a pathetic excuse for a Luna, nothing like the strong and capable Luna my mother was.

Even though me and Lacey had talked until we fell asleep, it didn’t stop the nightmare from reoccurring as I woke up in sweat and tears but having her there pulling me in for a comforting hug and telling me she’d always be there for me was the only thing stopping my heart from completely shattering.

I had woken up this morning sick of the way I had portrayed myself since we got here, and I was determined to make a decision once and for all. I told the guards to gather everyone into the dining hall so that I could make the announcement they had been waiting for.

I tried to pull myself together as everyone sat down and looked doubtfully at me. My hands shook and my legs wobbled beneath me, but I tried to ignore it, hoping I could appear more confident than I felt. “Good morning everyone”. I spoke loud enough for them all to hear, willing my voice to sound strong.

“I’ve asked for you all to be here so that I can finally let you all know what I think is best for our future. I have been in thoughts about whether to stay here or live amongst humans”. I began and immediately there were whispers and glances of concern being passed around, but I tried to not let it phase me. “After careful consideration and weighing up our options, I have come to the conclusion that our only hope is to find new land”.

“New land for what?”. One woman spoke up with a frown.

Well, if you’d let me finish, I’d bloody tell you! I scolded her in my own head. “To build a new life in”. I replied.

“Build with what? We have nothing!”. A man rebuffed.

“As soon as we find land that we can live comfortably on, me and the guards and whoever else is able, will come back and gather the wood and tools we need”.

“But that will take too long!”. Another man called out.

“So we’d have to live without homes for how long?”. Another questioned.

“I understand it’s not ideal and yes it will take time to gather everything and rebuild, but I feel it is the best solution. If we live in a human town, we lose who we are. If we stay here, we’re putting ourselves at risk!” I said, trying to reason with them.

“And how can we be sure they still won’t find us?” Another woman asked.

“Me and the guards will make sure our tracks are covered. We have a better chance somewhere else than we do here!” I tried to explain.

“Well, I, for one, agree”. Max intervened. “Can any of you really say that you’re happy to live in a human society? To pretend you’re one of them and allow your wolves to die! At first I did think that was our only solution, but I have to admit, I am relieved that we won’t have to go through that”.

Everyone murmured amongst themselves, reluctantly agreeing with him.

“By any means, if there are those of you that wish to move on to a human town, then I will allow you to all make that choice for yourselves”. I told them, feeling slightly pissed, knowing they wouldn’t be satisfied with any option I gave, so, their choice was in their hands!

“When do we leave?”. Aunty Emma asked with a supportive smile.

“We leave today!”. I answered, causing more whispers and groans in the room. But the thought of staying here one more night was making me feel nauseated with unease. I just always felt so tense and on edge, expecting that man and his clan to burst through the trees at any moment. “We gather as much as we can for now. Only bring what you can carry, and we’ll share what we have until we can come back for more”.

“What about when all our food provisions run out?”. Another member spoke up.

“I’ll make sure there’s a plan put in place for when that time comes”. I replied, inwardly groaning at how spoiled and timid everyone had become. Too afraid of sleeping rough temporarily or getting their hands dirty to forge a new life! “That is all for now. We meet back here in one hour and we’ll leave. Anyone that wishes to stay or find a human town can do so on their own terms”. I reminded them before leaving them to it and heading to the main pantries and storage rooms. I grabbed as many bags as I could with the help of Max and aunty, and we began piling food, clothing, blankets and I even packed some rope and some of the sheeting that had been draped over all the furniture when we first got here.

Everyone gathered back into the hall clutching a few items in their arms or in bags lugged over their shoulders. I instructed the guards to remain at the front, sides and rear of the pack to try and make the pack feel more secure. We left the hall and set off through the fields at the back of the village that led to another part of the woods.