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Verge of collapsing

作者: Sinner
last update 公開日: 2026-05-12 22:13:54

Nikolai

My chest hurts.

And I just can’t explain the feeling properly.

Probably it started when Nathaniel told me to leave, or when I clearly saw the pain in his eyes, begging me to leave.

He couldn’t even stand my presence, and that thought had something hard choking me.

Eventually, I slowly backed away before turning around and walking off.

I curled my hands into fists, feeling the overwhelming anger boiling through my veins.

This is all my fault.

I shouldn’t have underestimated Liam. I shoul
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  • Sixty Shades Of Ice   In your arms again

    NikolaiSharp pain slit through my lower abdomen as slowly I opened my eyelids, groaning.Piercing lights blinded my vision, and the white surroundings added to the soft pulsating headache.Slowly, I managed to get-“Nikolai, you’re awake.” Clinton’s voice flooded my hearing as he immediately got up from the couch.“How are you feeling? Are you in pain?”Holding my head, my vision blurred a bit.“What happened—” My throat constricted. My eyes roamed around, and an unsettling feeling of fear crept into my chest. “Where’s…. Nathaniel?”Clinton didn’t say anything.My heart rate paced up at his silence.“Where the fuck is he!!… hmmmm….” I grunted, holding my abdomen as pain shot through my muscles.“He’s fine, okay, he fainted an hour ago, and he’s currently receiving treatment.”“You motherfucker, why didn’t you say that in the first place?” I glared at him.His momentary silence had me thinking the worst.“Because I don’t want you getting all worked up-”“Take me to him.” I ripped the

  • Sixty Shades Of Ice   One last time

    NathanialBlood.Thick, warm, flowing blood slipped through, staining my fingers.My throat tightened as my breathing slowed down, my eyes pounding through the horrific gaze which painted my eyes.He smirked, “I love you so fucking much.” He managed, grunting.“No….” I shook my head frantically, as I immediately placed my hand over his bleeding abdomen.Shakily, I reached, “Nikolai……”His body turned limp, with his blood oozing from his lower abdomen.“Nikolai!!!!” I screamed, my throat burning, my vision swayed with tears, as my body turned into a complete lockdown.“No…. Please…..” I choked, holding his face, “Please… no… please wake up, Nikolai.”He wasn’t responding.I could feel his breathing turning shallow.“No…. Nikolai… wake up, you have to wake up.” Tears trailed down my face, as my heart squeezed with uncontrollable pain.“Don’t worry, he won’t die… at least not yet.” A familiar voice drawled into my hearing.And it was then, slowly, I became aware of my surroundings.My br

  • Sixty Shades Of Ice   His POv 2

    NathanielI’m numb.I can’t do this anymore.I don’t know what’s happening anymore.I’m tired… broken…And I heard one of the guards saying that today is the wedding.Nikolai is going to marry Anya today.It feels like my whole purpose of living has been shattered.But between everything…. I hate him.For giving up on me… for giving up on us.How could he easily abandon us? How could he easily abandon our love?….. Useless…. He never truly loved me in the first place.I mean…. It’s not like I have anything to offer.Him marrying Anya will give him many opportunities, and the protection of the Pakhan against his father too.Anya will love him, and their relationship is something that would be accepted in society.Marrying her is far better than him settling for me.——-Time had completely lost its meaning.I didn’t know if hours had passed or days.The darkness of the windowless room bled together, punctuated only by the relentless, throbbing pain in my skull, my cracked ribs, and the

  • Sixty Shades Of Ice   Dying again

    NathanielI think I’m in some sort of endless and never-ending torturous loop.I don’t know how many times I must have passed out.Sometimes when I wake up, I will be injected with something, which is agonizing and would have me screaming.I wasn’t even food.I was just lying on the ground.And when the door would crack open sometimes, and Grey stepped inside, I felt my soul dying.Because he would put me through some unspeakable pain that I kept begging him to just kill me.“Please… Please… just let me die… I just want to die.”He dropped the belt, grabbing my jaw. “You want to die? I thought you loved my son and wouldn’t want to leave him?”“Please… I…” I choked, coughing out my own blood. “I can’t take it anymore.”Grey’s grip tightened just enough to keep my head up, his thumb pressing painfully into the bruises already covering my jaw.“You can’t take it anymore?” he murmured. “You’ve barely begun.”My vision blurred until I could barely make out his face.Every breath scraped ag

  • Sixty Shades Of Ice   He’s POV

    NathanielDays before“Hmmmm…” I held my head, feeling as though my brain was about to split open.It was a terrible, pulsing headache, as though it wanted to tear through my brain cells.I popped some painkillers, hoping they would resolve the pain.They didn’t.If anything, it only got worse, or maybe the pain was just messing with my head.I had to struggle through all my lectures for the day, and in between, waves of dizziness kept hitting me.What the hell was happening?I managed to stumble to the sidewalk.I didn’t think I could make it home with the pain pounding through my head.Trembling, it became harder for me to breathe, my airways constricting and my lungs feeling as though they were locking up.Fumbling for my phone, I was about to call Nikolai, hoping he would come pick me—My head shakily raised as a rough gust of wind spiraled across my face.I frowned, stumbling backward—It was too late.Before I could understand what was happening, two huge hands grabbed me, and s

  • Sixty Shades Of Ice   Last moments with you

    NikolaiIn less than forty minutes, the car pulled up to a shady-looking building, one of the properties which I assumed didn’t belong to us, as it wasn’t under the Carrington name.Dragging the bloody and limping Grey, he showed us the way.I had already sent Jeremy the location, and he was on his way along with my backups, in case shit went south.Entering inside, the guards there immediately became hyperactive, pulling out their guns at the sight of their boss being held at gunpoint by his son.“Lower your toys, boys.” I hurled, pushing Grey further, so he could speak for himself.He shook his head, signaling them to lower their weapons, which they did.Smart choice, because I wouldn’t hesitate to turn this place into a bloodbath crime scene.The place barely had any proper lighting, and it reeked badly.Walking through the narrow passage, we reached a door.“He’s inside,” my father spoke.And my heart reached my throat, with my heart beating loudly, threatening to jump out.“Open

  • Sixty Shades Of Ice   Miss me?

    NathanielI struggled with the two heavy bags containing groceries, while I tried texting.And I know that I probably look stupid, texting him and appearing like someone who I wasn’t, but it wasn’t like he gave me any choice either.He didn’t show up for the tutorial session and if this should cont

  • Sixty Shades Of Ice   Lovers of Gay community

    NikolaiI tugged at the tie for what felt like the sixth time.Hardness clamped my jaw, with the suffocating feeling eating up my lungs.My father sat beside me in the car, his eyes trained on his phone.It’s so damn choking.“I want you on your best behavior. Fuck things up and let your emotions c

  • Sixty Shades Of Ice   Rejection

    Nathaniel“I want you to be mine.”My throat quickly dried up.And my heart did that thing again from last night, fluttering with a giggling feeling which I refuse to name.He leaned closer, covering up my breathing space with his, thought it was somehow suffocating, breathing up all his essence.H

  • Sixty Shades Of Ice   Morning Atmosphere

    NikolaiShit!Shit!My head fucking hurts, with my brain cells fucking fighting to tear themselves apart.I dragged a hand down my face, where everything fucking hurt in all the wrong places. Opening my eyes, I was met with a very not so unfamiliar ceiling.I blinked, pushing myself up slowly, my h

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