- HAZEL -
I was fazed ever since I finished class and couldn't concentrate much in all of my classes throughout the day. I never expected to see him again, yet here I am, passing through the worst cliche of my life. I checked my guide and tried to find my way to my dorm.I couldn't say a word throughout his lecture. My mind went rogue, all I can think about is him. Imagine the horror I felt after knowing I slept with my professor. I swallowed. My sexy professor.I can't believe he's much older than me. I thought he was about my age. Oh Lord, where did I go wrong? How on earth was he with us at the grill that day? What is going on?!Tell me you're not the least interested about the fact that you get to see him again and I'll rest my case. My mind taunted.I bit my lower lip in response.I am in fact intrigued. Maybe this gives me a chance to figure out his name or continue from where we left off.I shook the thought out of my mind. I thought transferring to a new campus would be the end of half of my problems but it just became the start of another problem. How do I tell Kate that the man I slept with is him?Everything is going so wrong all of a sudden.I sighted my dorm and made my way in. A lady is sitting at an open office in front of the dorm, I bowed a bit while passing her and walked in, that was my way of greeting.Once she was no longer in sight, I sighed.All I want to do is eat and rest my head while avoiding Kate all evening. She said she has something she wants to tell me too.I don't know what that could possibly be but I know that nothing could be worse than this. I strolled down the girl's hallway. On both sides are doors leading to rooms and like a typical dorm, it's noisy and clustered yet quiet and neat. I just saw two girls walk out shirtless and braless with bras tied on their head. I won't even bother trying to understand that.. . .I groaned when I reached my door and dipped my key in my lock. My door came open and I walked in. My eyes widened at my welcome and I froze. A basketball came flying in the air, swooping past me.Woah! That nearly hit my head. I stared at the other side of the room where it was thrown from."Sorry, bad habit." A lady laying lazily on her bed said. She has a white cap on which has the print of a spider in front with red zebra lines on both sides. She's putting on a baggy jersey matching the style on her cap and a black, inner long sleeve shirt. Brown cargo pants covered her feet. She has a toothpick in her mouth and she's laying upside down with her legs wide open, leaning on the wall. How on earth can someone shoot a ball in that position? "The name's Jasmine." She eyed me? It's hard to tell when her head is facing the ground. "I'm guessing you're our roommate?"Our?Another girl walked from the other side of the room, that's when I realised that there were indeed four beds in this room. There's a thin wall which divides the room in two, half way, giving both people at each half of the room space and privacy but also allowing us to communicate without having to push a door to give us access in our room. Two tables and chairs rested on each sides of the wall. I can tell the desks at the other side are for the roomies on the other side but the desks leaning on my side of the wall are for me and I'm guessing the other is for her, Jasmine."Heya. Ashlyn here. You can call me Ash." She said. She's wearing a baby pink short sleeve shirt which fits her torso well and outlines her slim upper body figure, and a pleated mini skirt. A thin black belt is on her waist as well as a silver heart chained belt. Her legs are covered with furry pink leg warmers, one stretched up to her knee and the other is a few inches above her ankle. She has sneaker-boots on as well.Her hair is packed in a ponytail and a cat ears headset is hung around her neck.She's pretty and I love her black and dyed red hair. Not to talk of those tiny heart shaped stickers on her cheeks."Savory is the fourth one. She'll be here soon, I think. Nice to meet you." Ash said. She held her hand out for a fist bump. I bumped into it and she grinned."I wondered how you'll be like. Not to lie, I'm glad you're not all Barbie." Jasmine said and sat up. Ash threw the ball back to her. Jasmine has a deep voice and I like it."Don't listen to her, Jasmine just enjoys making girly girls traumatized." Ash said.I stared at her with a raised brow. "Aren't you one?""I tried to tell her the same thing." Jasmine piped in."Not a chance. Although my fashion sense depends on my mood." Jasmine spun around, flashing her outfit. The only question I have for her is; why's she wearing shoes inside?Jasmine tsked, bouncing her ball from her hand to the ground and vice versa. "Or how many boys you've kissed."I giggled, I'm sure I'll have fun with these two."Jealous you haven't had an ask out yet?" Ash sing-sang."Nope, I crush them in basketball. You should feel sad for yourself.""Well, nice to meet you Jasmine and Ash. I'm Hazel.""Enjoy your stay with us." Ash said with a sway of her hip to the side."Of course she will, she's on my side of the room." Jasmine stopped bouncing the ball and tossed it. Ash caught it in front of her face with both hands. Even I would've tripped over if a ball came flying directly at me. I can already tell they're agile and probably have known each other for a while."Whatever makes you sleep well at night." Ash shrugged and tossed the ball back. Jasmine caught it, bounced it once then spinned the ball with one