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Verge of collapsing

Penulis: Sinner
last update Tanggal publikasi: 2026-05-12 22:13:54

Nikolai

My chest hurts.

And I just can’t explain the feeling properly.

Probably it started when Nathaniel told me to leave, or when I clearly saw the pain in his eyes, begging me to leave.

He couldn’t even stand my presence, and that thought had something hard choking me.

Eventually, I slowly backed away before turning around and walking off.

I curled my hands into fists, feeling the overwhelming anger boiling through my veins.

This is all my fault.

I shouldn’t have underestimated Liam. I shoul
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  • Sixty Shades Of Ice   Last moments with you

    NikolaiIn less than forty minutes, the car pulled up to a shady-looking building, one of the properties which I assumed didn’t belong to us, as it wasn’t under the Carrington name.Dragging the bloody and limping Grey, he showed us the way.I had already sent Jeremy the location, and he was on his way along with my backups, in case shit went south.Entering inside, the guards there immediately became hyperactive, pulling out their guns at the sight of their boss being held at gunpoint by his son.“Lower your toys, boys.” I hurled, pushing Grey further, so he could speak for himself.He shook his head, signaling them to lower their weapons, which they did.Smart choice, because I wouldn’t hesitate to turn this place into a bloodbath crime scene.The place barely had any proper lighting, and it reeked badly.Walking through the narrow passage, we reached a door.“He’s inside,” my father spoke.And my heart reached my throat, with my heart beating loudly, threatening to jump out.“Open

  • Sixty Shades Of Ice   Finally confrontation of father and son

    NikolaiMy gaze icy cold, I unapologetically held my father at gunpoint.The place had turned chaotic instantly.“What the hell?” snarled the Pakhan, rooting out his gun and having it perfectly aimed at me.But he wasn’t the only one who held his gun out. His men, along with my father’s guards, also aimed at me.“Have you lost your mind… what… What are you talking about?” stuttered Grey, realizing that he had given himself away.“Let go of him, boy,” glared the Pakhan.And if it wasn’t for the fact that he was the leader and also dearest Anya’s father, I would have done the first honor of putting a bullet in his head.Smirking, I glanced at Volkov. “This is a family matter—”I didn’t even get to complete my statement before a loud banging sound erupted.The entire place was pushed into a frantic stampede.“Everyone on the ground! FBI!! Ground now!”Smoke blurred through, where it was a complete madhouse at this point.Jeremy sure did get his people on point in order to create such a c

  • Sixty Shades Of Ice   Engagement gone wrong

    NikolaiIt’s nauseating.I can’t fucking breathe.Harshly, I tugged on my tie, feeling like my oxygen supply was being snatched away from me.People blurred around me, where I could barely focus properly on everything that was happening.Congratulatory words flew through the air.And I hated it.I hated every fucking one of them.How dare they be happy?How dare they act like nothing happened?Like they hadn’t murdered my baby in cold blood.Their hands…Blood…My baby’s blood covered their hands.They’re filthy.I need… I need to…I stumbled backward softly, holding my head as the voices in my head kept getting louder.Stop…Stop…Please…I can’t—“Niko.” Jeremy’s voice sounded.I felt his eyes scanning me… judging me.“You look like shit, get it together.” Saying this, he immediately grabbed me by the elbow, pulling me away before someone noticed that I was losing my shit and eventually ended up killing all these motherfuckers.Pulling me to the corner, Jeremy sighed loudly, with me

  • Sixty Shades Of Ice   Sacrifices of hearts

    Nikolai“You finally came back to your senses, huh?” My father patted my shoulders, smirking at me through the mirror.I remained expressionless, mainly because I was trying to calm myself the fuck down so I wouldn’t punch Grey’s godforsaken face.Breathe, Nikolai.Fucking breathe.Though I kept whispering those words to myself, I found it difficult to pay heed to them myself.“The Pakhan will be so excited, and this marriage will make our family one of the powerful families in the organization after your marriage to his daughter.”My jaw tightened as I tugged on my tie one last time.Smoothing the crease off, he smiled. “You make me proud, son. You’re finally thinking like a Carrington.”“Thank you, Father.”He shook his head, completely pleased. Giving me one last encouraging look, he walked out of the room.And the facade that was there in the first place fell off.I stared at my reflection again.My eyes were completely devoid of any emotion, as the person currently standing there

  • Sixty Shades Of Ice   Denial

    NikolaiFour days later.My eyelids were fucking heavy.So heavy that it hurt.The bright, sharp, blinding lights peered into my vision.“Hmmm…” I grunted, holding my head, which fucking felt like a burden on my neck.I blinked again as my vision stabilized.I was in my room in the Elite mansion-“He’s awake. Niko is up.” Clinton’s familiar voice echoed in my hearing.Holding my head, I slowly pushed myself up, with Clinton immediately rushing to my side.“Don’t move recklessly, you might get dizzy again.” He carefully helped me sit, stuffing a pillow behind my back.The door opened, and Jeremy strolled in. Dark eye circles painted his eyes.I opened my mouth, which was harshly dry, but I managed to say,“Is Nathaniel back?” I curiously looked behind Jeremy, in hopes of my baby walking through the door.Clinton and Jeremy remained mute.Frowning, I snapped a deadly gaze at Clinton.“Where the fuck is Nathaniel? I fucking asked you a question. Where’s my baby?”Clinton squeezed his jea

  • Sixty Shades Of Ice   All over again…..

    NikolaiMy heart was in my throat.I couldn’t breathe.I didn’t dare breathe.Jeremy sat close to me in the station, his hand over mine, trying to walk me through my breathing.I couldn’t.I jumped up again, pacing around.Of course I knew this was all bullshit. It couldn’t be my baby. It couldn’t be my pretty boy. It couldn’t be Nathaniel.Tears pricked my eyes.Clinton stepped forward, squeezing my shoulders in an attempt to comfort me.“It can’t be him, right? It can’t be fucking him, right?” My gaze turned to Jeremy, wanting him to give me something… anything.His eyes were emotionless.And it was damn deliberate.It broke me.“You think it’s him?” I whispered, feeling all the demons in my head crawling beneath my skin.Jeremy calmly stood up.“What I think doesn’t matter, Niko. But you keeping your shit together definitely matters.”Hearing him…Sounding so emotionless…I snapped out of Clinton’s hold and charged toward Jeremy.I grabbed him by the collar, slamming him against th

  • Sixty Shades Of Ice   Well….fuck

    NathanielHis lips against mine felt unrecognizably soft.Slowly, our lips melted, our breathing collapsing together.I knew in every damn universe that this was wrong.Kissing a guy.And finding it extremely pleasurable.I felt Nikolai’s hand weave through my hair, the other settling firmly around

  • Sixty Shades Of Ice   Miss me?

    NathanielI struggled with the two heavy bags containing groceries, while I tried texting.And I know that I probably look stupid, texting him and appearing like someone who I wasn’t, but it wasn’t like he gave me any choice either.He didn’t show up for the tutorial session and if this should cont

  • Sixty Shades Of Ice   Lovers of Gay community

    NikolaiI tugged at the tie for what felt like the sixth time.Hardness clamped my jaw, with the suffocating feeling eating up my lungs.My father sat beside me in the car, his eyes trained on his phone.It’s so damn choking.“I want you on your best behavior. Fuck things up and let your emotions c

  • Sixty Shades Of Ice   Rejection

    Nathaniel“I want you to be mine.”My throat quickly dried up.And my heart did that thing again from last night, fluttering with a giggling feeling which I refuse to name.He leaned closer, covering up my breathing space with his, thought it was somehow suffocating, breathing up all his essence.H

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