My Thoughts

"I'm fine, Asher!"

 

I raised my voice to reassure Asher. Honestly, I felt so embarrassed when those perverted and crazy thoughts popped into my head at the sight of something bulging in Asher's pants. Asher narrowed his eyes. Can't believe what I'm saying.

 

"I'd better eat now before this food gets cold." I immediately changed the subject. Asher nodded. But he didn't leave. Asher got up, opened the fridge, and got a cold bottle of beer for me.

 

"Thank you," I said sincerely. I felt comfortable with all the attention Asher was giving me.

 

"No problem. You should drink after eating, Daphne." Asher smiled again. Oh god, it felt like I couldn't swallow the food in my mouth at the sight of Asher's intoxicating smile. Asher looked like a perfect god tonight. He cooked for me, got my drink, and waited for me to eat. Now he's smiling at me with his handsome face shining even more under the dim light of the kitchen lamp.

 

I try not to look at Asher's face and focus on the food on my plate. Don't look at his face again, Daphne. Just focus on the food on your plate. I repeatedly affirmed myself not to be distracted by Asher's presence, which made me misbehave tonight because of the bulge in his pants and his sweet attitude.

 

The spaghetti Asher made was delicious. Asher is apparently good at mixing spices and estimating flavors correctly. He's a good cook to me. It could be that Asher learned to cook from a great chef. Even Martin, who cooks every day, isn't as good as Asher.

 

Shit! Why does Martin's image always appear and make me compare him to Asher?

 

I hit my head to get Martin out of my mind. Asher held my hand. I didn't even know that the expression on my face had turned so annoyed.

 

"Wow... what happened, Miss?" Asher held my hand. I was really very angry.

 

I brushed Asher's hand away quickly. "I'm fine. Just shaking off the unimportant thoughts that are bothering me," I said while trying to calm myself down.

 

"Your face is red again, Daphne. Are you having trouble breathing?" Asher observed me. His face was getting closer to mine. Oh, Asher, don't you know my red face is because I'm embarrassed and misbehaving?

 

My eyes glanced down. I seemed to be curious about the bulge in Asher's pants. I felt strange realizing he was aroused by cooking something for me. I was still looking at that big bulge in Asher's pants. His big one was still erect until now? It must have hurt like hell to get something that big inside. I shuddered in horror at the thought. But the deepest part of my soul told me it was sexy.

 

"I'm fine, Asher. How many more times do I have to tell you?!" My voice rose. Asher nodded. He wasn't bothered by my rudeness to him. Instead, I felt guilty for yelling at him when he had cooked something for me.

 

"I apologize. I... I have a lot on my mind right now," I said honestly while looking down. I shouldn't have been rude to the person who helped me. Papa must be very disappointed if he knew his daughter had become an ungrateful person.

 

Asher smiled again. It seemed that all my rage and anger didn't bother him. I salute Asher's calmness in managing his feelings. "No problem, Daphne. If you want to talk to me or need my help, just say so. I'm ready to listen and help."

 

"How?" I wasn't sure.

"What, how?" Asher frowned. "Don't you know my job and duties here? Of course, I'm going to help you. I've always done whatever your father said because I owe him my life."

 

"No, you don't. You don't understand my problem, Asher."

"Maybe I don't understand your problems, but at least I can understand your feelings."

"I don't need someone to understand me." Maybe this is a bit harsh, but I think Asher is meddling too much in my personal affairs.

"Daphne, it looks like you're in a mess. Even earlier, you were daydreaming. Are you still thinking about that jerk? Think of yourself. You're beautiful, smart, have a beautiful body, rich, and have everything. You can do anything. You're great, Daphne. You're perfect."

 

Asher was right. I was perfect. But he didn't know that I was daydreaming about imagining something in his pants. In my mind, now filled with Asher, I had imagined something I didn't usually think about.

I swallowed the last of my food. Then, I opened the bottle of cold beer Asher had given me.  I gulped it down.

 

"Slow down. You might choke."

 

Asher's warning was too late. I choked violently. It felt like something was stuck in my throat. The water that went into my mouth came out of my nose. It was excruciating. Asher rubbed my back to calm my trembling body. I coughed violently, then sat up limply.

 

"Are you okay? You don't seem okay, Daphne. You seem strange today."

"I'm fine, Asher! And stop asking if I'm okay. You've asked me that question five times already, and I'm sick of it!"

 

I couldn't control myself now. Asher's gaze made me sit back down. I really wasn't okay. Maybe my feelings were still hurt, or something was bothering me from the subconscious that made me this messy. It was supposed to be a beautiful day. I was working normally and shopping.

 

"Daphne ...."

I tried not to care.

"Daphne... we can talk about it and solve it together instead of being awkward like this. Learn to be an adult."

I took offense. Asher's words seemed to belittle me.

 

"So in your eyes, I look like a child, Old Man? Just because you cooked food for me, you shouldn't talk like that. Who are you to judge my attitude?"

 

"I just wanted to help. You seem distracted and troubled. You're daydreaming and not your usual self. Is my attitude wrong?"

"You're overreacting, Asher!"

Asher raised his hand. "Alright. I give up. I just want to help. It's up to you now."

My heart warmed. Asher's words sounded very sincere.

 

Asher's concern made me realize one thing. I've been lacking love all this time. I had everything, and daddy loved me, but he didn't have much time for me. I was so starved for attention and affection that I thought Martin was a savior angel who loved and cared for me the most in this world. I was wrong. My beautiful hope was broken. Martin cheated on me and broke my heart.

 

I was fine up front. Who would have thought that Daphne Zannelis, who was so rich and had everything, could feel sad? Even though I slept on a pile of diamonds, it didn't mean anything because I was alone, and there was no one to hold me.

 

I looked at Asher sharply. "You can't help me, Asher. So you'd better shut up now."

"Why can't I? You don't believe in my abilities?"

Asher seemed pushy. I chose to stand up and leave him immediately. What can he do, be my boyfriend now? Seriously!

 

"Daphne, wait!"

"Let go of me!"  I tried to avoid Asher. I wanted to run out, but my heels made me almost fall.  Asher held my body, and like the scene at the end of a romantic prince and princess dance, we stared for a long time.

 

My heart was pounding like crazy. I can even feel that Asher's heartbeat is also abnormal. Asher's forest-scented perfume plus his handsome face and eyes... Oh god, his eyes are so beautiful. I gulped down my saliva, seeing such a beautiful sight this close.

 

Our faces were so close together, and with a little more movement, we looked like lovers kissing.

 

How many seconds have I been like this? Why does time feel so long? Why is Asher looking at me so deeply? What is he feeling right now?

 

I saw Asher's Adam's apple rise and fall. He wants me to. I swear he wants me now, too. Come on, Asher. Just a little more movement. All you have to do is move your lips five centimeters forward, and we'll kiss. Come on, Asher!

 

I didn't think that I could think like this. But Asher didn't move forward at all or let go of his hug that was holding my body. We just stared at each other with our thoughts. I don't know what Asher was thinking. Is he also unable to bear to kiss me? It's so strange today. My mind went back and forth between happy and sad. Asher's presence makes me less sad. He seemed to position himself always beside me.

 

But he's not moving at all now.

 

A little more movement... and we'll be kissing.

 

I bit my lower lip. Asher blinked and seemed to wake up from his hypnosis. He released his hand that was holding my body. I immediately fell to the floor, but my hand reflexively pulled his shirt until we both fell together to the floor.

Now I'm on the bottom, and Asher is on top of me, crushing my body.