How was last Night

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 5✪6

𖣘

I tried to hold on to the little lie I had prepared, that I really did visit the school clinic because I wasn’t strong enough to go all the way to our family doctor. Maybe if I said it calmly enough, Mom would believe me, but my mom wasn’t the type to just take words. She was suspicious, and her eyes didn’t leave me for a second.

"Ella," she said in her usual strict voice. "if you’re straying, if you’re keeping secrets from me, you’ll not only hurt yourself in the end, you're hurting me too."

Her warning made my chest tighten. I hated moments like this. She always made me feel like a child again, caught in something I couldn’t explain.

"I’m telling the truth," I said quickly, shaking my head.

But I wasn’t surprised when she reached for her phone. That was my mom, she never believed until she confirmed and that was frustrating as hell. Voicing out my frustration would only seem like betrayal, and the last thing I wanted was to hurt her.

My life is a complicated mess, and I really needed her to know I’m not that little girl anymore. I’m an adult now and I can make my own choices. Because hers didn’t end well, didn’t mean it’d be the same for me.

When she dialed, my fingers curled tightly in my lap. My throat went dry. She didn’t even give me time to breathe before she placed the call on speaker so I could hear everything.

"Greetings, Mrs. Wilson," Mr. Mason’s cheerful voice came through.

"Two professors said Ella missed their classes," Mom said, going straight to the point because time meant the world to her. "She claims she was sick, so I’m calling to clarify."

I held my breath, silently praying Mr. Mason would cover for me. There was a pause, then his voice came again. "Even my class, she left halfway."

My heart dropped. 

Mom snapped her head toward me, and I could feel her eyes burning holes into my skin.

But then he continued, "She told me she wasn’t feeling well. And yes, I saw her walking toward the school clinic… I guess she wasn’t really feeling well."

My shoulders sagged with relief and I almost whispered a thank you, but Mom ended the call before I could breathe properly. I had just opened my mouth to speak when my phone buzzed with a message. I checked quickly, my eyes almost popping out at the content.

"Did you get to fínger yourself? The slippery sounds must have gotten you what you were looking for… or were you interrupted before that could happen?"

Doctor Jeffery. What was his problem?

My stomach flipped, and I deleted the text in panic, forcing a shaky smile when I saw Mom watching me... She knew I had no other contacts apart from her and a few of my professors.

"It’s just… spam message," I muttered. Her gaze remained fixed on me for a moment before she sighed and leaned back in her seat.

"Ella, you know how hard I’ve worked, day and night, just to give you the life you have now, don’t you?" Her voice softened, but it still carried its usual strictness. "Do you think it was easy having a child at nineteen? No. You must not make a mistake. Your job is to study, to get good grades, to become successful. Your job is to make me proud."

There we go again. Her words were familiar, it was a sermon I had heard countless times but each time made me feel just how pressure she was putting on me. I nodded along, but inside, my mind wasn’t with her. It was stuck on Doctor Jeffery’s text. It was stuck on last night in my room, when I was busy moaning while fingering myself to how I nearly got caught.

I felt a wave of sadness for her. She had sacrificed so much for me, raised me alone after my dad left her...and she fought for everything we had. And yet, here I was, failing her in silence.

For twenty years, I had always been the good girl. The one with perfect grades, the one teachers praised, but three months ago, things changed. My grades dropped badly, and that was when the dreams began...the wet dreams that chased me into mornings and left me trembling.

Maybe the good girl in me had finally fallen asleep. Because every time I tried to act like her, I failed. Maybe this was the real me from the start? The one craving things I shouldn’t crave?. 

But Mom would never agree to that. She would never forgive me if she knew.

Her voice pulled me back. "You should focus. You’re in your final year now. Don’t disappoint me again with low grades."

I hummed softly, too tired to respond, then stood up and hugged her lightly. "I’m off to school."

To my surprise, she handed me my car keys which got my eyes widening a little. She had seized them weeks ago when my grades dropped by two points. 

Funny thing was, I still had one of the highest GPAs in my class but because I wasn’t at the very top anymore, she was furious.

"Thanks," I said, trying to sound cheerful.

I went outside, walked to the parking lot, and slipped into my car. As I started the engine, I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. I drove off, but my hands were trembling on the wheel. It wasn’t because of my mom or her words, but because of the message I had deleted, for lying to her... And somehow, I hated myself for being this way... 

For betraying my mom this bad.

I still can't imagine the disappointment on her face if one day, she sees me for who I am.. and that scares me more than anything.

I don't know if there are people out there like me with such wild craving or maybe it was me letting these cravings control me, but I was going to work towards becoming the good girl my mom wanted.

"I’ll stay pure for mom's sake." I vowed, but even as I said those words, I couldn’t help but swallow nervously.

I sat through every class, stared at the board, even forced myself to jot down notes, but my traitorous mind wasn’t with me. Every word the lecturer spoke slipped past my ears, three classes ended in a blur and I couldn’t remember a single thing that had been taught.

When the lecturer left, we had an hour break before the last class. Instead of going to get what to eat, I slipped into an empty classroom. The silence inside pressed down on me until I couldn’t hold it in anymore. My shoulders shook, and I broke down quietly.

I buried my face in my hands. "God, forgive me," I whispered, my voice trembling. "This is wrong. I know it’s wrong."

I don’t consider myself religious, but I’ve sat through countless masses, grown up knowing what lust was and the sin it carried… yet I couldn’t control it.

Tears stung my eyes as I begged for strength, for control, but even as I prayed, the devil played his own part....my thoughts kept drifting to him, to the voice I had heard in my dreams.

