Kylie’s just parked the car, and I’ve got Richard inside. I didn’t want to scare her from the moment I saw her. If I came out holding Richard, she might just get back in her car and drive home. I haven't seen her in the flesh in what feels like forever.
She’s changed, really filled out. We haven’t spoken since that night. I’ve seen her on screen, and I’ve kept an eye on her social media, but that's been quiet for weeks. The only time we do talk on the phone is so that she can make sure that I'm not going to be somewhere. ‘Mom’s party. You going?’
I don't want to trick her, so I always tell her that if she can’t make it, then I’ll go, and if she can, then I don't go. That’s the way it’s been for the last three years since Stephanie got married to my dad’s best friend, Terrance. I thought that she may change her mind about the situation. And for once just want to be in the same place with me at the same time.
She looks sad in a way, not the singing sensation in bright lights. Even her social media’s been silent. It’s as if she’s disappeared from the limelight. Right now, I need help, and by the look of things, I’m not the only one.
I wander toward her and notice she’s wearing a hoodie in this heat. Her face is covered with the scarf that she’s got wrapped around her mouth and the hoodie on her head. The only thing I can see is her shining blue eyes, but even they appear a bit dull.
“Hey,” I whisper, and I hesitate as I approach her. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought that it wasn’t her. Or maybe she didn't want to come. But she was the one that called me.
She smiles awkwardly and says, “Hey,” as she removes her scarf.
“So, what do I owe the pleasure?”
She opens the back of the car and starts struggling to get her bags out. I forget how to be a gentleman, as I can't get my eyes off her. She’s put on weight—like a lot. I’m trying to think how long it’s been since I’ve seen her.
“Are you going to just stand there and stare at me all day, or are you going to help?”
She gives up and is sighing as she looks around, maybe trying to figure out if I live here alone or something. I don't know what's going through her mind. I wish I did.
“Aren’t you hot?”
She must be boiling underneath there. It’s nearly ninety degrees outside, and she’s wearing clothes as if it’s the middle of winter.
“Can you help me take my bags out?”
I nod, as she avoids the question. I have to be quiet and get on her good side. After all, she’s going to be helping me with Richard. There’s just one issue. She doesn’t know about him yet.
“Sure.”
I watch her move out of the way as if she’s got a ball between her legs and if she opens her legs wide or even takes bigger steps the ball will drop. I want to ask her why she’s walking like that, her head hung down as if she’s in pain or something.
I’m struggling to take her bags in. I wonder if she’s sure that she’s staying for a month, because judging by the bags, it's as if she's permanently moving in. The car’s jam packed with bags.
“It’s like you’re moving in or something. How many bags did you bring?”
She ignores me, and under any other circumstance, I would have told her not to do that. It’s fucking annoying and downright rude.
“Kylie, if you’re going to live in the same house as me, don’t you think that we should at least talk?”
She stops walking ahead of me and sighs. “You’re right. I’m just tired. It’s been a long drive.”
“Why didn’t you fly?”
She chokes. “I thought that the drive would give me some inspiration.”
“To do what?”
“Write.”
Oh, she must have singers block or whatever they call it in the singing world. This is the part that I love about owning a ranch. There is no creativity required, just practicality. I don’t need to worry about thinking outside of the box or doing anything for others. I just need to work hard and play harder to be successful.
Richard must have woken up; I can hear him crying in the living room. She raises an eyebrow and says, “What’s that?”
I think she knows the answer to that question. I walk by her and open the door. “A baby.”
“I know that, but what is it doing here? I never knew that you were married or in a relationship.”
I’m neither, but I don’t have time to explain that to her since I can hear Richard screaming his head off. God, you would think that I’d left him all day, not a few minutes.
“I’m neither.”
“Whose baby is it?”
I drop her things by the stairs, and as I start to head to the living room, I shout out, “Mine.”
* * *
It takes a while for Richard to settle down, and I don’t see Kylie in that time. It’s as if she’s hiding in the house. I’m just about to call out to her. It seems that it wasn’t Richard’s feeding time. Martin sent me a message with his schedule, and I set my phone to it. He’s got me curious as to whether he has nightmares. This isn’t the first time that I’ve put him down and he's gotten all emotional. It was my fault, really. I haven't figured out how to do that cocoon thing that Martin did yesterday. Whenever I did it, he would only sleep for a few hours.
I laugh.
“You’re only a few weeks old, but you know exactly what you like, right?”
“Seems that he takes after Dad.” Kylie smiles as she comes into the room.
