I'll try to forget about her. I'll go back to how my life was before I went to that stupid party, before I got drunk and turned up at her door. Before I spent time with her and actually thought we could date and the past wouldn't matter. Seeing Ruby bullying her and her reaction was horrendous. She can't handle it and that's all she'd get if we got together.
I need to leave her alone!
"What was that today?" Ruby screeches at me the minute I walk into Luke's living room. "It was humiliating."
"Fuck off Ruby, I'm not in the mood." I drop down into my chair.
"You still trying to bang that boff?" Billy asks, his arm around Stacey. I shake my head. "Good, she's too much effort."
"Yeah." I say, although I think
Molly starts barking and dancing on the spot when the doorbell goes. Shane's standing there, school bag in hand, a deep frown on his face. "Before you say anything, I know, I'm sorry. I was going to back out but I wanted to see you." He stands on the doorstep waiting to be invited in or sent away. "Are we studying?" I ask, he's not met me after school all week, hasn't spoken to me at all apart from that weird, brief encounter at lunchtime today. "We don't have to?" "Do you want to?" "I never want to." He laughs, brushing his hand back through his hair. "But I need to." "Better come in then." I step back, letting him cross the threshold, more confused now than I was on
After a while, she pulls away from me while I'm kissing her building herself a little pillow barricade to keep us apart and grabbing her plate, focusing a little two hard on the food so I know she's trying not to look at me. As we finish eating, we steer to safer topics, like school, family, university. Something I'd never considered before, but as she talks about what she's going to do, where she's going and how excited she is. I realise that I should have been thinking about what I'll be doing when school ends. The idea of moving somewhere completely different, maybe even living abroad for a while, suddenly becomes an amazing possibility. She starts clearing the plates away, piling the rubbish high on top of one and attempting to carry it out. I stand up, lifting the plates from her hand and following her out. Watching in amusement as she meticulously separates everything into various tubs in the kitchen. "My mum's really into recycling
I wake up screaming from a nightmare that is almost certainly related to the horror film earlier. Shane jumps up out of bed and stands in the centre of the room, looking around for the reason for my scream. He looks so funny crouched there in just his boxer shorts, that I burst out laughing. "Sorry." I whisper, reveling in seeing him almost nude again. "Bad dream." "You know, my mum always said if you tell someone about it, then it won't happen again." He sits at the end of my bed, shivering but concerned. My heart's still beating fast from the nightmare and having him so close somehow makes me feel it pulse all over my body. He shivers again and I flip the quilt back, patting the mattress beside me, he slides in quickly, staring at me the whole time as if I'll change my mind or he's got it all wrong.
How the hell I got through last night without doing more than kiss her I'll never know. When I wake up, her head's on my chest, her body pressed against my side, one arm and one knee curled over me and my arm's around her, clamping her in place. She looks so beautiful and relaxed, I can't help pressing a kiss to the top of her head and her eyes flutter open. "Morning." My voice comes out more of a whisper. "So, are you kicking me out or do you want to get breakfast somewhere? My treat." "Breakfast sounds good, but I do need a shower first." She quickly jumps out of bed and rifles through drawers for clothes before she leaves the room. I wish I'd not said anything and then maybe she'd have stayed in bed just a little bit longer. While the shower runs, I
Monday morning I wake up with a stomach full of butterflies, I have no idea what to expect when I get to school. Yesterday with Shane was so much fun, it's almost impossible to dislike him, but still, the part of me that has been the butt of their jokes for nearly a decade is refusing to back down and trying to prepare myself for huge disappointment. It still could all be a horrible prank. After all, they saw me drunk, naked, and maybe now he's trying to make me fall for him so they can either humiliate me by revealing the joke to the whole school, or maybe so I sleep with him and they can say I'm easy, again to the whole school. Maybe it's only Shane because he's the one I didn't run away from at Danny's. He's the one who can act like a half decent guy, can pretend he actually likes me.
I never realised sneaking around just to hold hands with someone would be this much fun. Every day this week I've found a way to steal her hairband, making her go all day with it flowing down her back, even yesterday, when she brought a spare one and I spotted her in the hallway between classes, I managed to get behind her and nab it, skipping away before she could stop me. I've got a stash of them in my bag, ready to give back at our last tutoring session before she's gone for a whole week. "Thank you." She grumbles when I put the bundle in her palm, but her eyes are sparkling so I know she likes it. "So, you're definitely still going to the fireworks with your friends tonight?" She nods. "And then abandoning me, for a week. What if my newfound intelligence disappears while you're gone? Can you really risk that by being gone for so long?"
"Nice jacket." Kia says when I step out of the car. "Please tell me it's that fit guys from Danny's backalong." "Shane, and yes it's his." I nod, grabbing my bag and following her to the bunks. The officers hand us the itinerary for the week and we quickly change into uniform, ready for the meet and greets out on the parade ground. The first day flies past in a blur of marching, rock climbing and swimming, and before I realise it, it's time to change into civvies for the quiz. I run my hands over Shane's jacket, contemplating wearing it or not, it still smells of him and I like that, but I'm not sure what that says about me when we're not even together. "Hurry up." Kia says, poking her head around the door. I grab the jacket, slipping it on and running after her.
This week has been torturous, but she's back tomorrow and I'm desperately hoping she's missed me like I have her. I didn't know whether to message her or not while she was away, deciding not to after I didn't hear anything from her, I've tried not to think what that means. I've been stalking her F******k profile fairly regularly and there's been nothing at all until last night when hundreds of photos were uploaded by her and all her friends. She looks like she had an amazing time, I'm not surprised that she wanted to go away, it looks like a fun week and I'm kind of impressed with how adventurous she is. There's photos of her climbing down cliff faces, obviously strapped to ropes, but she's got a dazzling smile constantly on her face and at one point she's clearly pushed off and she's dangling, arms and legs splayed like a star. Then the nex