A light touch on my shoulder made me jump. My head snapped up, and my heart skipped when I saw Arnold standing there.

Arnold was the guy who had taken the top spot in class when my GPA dropped. He was brilliant, admired by teachers and students alike. He was a guy I had been secretly crushing on, but one I could only swallow those feelings for.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly, pulling out a chair and sitting so close to me, his eyes searching mine with genuine concern.

It was surprising because Arnold had never been this close to me, and I had never been close to him either… Not that I couldn’t. Sitting here with my crush, when all I think about was getting fucked... 

Dangerous.

He wasn’t a bad person, far from it but the thought of being alone with him scared me. What if one thing led to another? What if he touched me, and I couldn’t control my self, my needs?

Even if I wanted to lose my innocence, it shouldn’t be with someone from school. Besides, I’d prefer an older man.

His hand touched my cheek, wiping away the tears I hadn’t realized were still there. I blinked at his action, frozen.

"I’m fine," I muttered quickly, standing before the silence grew too awkward. My hands brushed over my face, desperate to erase the remaining trace of tears.

"Daniella…"

I didn’t let him finish, I walked out without looking back and forced myself to return to class, my heart pounding too hard.

I sat through the last lesson like a ghost, my eyes aching from holding everything in, but somehow, I managed. When lectures were finally over, I began packing my books, eager to escape when Arnold walked up to me.

Where did he even find the nerve to come close? Everyone in class knew me to be prideful, the ‘girl who spoke rudely to everyone’ so they never came too close. That included him. Mom didn’t want me having any friends, and being cold was the only way I could scare people off. But here was Arnold, standing like we’d always been friends.

"There’s a party at my place next week… in case you want to come." His voice was low as he slipped something into my hand.

I looked down to see he had written his number on the paper and for a moment, I wanted to shove it back at him, snap, tell him to leave me the hell alone, but before I could, he had already walked away.

I tossed it aside carelessly, trying to convince myself I didn’t care… but my hands betrayed me. I stopped, turned back, and picked it up again, like a girl under some stupid spell.

When I was packing up my books again, my phone buzzed with a message from Mom.

"I’ll be back tomorrow. There’s a business trip I need to attend."

I sighed in relief and typed a quick reply, “Take care of yourself “

I slipped my phone into my bag and left school, but my mind carried me someplace else. Instead of going home, I found my stupid self standing in front of Doctor Jeffery’s office.

I didn’t even remember deciding to come here. One moment, I had been wiping tears in an empty classroom, begging myself for forgiveness. The next, I was here...standing outside the very place I had sworn never to return to, a place that felt like it was meant for sinners.

And worse thing was that I had dressed exactly the way he had asked me to. Something loose, something easy. A short plated skirt, thin top with no layers or safety, just temptation. I hadn’t dressed like this to school no, I had a hoodie which I’d taken off after I left school and it was now in my bag.

My hand hovered over the door handle, trembling. I wanted to know what would happen if I stepped inside. Maybe he would finally give me the release I had been craving, maybe he would ruin me completely like I've always wanted?

But fear held me still.

I wanted this, and at the same time, I don't... But my do was more stronger than my don't.

"What’s wrong with me?" I whispered, chest tightening. The place was quiet, but my head screamed with voices; my mother’s warnings, my own guilt, Doctor Jeffrey words replaying like poison and honey at once.

I leaned against the door, breathing hard, trapped between who I was and who I was becoming, then the door swung open. I staggered inside and collided with something warm and solid. My back pressed against them before I even registered who it was.

I tried to move, but his arm held me steady and his breath brushed my ear dangerously.

"You really thought you could walk away?" he whispered softly."You couldn’t. You came back because your mind was already mine. You want to know if I’ll really take what you’re offering."

Every hair on my body stood on edge, pulse thundering. I pushed away from his chest and finally looked up. He was so tall looking at him made me feel like I was staring at the sky. He stood there, calm and smug like a man who had just won a game I hadn’t even realized I was playing.

I lifted my chin, refusing to let him see the awkwardness inside me. "I actually came to say thank you. Your… lessons helped me distract myself."

But he wasn’t listening. His eyes had already traced their way down, fixated shamelessly on me. His smirk deepened.

"I guess bodies don’t lie."

I frowned, confused, until I followed his gaze and my breath caught. My nípples were strained visibly against the thin fabric of my top, betraying me completely.

Damn it.

Before I could react, he pulled me close again, turning me so my back pressed firmly against him. That heat...

Shit.

My body shivered at the sinful thought that maybe, just maybe, he was as affected as I was. Oh, gawd help me.

His fingers brushed along my jaw, slowly, showing off their length and their strength as if reminding me exactly what they could do. 

"How was last night?" he whispered.

I bit my lip, refusing to answer, but when his hand slid lower, accidentally… or maybe not accidentally brushing over the hard peaks of my chest, a betraying mo@n slipped past my lips before I could stop it.

His warm breath fanned against my neck, sending a chill racing down my spine even as heat pooled low inside me, my body betraying me further.

“Should we continue from where we left off yesterday…” he whispered softly, “though this session might get a little… more theoretical and explicit. By that, I mean we’ll be practicing… not just talking.”

I swallowed, my stomach twisting with anticipation. The words made my pulse quicken because I knew exactly what he meant, and even in my awareness, my body responded eagerly as I gave a small nod.

Then he turned me slightly, leaning down until his teeth grazed my nípple through the thin fabric in a teasing bite. The unexpected action made my breath hitched as I felt that tingling sensation in my pŭssy.

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𝑇𝐵𝐶