“I only got the crib yesterday, along with the other things. Still trying to get my head around it all.”
“Is this what you needed me to help you with?”
I nod. “Yes. His name is Richard.”
“Where’s his mom?”
I sigh. “I don’t know. She just came here yesterday and left him.”
“Oh.”
I don’t want her sympathy. I just need her help right now. “I need to go to the ranch for a while. Do you think that you can keep him? His next feeding is due in about two hours.”
She’s thinking about it, but then she can’t get her eyes off him. He is a good-looking kid. He opens his eyes for a little while and then closes them back again.
“He even has your eyes.”
I nod as I think about the appointment that I’ve booked on Monday for the paternity test—just to make sure that he's mine.
“I know, but I still need to make sure that he’s mine.”
“I see.”
I’m waiting for her to say something, but she doesn’t. I whisper as I indicate for her to leave the room. Richard’s falling asleep. I don’t want her to change her mind. Otherwise, I’ll be stuck for the day.
“Is it okay for you to look after him?”
She nods. “For some crazy reason, I didn’t think that the favor included looking after your son.”
I want to put things in perspective, “Before yesterday, I never knew that I had a son. I’m not even sure if he’s mine. We’ll do the paternity test on Monday, and then we’ll see.”
She laughs at that. “I can see you haven’t changed.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
She sighs, “Nothing. For some crazy reason, I thought that with my coming back here… the favor had something to do with me.”
We stand, eyes locked, and then she blurts out as she’s about to walk away, “Nevermind.”
She made it clear that the one night was a mistake, something that should never be talked about, and as far as I was concerned she had moved on.
“Oh, Kylie, just one thing.” Her eyes light up as she turns around.
“Yes.”
“You’re going to need the baby monitor. Just in case he wakes.”
Again, she’s quiet. I feel as if this is my ticket to freedom. I can go to work on the ranch in peace for the first time in two days. It seems like two years, and I’ve practically built a baby room in that short space of time. I was going to tell her about the stroller in case she feels like taking him out. I even bought a swing, which he loves. I’ll leave that for another day. She just arrived, and I can tell that there’s something on her mind. I never expected that something to be us.
I feel like such a fool. I got my hopes up high. I thought that he wanted us to get together again. Or something? Looking after a baby never featured into the equation. I took the long drive here, and it made me think that he’ll think twice about what happened that night. Sure, it was three years ago, and I'm sure that he's moved on. But, a girl can only hope, right?I look horrible. I sigh as I look in the mirror in the bedroom. I've never thought that way about myself. Don't get me wrong, I don't think of myself as being the most beautiful girl in the world. My almond-shaped blue eyes and my long fair hair used to be the talk of the town. I’ve got full lips, and some used to call me angelic in the reviews. If they saw me now, they’d be calling me the complete opposite. I’m nothing like the girl he’s used to seeing, and part of me wanted to change before I drove down here. Mom was messing with my head, so I just threw as many things as I could in the suitcases and left. I wanted to
I came home and Kylie was fast asleep in the chair where I’d spent last night sleeping when I was checking in on Richard. I should have woken her up and told her that I was home, but there was something calming about watching her sit there. She looked at peace, not sad like when she first came to the house, and all I could think about was, why did she come if she didn't want to be here? I was tempted to call Terrance and ask him, but then I remembered that I only call him if I'm desperate—which isn't often. * * *I get home wanting to take a nap. I was exhausted this morning when I got up at five. Later on, I have to go back to the ranch, so I head to the kitchen and grab something quick to eat. Kylie’s already made bottles, and it even looks as if she's taken him out in the sling, the one that I’d planned on telling her about. I wonder where else she's been in the house. She seems to have made herself at home in one day. I didn't see her or hear them in the house, so they must stil
I’ve been here two days and I haven’t seen Noah. It’s like he does this disappearing act on me. One minute he’s here and the next he's gone. I only know he comes home because I get up in the middle of the night and hear him snoring like a pig. Damn! When did he get to be such a deep sleeper?I know that today I’m not going to let him pull the wool over my eyes. No way!I think that I’ve lost a few pounds already. I’ve been timing Richard’s naps, and I hate to admit it, but Mom was right. Noah doesn’t store any junk food, and there’s no Starbucks or McDonald’s within easy reach. I don’t have a car seat, so I’m forced to take Richard out in the stroller. He loves being in that thing more than the sling. I think it’s because he has the freedom to look around. He’s a curious little thing, that’s for sure, and it’s as if Noah can read my mind because he shows up midday.“Hey,” he says once again as he sees me. I realize that all the time I’ve been here, we haven’t even had a conversation.