finger, standing up. I have zero knowledge of sports and feel so odd right now.I flung my bag on my desk and walked to my bed. Jasmine is on the down bonk. I can't believe I'm staying up. Well, it's not so high and the stairs are cabinets so I'm fine with it. I jumped on my bed and sighed, staring at the ceiling. Today sure has been eventful.I think the good part about being on campus is I have no time to think about anything else. My mind will be clogged with school work and I'm sure my one night stand probably doesn't know I'm his student. To be fair, I don't want him to know even though I'd love if he did.My thoughts are all over the place about my decision and how I feel about him and our sex. Part of me wants to believe it was just a phase, but he fucked me so well.Held me so passionately. Handled me roughly yet with care. I took a deep breath in. I guess all I have to do is avoid him throughout the year. I can do that much. Besides, he probably doesn't remember me anyway.My phone rang.I groaned.It's in my bag on the desk. I really don't want to get up. I closed my eyes and stuffed a pillow over my head, trying to block both of my ears from the noise called my ringtone.I have roommates now. I reminded myself. I can't leave my phone like that.With a roll of my eyes, I climbed down from my bed to get my phone. It is Kate. Part of me expected to have missed calls from my parents but there are none. There's also none from that cheating jerk.Not that if he sent a text I'll know. I changed my line and deleted everything about him. The only people I talk to now are the rest of my contact, excluding Ivy of course.I picked the call. "Hey?" I started."Hi, want to meet up tonight?"Not really. But I'd really love to get my mind off things before I rest tonight."Sure, give me the details. Any special place in mind?" I asked. I want to know if it's a casual meet up or something more."I will text it to you. Dress nice. It's a fancy restaurant and I want to introduce you to someone. My big secret."That totally caught my interest and a smile formed on my face."Okay girl. But promise we'd dish whoever it is later and have a hang out on our own. I have a lot of things to tell you." Keeping secrets from Kate isn't something I'm good at. She might be able to help my dilemma."You bet your ass, we will. Let's meet up outside school, I'll pick you up or you can head there if you'd like. I'll still text the address."I don't advise meeting her there because I don't know anywhere but meeting her somewhere will give me a good tour of the state. "I'll meet you, bye. Oh and nothing too early. I want to have a nap.""Nine pm it is!" Kate beamed from the other end. I giggled."Perfect. Love you.""Love you too." I cut the call and sighed. If anything, this should ease me up more. After all, like I said, he might not remember me anyway and it's just about time I forgot about him.*I walked in. The first thing I noticed are the walls and awesome arrangement of the restaurant.Kate was right. This place really is fancy. I'm glad I did not show up under dressed. My fingers tightened on my purse as I walked in, trying to locate her with my eyes.I can feel my wavy hair brush my back and shoulders as I made my way forward in my short, surrounded with stones, black dress and midnight black heels. My earrings are silver with tiny fake diamonds all around and I'm putting on a tiny chain necklace with a small silver heart attached to it.I took a deep breath in. I feel kind of weird. Who could be so important that Kate would want to meet here?Maybe it's me. She might just want me to feel better. But by the look of this place, I can tell even water will be nothing less than fifty dollars."Honey, you made it." Kate walked up to me. An awkward smile formed on my lips as she hugged me. She has always had the gift of spotting me wherever I am. I still don't know why I feel so odd. Like I don't belong ....It's strange."Y...ea...h." I said. When we broke our hug, I took my time to study her outfit. I don't know what shade of purple she's wearing but it's shiny purlple-pink. It's an armless dress with stops just above her knee. She's wearing matching shoes, glossy red lip stick with light makeup. Her jewelry is nice too. The crystals fit her outfit. "You look pretty."I said to her. She smiled to the compliment and gave me a kiss on the cheek.Her hand held my arm and even that made me gasp. I don't think she noticed how agitated I am. I really need to get out of here. I have a feeling that something creepy is going to happen but I don't want to ruin her suprise.Does Kate want to tell me that she's an undercover secret agent and I just won a hundred grand?Or did she get a job offer she can't refuse and is leaving?This habit of always overthinking things needs to stop."Let's get to our table." Kate says and walks me forward to a table at the corner. I like it because it's hidden. She pulls a chair out for me and I sit."Thanks.""Anything for you." She winked and blew a kiss. "Give me a second to make a call. He should be here by now."He?If this girl called me to meet a man, I'll kill her after because she could have sent a photo."I want to go to the restroom. I'll be right back." I said to her before she left. I'll find the loo myself.I walked to a staff and asked for directions. She led me there and I walked in. The first thing I did was turn the tap on. I took a deep breath in.Relax. It's nothing new. So relax. It was just sex and you did not know his