MattI lay in bed, the quiet so loud it was an entity. Jenny and I had connected my electronics, but I wasn't interested in what played on my flat screen on the dresser across the room. My gaze skimmed over what she'd referred to as an accent wall. Painted burgundy, it held two large black and white prints of exterior park staircases. She'd left the rest of the walls white, like we'd done in the living room. Color without being obtrusive. Hell, she'd even found a dark red bedspread to match. Brown candles for the dresser.Rising, I padded into the adjoining bathroom and surveyed my surroundings. She'd been a little work horse. I'd seen her changes when I'd showered after she'd left, but I couldn't stop wandering around. Partly because of the changes and mostly because her absence from my house after a week in close proximity felt like a void. I'd gotten used to having her here. A few hours, and I missed her something fierce.She'd turned my parents' summer vacation house into my home.
MattPresentI spent the week getting crap in order. Mundane, tedious, but necessary. DMV. Suits dry-cleaned. Bills transferred over. A monthly maid service set up for basics. Insurance papers. I'd even had lunch with Ian's folks next door when they'd spotted me in the driveway to say hello. I'd tried to visit Jenny's grandfather, but I wasn't on the list. She'd texted to say she'd add me and was sorry the attempt had been a bust.A call to my parents had settled plans for Thanksgiving here at Seasmoke, and I'd fiddled with invites and dates for a housewarming, but hadn't cemented them yet. Figured I'd ask Jenny her thoughts later.This morning, I'd stood staring at my reliable white sedan, and then thought of all the changes I'd made to my life. The car had to go. Out with the old, in with the new. Ergo, I researched cars and SUVs. A truck wasn't for me, and I wasn't looking for flashy. Just different. Maybe something not so...boring?Anyway, I'd come home this afternoon with a Jeep W
MattI took in her flushed cheeks and wanted to haul her against me, make her flush for entirely different reasons. Christ, she was gorgeous. And seriously. What was wrong with me? Damn it. Get a grip. "What was that all about? The numbers?"She shrugged. "How many songs they'll sing. Friday night is open mic night. The customers love it. We have quite a few talents among us. Blows off steam, too.""Jen-Jen. He's set." Rock kicked a chair over to her and cut the sound system.Which reminded me. "Jen-Jen?""Grampy's nickname for me. No one calls me Jenny but the Seasmoke crew." She glanced at Rock, then the stage. Using the chair as a step, she climbed on the bar top with the grace of a cougar and walked the length as catcalls rang out. "Y'all ready?" She laughed at the cheers. "Give it up for Deiter!"Deiter strung a couple notes on a guitar and smiled as the crowd chanted his name. After a moment, the room quieted and the guy on stage began playing.Jenny hopped down and moved the cha
JennyApril - Four Years AgoHe'd come. Again, when I'd needed him the most, Matt had come. What had started as a frustrated Skype chat about Grampy's fading memory and how he'd been wandering out of the apartment, resulted in Matt instilling a three-day weekend to drive down.After two hours in town, he'd taken charge, calling our attorney and getting papers in order while Grampy still had links to sanity. Winter's Den was now officially mine, the bills transferred to my name, and a power of attorney was in place for healthcare and financial. I had a sinking feeling we'd need to invoke that last bit soon, and my stomach knotted.When we'd first been given the diagnosis, I'd tried to have Grampy to get this stuff under wraps. But days turned into weeks, then months, and three years passed in a blink. Every tick of the clock had brought him further and further from reality. Matt had fixed the legal end of my concerns. He'd had a private chat with Grampy during a lucid chunk of time and
JennyApril - Four Years AgoHe'd come. Again, when I'd needed him the most, Matt had come. What had started as a frustrated Skype chat about Grampy's fading memory and how he'd been wandering out of the apartment, resulted in Matt instilling a three-day weekend to drive down.After two hours in town, he'd taken charge, calling our attorney and getting papers in order while Grampy still had links to sanity. Winter's Den was now officially mine, the bills transferred to my name, and a power of attorney was in place for healthcare and financial. I had a sinking feeling we'd need to invoke that last bit soon, and my stomach knotted.When we'd first been given the diagnosis, I'd tried to have Grampy to get this stuff under wraps. But days turned into weeks, then months, and three years passed in a blink. Every tick of the clock had brought him further and further from reality. Matt had fixed the legal end of my concerns. He'd had a private chat with Grampy during a lucid chunk of time and
JennyOn Friday, when Matt was busy in a meeting, I carried the items I'd bought into his office, hoping to be in and out before he came back. I was still raw from our dinner on Wednesday night and couldn't bear the thought of seeing him right now. He'd be at the bar tonight, but I'd have Rock and a hundred customers as a shield. Taking down the degree certificates he'd hung on the wall, I put up the lighthouse print frame I found instead and moved his diplomas to the shelving unit behind his desk to display. The other shelves I decorated with a piece of driftwood, a clock, a lighthouse knickknack, some Atlanta Braves gear, and Carolina Panthers stuff. A picture of him with his parents and another with the Seasmoke gang finished it off. On the table in front of the window I set out a small potted cactus-if he forgot to water it routinely, it would be fine-and a crystal bowl with mixed seashells and pinecones.Before I left, I put the invitation to my Alzheimers benefit on his desk.
MattJuly-Two Years AgoCara paced the beach under the pier in pouty strides, pure pissed off vibes shooting into the night.I watched her, determined not to give into her this time. Tomorrow, I'd be heading back home to Greensboro, and I wasn't leaving things like this between us. She was beginning to come down off her high, her hands shaking, and I braced myself for the sharp lash of her tongue.Slowly, I drew in salt-tinged air and struggled for patience. We'd been at this an hour already. "I'm willing to try if you meet me halfway."She rounded on me. "You're insane. This was a fucking hookup, nothing more.""Then why are you still here arguing with me?" My gaze wove over her too-thin frame, her short knotted black strands. "I'll tell you why. Because you want to try, too.""Bullshit," she muttered, but it was weak."Go to rehab. Get clean. Work this shit out of your body and I'll come back down to Myrtle. Or you can come up to Greensboro." I ran a hand down my face, not
MattPresentMy head was a riot of chaos. With my elbow on the table, I rubbed my fingers over my lips, pretending to listen to Amber. We were at a delightful little French bistro having dinner, and I couldn't recite back one word she'd said after hello. She wore a pair of black slacks and a pink sweater, makeup lightly applied, golden hair around her shoulders, and...nothing. She was perfect, exactly what I needed, but I felt nothing.Jenny's voice from last night drifted into my head again. Her sultry tone and the powerful punch of emotion as she'd sung. Just what, precisely, did that song mean? I'd been teetering back and forth for going on twenty-four hours, dissecting the lyrics. I could've sworn she'd meant it for Ian. It made sense, with the seven days focus and whatnot. Except...Hell. Except that one line kept tripping me up. I only exist in your eyes. Thing was, she'd never state that about Ian. From day one twelve years ago, she knew-everyone knew-that Ian belonged with