After feeding Richard, I decide to head to the kitchen and whip us up a meal. Everyone says that I’m obsessed with my diet. That’s not true. It’s just that working on a ranch is hard going, so I try not to keep crap in the house. I don’t even buy beer. I must be the only guy in Texas who never buys beers. Drinking is for going out, and I find that there’s nothing lonelier than drinking alone, so I try and avoid it. “What you cooking?” Kylie asks as she sits on the kitchen bench. “Couscous, chicken, and some beans.”“Looks good.” I can tell that she’s not happy about it. “Only healthy produce here, baby.”“Yeah, I know it’s just what I need. Even my skin’s clearing up since I’ve been here.”“That’s good, right?”She shrugs. “I suppose.”Shit, I remember her being the most confident girl in the world—the one that would walk into a room and just light it up. I wonder what changed her? What made her give up? “I work on the ranch all day, and I need this to help fuel me up, or I’ll jus
Last night, I thought that Noah would come into my room, but after seeing to Richard, he just fell asleep on the chair. I didn't want to wake him. I wanted him to come to me, not for me to hint.But he never did. Maybe I'm misreading the signals, but I thought that there’s still something between us.As promised, he came back from working on the ranch midday, and we went for our walk. This place is so damn beautiful, part of me doesn’t want to leave. I know that Noah won’t say no because he needs help with Richard, but I want him to want me. Every so often, he just stops and looks at Richard, even when he’s crying. When I first came, he was acting like the competent dad, but now he kind of looks lost. We’re on the sofa crashing out because we know that we have around four hours before Richard wakes up and needs another feeding. “Kylie,” he says as he looks at me with fire in his eyes. I’m leaning on his shoulder, hoping that this is the moment that I’ve been waiting for. It’s as if
“Wow, I guess that I’ve got a lot of work to do to keep up with you.” I laugh as I wrap my arms around her. “More the other way around. It reminds me of back in the hotel, the wedding… the time you told me to keep away from you.”I shake my head because that’s not exactly the way I remember it. If anything, it was more the other way around. “You told me that it wasn’t a good idea. Your mom and Terrance had just gotten married, and you told me that it was best we didn’t take it any further.”She moves away from me. “You know nothing about women.”Apparently not, because that's what she told me. I never knew that there was double meaning in it. How was I supposed to know? She would call and make sure that I wasn't at the same events as her. It was pretty clear that she wanted nothing to do with me. Not anymore.“Just going to the bathroom. Be back in a minute.”I want to tell her not to be long. It’s as if not feeling her body next to me has made me feel cold again. I wake up alone a
I can’t believe it. I’m sitting down, and all these songs are rolling through me. It’s as if this musical constipation has turned into diarrhea and they’re pouring out of me. “What are you doing?” Noah asks as he starts to grope my tits. I look down, and Richard’s on his bouncy chair—a gift from Terrance, who has become obsessed with spoiling him ever since he got the paternity results. The whole house looks like a nursery. There isn’t a toy or baby stuff not occupying one part of the house. It’s sweet watching him fuss over someone else apart from himself. Luckily, Noah has a piano, which he said that he bought with me in mind. He felt that his home had to have one to have a piece of me. That felt kind of sweet, knowing that when he bought this place and decorated it, he was thinking of me. I don’t know what it is because everything’s clicking like crazy. We go for walks every day, and I submitted a couple of recordings to my manager—my official manager—who said that he would forw
Kylie’s been quiet ever since we sat down to dinner. Richard’s asleep and the monitor’s on the table. We’re supposed to be watching a movie. I put on some chick flick thinking that she’ll like it, and Kylie’s head’s on my lap. I can’t concentrate because I want her so badly. She’s been recording all day, and I’ve been at the ranch. I’m not sure if she’s in the mood. I move her head up by delicately touching it in case she’s watching the movie. Silence. She doesn’t protest or say anything.She lifts her head up, and she’s staring into my eyes. “Kylie?”Her breathing quickens as I pull her close and kiss her gently. I’m expecting her to say something, anything, to tell me to stop. I want to rip her clothes off, but I know that she wants something else from me. She’s kissing me back gently, and then I part her mouth with my tongue. I’m teasing, waiting for her to tell me to stop if she’s not in the mood. She's saying nothing as I inhale her sweet citrus fragrance. It starts to get m