identity. If you knew he was your teacher, you wouldn't have fucked him. My conscience reassured.It's not a bad thing. Teenagers have sex all the time, I shouldn't make mine problematic and let the thought plague me. I plan to tell Kate tonight and I think that's why I am kind of nervous.I looked in the mirror and tried to smile.It's just one thing and that thing is in the past. There's nothing to worry about and it's not an offense if it happened when you weren't a student here. Worrying about that night is okay but not this much.I walked out of the restroom. I remember the way to our table from here.I sat on the seat when I noticed someone sitting opposite me. Is this the wrong table?"Oh my God, I'm sorry. Must be the wrong one." I said without looking at the person and stood. I froze when I saw his face. My breath hitched.It's Mr K.What is he doing here? And why does he have an usual smile on his face?"You've got the right table. Sit. Please." He said. There's that commanding tone in his voice that makes me want to obey.I stared at Kate. She's talking to a chef. Did she already figure out and set this dinner in my honour?A content smile formed on my face. This is why I love my best friend!!"Are you stalking me now? Moving because of me is quite low." I teased, sitting back down without taking my eyes off his. I pressed my legs together. This man makes my body stir in ways that it shouldn't.He chuckled. "I will save the chat for another day." He said. "You changed your number."My throat tightened. I don't know if that was a question or a sentence."Why? Did you miss me?" I asked. I'm playing with fire and I know it but I can't deny, meeting him a second time feels good. It gives me butterflies, the good kind. The fact that I still feel things despite knowing who he is puts me in a tight spot.I wonder if he can feel it too. Killian chuckled."I see you two have already met!" Kate said with a smile.We've done more than met. I've seen him naked.I didn't say a word because I'm sure she already knows."Hazel, this is Killian." Of course, Killian. I won't forget his name this time. "Killian, meet my best friend, Hazel." Kate rushed through her words. "Hazel, this is the secret I wanted to tell you. We're getting married. Killian and I." Kate said and I felt my heart crash into a million pieces for a reason I'm not certain of.My throat felt dry and I hope my shock didn't show facially.All I feel is a million times worse. This can't be...She sat by his side and pressed her lips on his cheek.She's not lying... the wide smile on her face proved it. She looks happy. So happy.Oh my God, I feel terrible. How do I tell her I know her fiancé is cheating and I'm the one he cheated on her with?My life just took a tragic turn.I faked a smile. "Congratulations." I struggled to say, clapping.The air feels thin and it's hard to breathe. The one man my body craves so much more than anything... who has been on my mind for weeks is my best friend's fiancé. I swallowed.And I fucked him.- KILLIAN -Kate stood up. She whispered something in my ear before leaving, leaving Hazel and I alone for a while. A smile formed on my face as I stared at Hazel. She looks anxious. Ridiculously and vulnerably anxious. "She's in the loo." I whispered under my breath, telling Hazel. Even that made her gasp. I watched her reaction carefully. She looks uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable and I don't like it. Although, I think I kind of love how she's squeezing her thighs underneath the table. I tilted my chin up with a smirk. "You can relax, I don't bi-" I started but got cut short with a yell. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Hazel whisper-yelled at me. "I'm going to pretend I know where you're headed." I retorted calmly. "Pre-" She paused to catch her breath. "Pretend?.. I don't know, like, what the fuck?!" Hazel leaned her hand on the table, pushing her upper bod forward. Her lips parted and from the frown on her face, I could tell she was about to say or do the meanest thing
- HAZEL -Looking for another word for dick? I'll gladly recommend Killian. How he pretends like I'm non-existent shocks me to an incredible amount. I clenched my fists on my thighs, narrowing my gaze at him while fighting the urge to kick his feet from underneath the table. Did watching them kill me slowly? Yes, I felt my heart rip again into a million pieces. Did I stop looking? No. Do I have a choice? No, not really, unless I want to give myself out. I'd hate it if Kate thought I didn't get along with her fiancé when it's exactly the opposite. Very much far from the opposite. We got along quite too well. Ugh! Fuck my mind! It's not meant to be against me! I rolled my eyes and exhaled. It'll crush Kate to know the truth. Now I don't know which is worse. Lying and pretending it never happened or telling her and risking her heart break and our friendship being ruined. I know the right thing to do, but right now, I don't want to be that good girl. I glanced at both of them. A w
