Mag-log inElara’s POVThe first time Ruin let me leave the estate alone after Aurelia’s birth, he followed me halfway to the gate before stopping himself, and I noticed immediately; of course, I did. He stood near the front courtyard with both hands in the pockets of his jacket while the driver waited beside the SUV awkwardly.“You are doing it again,” I said.Ruin’s jaw tightened slightly. “I know.”“You checked the route three times,” I muttered.“It is a long drive,” I said.“It is twenty minutes.” His eyes shifted briefly toward the vehicle. “I could still come with you.”I crossed my arms slowly. “You promised.”That stopped him because he had promised, not casually either. After our conversation about fear controlling our decisions, he agreed to start letting go of certain habits. Small ones first. Today was one of those gradual changes, rather than a dramatic adjustment.I was meeting with several women involved in the outreach project I started outside the club territory. It began as so
Elara’s POVThe knock at the door turned out to be nothing dangerous; that fact alone irritated all of us more than it probably should have. A courier had arrived late with paperwork regarding one of the club’s legal properties. Axel only called Ruin downstairs because the man refused to leave the documents without a signature – no threat, no attack, no emergency, just ordinary business. Still, after the courier left, the tension lingered inside the estate longer than expected.I noticed it immediately in Ruin, not panic but readiness. His shoulders stayed tight through the rest of the evening. His attention shifted toward every sound automatically; even during dinner, he kept glancing toward the windows without realising it, and if I was honest with myself, I understood why, because I felt unsettled too. Fear once kept us alive, and that made it difficult to stop listening to it completely.Later that night Aurelia finally fell asleep after nearly an hour of refusing rest for reasons
Elara’s POVThe panic started quietly; that was the worst part, not dramatically, not loudly, just a slow tightening inside my chest that appeared without warning one ordinary afternoon. Aurelia had been sleeping longer than usual, which should have felt like relief. Instead, I stood beside her crib staring down at her tiny sleeping form while dread crawled slowly through my body for reasons I could not explain logically.Her chest rose gently beneath the blanket, fell, and then rose again. I still reached down twice just to make sure. By the third time, my hands had started shaking.I stepped back immediately, disturbed by my own reaction. The nursery remained peaceful around me, and pale sunlight drifted through the curtains. The soft machine near the crib hummed quietly while Aurelia slept without concern. Nothing was wrong, and I knew that, but fear did not always care about logic.I walked out of the nursery too quickly and nearly collided with Ruin in the hallway; his expression
Elara’s POVBy the middle of the month, exhaustion stopped feeling temporary; it became part of the structure of our days, not unbearable, not dramatic, just constant.Aurelia’s sleep schedule still changed without warning, which meant ours changed too; some nights she slept peacefully for hours, other nights she treated rest like a personal insult and dragged both of us through endless pacing, feeding, soothing, and guessing.I had not realised how deeply exhaustion could settle into the body until now. My muscles still ached from recovery some mornings, and my back hurt constantly from carrying Aurelia for hours at a time. Even simple things like washing my hair or finishing breakfast uninterrupted started feeling strangely luxurious, and Ruin looked tired too, not emotionally distant but physically worn down.He hid it better than most people would have, but I noticed the details anyway. His reactions had become slower, the silences longer, and he often rubbed one hand over his fac
Elara’s POVBy the end of the week, we finally accepted an important truth: that nobody naturally knew what they were doing, not me, not Ruin, not even Sofia, despite her constant confidence and alarming tendency to speak like she personally invented childcare. We were all learning through trial, error, exhaustion, and survival, mostly exhaustion.The estate kitchen looked unusually peaceful that morning compared to the chaos of previous days. As Aurelia slept in the carrier next to the table, sunlight streamed through the large windows. Sofia sat nearby, organising baby clothes with military seriousness, while Dean attempted breakfast and slowly destroyed the stove in the process.“You are burning eggs,” Sofia informed him.“They are cooking,” Dean replied.“They are black," Sofia laughed.“That is flavour," Dean said.Ruin walked into the kitchen carrying a folded blanket and looked directly at the smoking pan.“We should probably keep a fire extinguisher near you permanently.”Dean
Elara’s POVBy two in the morning, I was beginning to understand why sleep deprivation qualified as psychological warfare. Aurelia had been awake for almost three hours, not crying continuously; that would have been easier somehow. Instead, she drifted through unpredictable cycles of fussing, brief calm, suspicious silence, and sudden screaming powerful enough to shake the entire emotional stability of the house.I sat cross-legged near the centre of the bed, holding her carefully against my shoulder while trying not to look as exhausted as I felt. Across the room, Ruin paced slowly with a bottle in one hand and the expression of a man losing a battle he could not physically fight.“She ate already,” he muttered.“I know,” I whispered.“She was changed.” He said.“I know,” I replied.“She cannot still be hungry.” He said.I looked at him tiredly. “She is a baby, not a hostage negotiator.”Aurelia immediately released another offended cry directly beside my ear, and Ruin stopped pacing
Elara’s POVThe air in the hall felt heavy enough to suffocate. Viktor stood between two armed guards, but he did not look afraid. He looked furious and his gaze burned into Mikhail with open hostility, and for a moment, I forgot to breathe.“You dare accuse me?” Viktor demanded.Mikhail did not fl
Elara’s POVDarkness swallowed the room so completely that I could not see my own hands.Gunfire echoed through the corridor outside, loud and violent, vibrating through the metal walls of the compound. My heart slammed against my ribs as instinct forced me to drop beside the table.Ruin moved inst
Elara’s POVSleep came slowly that night, like a cautious visitor unsure it was welcome.My body felt exhausted from the day’s chaos, from the shooting lesson, from Ivan’s intrusion into the compound, and from the woman who had appeared in Ruin’s office speaking my name as if she knew me. My mind r
Elara’s POVThe scream cut through the night like a blade. My body reacted before my mind could understand what was happening. I ran toward the clubhouse door, but Ruin caught my wrist.“Stay behind me,” he said. We rushed inside together.The hallway lights flickered again, casting uneven shadows