- HAZEL -"Are you sure you don't want me to drop you?" Killian whispered in Kate's ear, standing in front of his car. I stood far away from them of course and mouthed barfing each time he glanced my way but I heard them anyway. "I'm certain. Hazel and I need to have some girl time." Kate beamed. I don't know why that caused me to roll my eyes. I am more than relieved we won't be going with him. The last thing I want is to be in the back seat in his car while watching both of them in front. The last thing I want to do is get involved in anything that'll leave me remember that night. "I can call an uber if you'd like. Leaving you alone at night isn't something I want to get fond of." His voice is deep. That caused me to glance at them. Kate leaned higher and pressed her lips on his. His arms are wrapped around her waist. A pinch of jealousy resurfaced through me and I scoffed. I shouldn't scoff, not over something like this. "I'm fine. We don't need one, Kil, but the kind gesture
- KILLIAN-I went straight to my office after showering and getting dressed. My home office is just a floor above my room. I have a lot of unfinished files and matters to sort out tonight and I haven't started working on any of them. Maybe if I skipped dinner, half of them would've been completed but I needed to keep my fiancé happy so I have no regrets. Speaking of which, I have no idea if she has responded to my text yet. I reached my hand into my pocket and brought out my phone. Kate hasn't texted me yet. Heck, she hasn't even seen my message. I flung my phone carefully on my desk and made myself comfortable on my office chair. I can't focus one anything else if I can't be sure she's safe. The urge to drive to her dorm just to check in on her is high. 'Hey you. Gotten to your dorm yet?' I texted. My eyes are fixed on our chat. Just this doesn't seem right. 'Call me when you see this. I'm worried about you.I love you.' I texted again. I know she won't see this so soon and I'
- HAZEL - I yawned, laying on my bed. It's afternoon and I have a class in thirty minutes but I don't want to go. I don't want to have to sit in class and watch the 'hot' professor I had sex with teach. That's another form of torture because this time, I won't be there alone. I'll be with her, Kate, and the last thing I want is to mix up the glances he'll pass my way because of her, glances not directed at me of course. Plus, Kate won't be so drunk anymore, she'll be sober and sober Kate asks a lot more questions than drunk Kate. I groaned and buried my head in my pillow. Or a pillow on my head, it's literally the same thing, just this time, the pillow is actually on my head, burying my head. I groaned. My frustration is forcing me to have a logical explanation for things I normally wouldn't think about twice. "You good, new girl?" Jasmine, my roommate asks. How do I even talk to someone about my situation without feeling like a bad person? I can always use other people as refere
- HAZEL -I laughed on the call. I'm sitting outside of my new favourite café while studying and talking to Theresa and Patty. I love sitting in the outdoor seating area whenever I grab a snack because of the cool breeze and peace of mind it brings. "I'm telling you girl, it was tragic. Her face was covered in dog shit and no one still knows how." Theresa said, filing her nails. She was just telling me a story about Ivy's humiliation. That girl just couldn't stick her tongue around one dick and messed with the wrong girl's man. "She literally cried. I think I have a picture of poop getting stuck in her mouth." Patty added and proceeded to go through her phone. We're having a video call and they're connected to my laptop. Ew, gross. Although I would love to see the picture of Ivy covered in shit, I don't think I want to while I'm eating. "Well, she deserves it." I said sipping out of my hot chocolate. "I know right? Can you believe she tried to play the pity card when you left? She
- KILLIAN -My class ended. Students are walking out of the class. I scanned the crowd for a second looking for someone. She's not here. This is the third class this week she hasn't attended. Why do I have the feeling that she's avoiding my class? And on purpose. I raised a brow as I glanced at Kate. She's sat in her usual spot but there's no Hazel. Why do I care? Kate winked at me. She's trying so hard not to be so obvious. I grinned back at her and watched her leave. I don't, I replied my thoughts. Hazel is just a student that I'm aware of. Of course her absence will bug me. I sighed and picked up my tablet from the desk. If anything, this is interesting. I'll be sure not to do any make up tests or activities for a student to catch up. I walked out of the classroom while checking my schedule on my tablet. A smile formed on my face when I saw my schedule. I have none. Never in my life did I think I would be glad not to do something. I hate teaching and it is surprising because
- HAZEL -I shut my eyes closed and stretched my arms. My shoulders are killing me and I'm not even done writing down this journal.What kind of people are these lecturers? Do they think we are fucking robots? What happened to just printing out pages from certain sources? I groaned and rolled my eyes in exhaustion. One major problem I've had with skipping certain classes is I've arrived late to two other classes twice. Now I'm suffering from it. I dipped a salmon bagel in my mouth and took a bite. This is the third snack I've had from this cafe. I'm not hungry, but something about having to sit outside and study in a café raises the food cravings. I sipped out my glass, half filled with diet coke. My eyes are still glued to this page. I've read and reread it countless times and there are so many things that need to be corrected and rewritten but I'm highlighting every line that I think needs to be rephrased. Once I'm done with this written project, I'll type it out on my laptop with